• Don't we often interpret our testing as a measure of our sins? "What have I done to deserve this?" we say, "What have I done?" And our question sounds humble, so penitent, but at its root is the grasping, overweening pride of life. We suppose that what befalls us is somehow measured out according to what we deserve; it is our responsibility, and therefore within the domain of our will, and our power, and our so-called willpower. But no, says the Apostle, we are tested according to our strength. And who among us is the author and creator of his own strength? We can no more BE strong than we can BE happy, though people are continually advising us to do both. No, we are weak and strong as God has decided, and insofar as we are weak or strong, God allows us to be tested. Isn't there a certain liberation in looking at the matter this way? And isn't there also a certain terror? A certain blind, helpless terror? For if this is how things stand, the strong are, of all men and woman, the most miserable.

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