• i am writing a three part thing on here about me, and me getting to myself now, swan if your reading this, i want to discuss this all with you, but i will skim through for now a lot has happend to me over my high school career, i have changed a lot, grown a lot, and i just wnat to go over a bit i started high school, a really good athlete, a good student, a christian, and well quiet adn sorta normal to those who did not know me really well, but due to my changes, me expressing my internal thoughts and discovering what i like and dont like, well i gained a interest ing music, huge one, and that music helped me grow to new thoughts, i became far more interested in counter culture, art, dropping my dreams of cars and designing them and turned that in wanting to play guitar , but more then that, more like contributhing guitar to a musical project or band, something that meant someing more, and well that started it, and that took me out of sports, oh well, i hate most coaches anyway, like school sport ones, i disagree with most, , adn well shcool seemed to matter to me much less when i started learning more from observing people and listening to there stories then what my power hungry biased teachers tryied to teach, some were not like that, but most are, i dont know why so many people trusted me, but people trust me with there life story, and i try to help them all the time with there internal and external struggles, there are friends now i try to help, i care for most people really and i want to help, i enjoy to help them, i also accept most people, cause we are all equal and we all fuck up, i just am not a fan of really prideful people, but they dont even bug me that much, idk, i think everyone deserves a chance, no matter what, we are all equal, and my image started to change, i seem to have turned to what i idolize. the long hair , dark clothed counter culture, and music people and stuff like that, i sorta changed to what i always wanted to look like, i really acutally dont even dress 100% like i want to now, but i am satified, well and changing schools did a lot of me too, cause i learned wht it was to miss something really bad, so bad it hurt for a long time, my old life was good, but i kiss it away easy now, i did though get the chance to start over and become new, and well i guess that is also what caused so much change, and dude to the people i started hanging out with i grew interests in art, mroe then before, and learned a lot, people put a huge effect on my life, i like to talk a little about it in my next part, mostly about one person,but want to end this one with how religion changed, sorta came with the counter culture interest, and how much what i believed started getting questioned, and then i said fuck it i am not going to lie to myself, i dont believe it enough anymore to hold the status, and opened me to new ideas

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