• totally freakin out. all day. i told anna that i tried to cut last night (more later)... and amanda almost overheard. i was like oh its nothing... just stress. and i didnt sleep well last night. hey, it was only a partial lie, a lie of omission... nuthin wrong with that. so wat i mean by "tried" to cut is that i actually held a sharp object to my wrist. (i no, i no, major artery. watevs.) barely broke the surface tho, no blood. im not a cutter. yet. i dunno how much longer i can hold out, help me chlo... and yes, chlo, im listening. i luv u 2. please stop for my sake if not for you..im always here for you. my trust can take anything now, i swear. couldnt abandon you now. "cold turkey", grl. be strong. i know you can do it and u no wat anna and tay said when i told them? "why are you so depressed?? ur life is FINE!" and it just blew me away. i thot u guys cared. i thot maybs i'd get a little sympathy, but noooo.... i get silence and anger. and you think you're the only confused ones... i dont have control over my own life anymore. i could break at the drop of a hat. well wish me luck if i can hold out until summer i should be fine i swear, my music is all thats keeping me from going over the edge. its the only thing that makes me feel ok instead of empty still no pineapples or unicorns 'raiya PS. shout outs to peace_love_empathy!!

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