• Posting a myspace blog would be way too public, so I am just going to vent right here about the things in my life that are driving me craaazyy at the moment. So I've had this friend since I was 5. In elementary school we got in a lot of little fights and pretty much hated eachother but in 5th grade we became "bestest" friends. And she has been one of my closest friends since. Let's call her "Mary." About two years ago she began dating this guy whom I will name "Dick." Dick is unattractive: Scruffy black hair, a big, broken nose, a loud, obnoxious voice, a thick neck, and man boobs. Mary is a beautiful, thin but curvy, blonde girl who deserves much more than Dick. A few months into the relationship, Dick cheated on Mary with those gross girl from a different town. The next week he called her in tears and told her. They broke up for a while but got back together at homecoming several months later. On New Years Eve, Dick "deflowered" Mary's rose. That very same night, he cheated on her again. Nobody found out until 6 months later, including Mary. However, Mary decided to stay with Dick despite her friends' urges to dump the bastard and get with a guy she deserves. Yesterday, Mary told her 3 closest friends, including me, that she was angry with us for trying to break her and Dick up, and that if she had to choose between us and Dick, she would choose Dick. I AM SO ANGRY. I have been there for her through thick and thin. We are like sisters. She even calls my dad "Dad." I hope anyone who reads this sees where I'm coming from. All I ever did was care for her, and try and protect her like a sister should! And what do I get for platonically loving her? Tossed aside like a dirty diaper. What the fuck happened to chicks before dicks? Problem number 2: I am no longer attracted to my boyfriend. I mean, I enjoy hanging out with him and he is a very nice guy and I love his family and my family loves him and even better, my friends love him! I mean, he is one of the sweetest guys I know. He even reads Cosmo with me. But I often find my mind wandering. Take yesterday: He called me while I was chatting on aim with an old fling of mine. I was having more fun flirting with the old fling, so when my cell phone ran out of batteries, I made no effort to look for the charger. I find my boyfriend's much older, very much TAKEN, brother attractive. But even worse than the old fling and the brother is a certain boy who we will call..."September." He is the boy I almost cheated on my last boyfriend with. Earlier this summer we had a very heated and dunken hookup which we have not yet discussed. He is absolutely gorgeous. Every time I see him I get wobbly knees and I can barely talk. And...he is in love with another of my closest friends, who is not in love with him. I am so sick of being obsessed with him, because my independence is something I value more than anything, and he makes me feel dependent. All I want to do is go to a completely new town and meet completely new people. That is why I cannot wait until February..Tasmania, here I come.

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