• what i've leaned lately , is basically .. you have to do what you want to make you happy. imran tells me all the time that he respects me, and that he likes who i am because i tell people what i think , and how i feel . i never used to do that.. but ive come to realize that if you want people to respect you, you have to tell them how you feel . Carly called me, basically pleading for me to take her back as a friend. Of course ,im always going to love carly, but i told her what i thought .. and how i felt . i told her how she left me at the mall when i really needed her.. and how she ditched me for bella and popularity . i tell her its ok.. because i told her that i moved on and found people that i can trust so much now. she didnt feel the same way , well obviously she didnt, because she's the one with the shitty friends still. We talked about how i got away, and i told myself that i wanted my best friend to be someone that wanted the best for me, and was happy when i was happy. I never need someone to tell me that i'm not good enough for what i want. I never want anyone telling me how to live my life, or tell me what to do or what makes me happy. I think for the first time this year, i;ve found someone that just fits me. I think i realized that as soon as you find a friend you don't have to try to keep, well those are the true ones. Jessica never left me , but she was there at the right time that i needed her. Imran was there when i needed someone the most, and it always means so much that he cares about me that much. I want to be someone that people really respect , and when they look at me.. i want them to think "wow, shes been through it all." I think in some sense people do look at me, and they see that i know what is going on. Ive been through hell and back already, and it had taught me almost everything i know now. everything that i have been through, its taught me so much about myself. I have been through all the drama. it pisses me off how Karley thinks she can act like she's the only one that has been through a tough time . wtf ? yeah you are definitely the only person that has been left out, or ditched, or lied to. Don't even think of coming up to me and telling me what i have and havent been through. I know what its like to be ditched and hated and ganged up on and lied to over and over. Dont tell me that i dont understand, yeah , your right, some shit i havent been through yet. some things i really dont understand . but talk to me first , and see what i do undertsand, and then you can judge me , and tell me what youve been through . bothers me when people think that just becuase they have relitave power they can treat others like shit. Ashley , just becuase you scare people does not mean that you can talk shit about everyone undert he sun. Bella, just because you have had sex doesnt mean that you can disinegrate people until they have to go to counselling . Carly , just becuase people cant use words like you doenst mean your automatially smarter than they are. Gina, just cuz we all dont break into houses doesnt make us pussys , it makes us less trashy . i need a cigarette . im going to see if mom's awake . :] hotels and heroine. xxnight.

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