• i think its over. hes being a jackass and ive grown so independent in the last few days of trying to sort the jumbled ball of string that is my mind. i have decided that after tye, i am going to try to stay single for an entire year and see if that clears anything up in my mind. i am also considering staying at home and going to school at FVCC next semester, i honestly think that by going to school there i will do better because it will be in a more controlled environment and the fact that i have someone to talk to about the things i think about, other than my boyfriend who i really believe could care less.. it may help as well. i really dont have many friends here, han has gone completely astray from everything she used to be, and mel, well i honestly dont know what kind of person mel is. i think she has multiple personalities that coencide with whomever she is around, and that will not help me much. my mom doesn't even really know what to think, but at least i know she is listening and can spew out some useful information. i passed 2 out of 3 of my classes and just barely. unbelieveably i am not suspended from attending, but i just dont see the rest of my college career getting any better with the path i am currently limping down. what the FUCK is wrong with my head. anyway- maybe i can see what the fuck his problem is now. we went to bed with him bantering me about how i was a "princess" when i lived back with my parents and for some reason it really pissed me off. joking or not, he knows nothing about my childhood and although i had it good, i wasnt a fucking princess, and that is all i was teased about when i was younger. he hit a nerve. anyway. two more days until i go back home.

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