• SO MUCH HAS CHANGED . I AM NOT EVEN JOKING . no carly . no mike . PLEASE FINISH LATERRRRRRRRRRRRR :D imran , fone. =] 4.11 .... back . decided to finish this, or at least think about what i was about to write. i think its important to know who poeple are. i think its good to know what peoples real intention's are. who are the good people? and who are the bad ones? iw as talking to nathan, jessica, and luke about fake and horrible people. 3 times in one day where the fake and horrible have ruined other's days. Nathan lost his one good friend becuase ashley wanted him too bad? she decided to interfere with the trust and love they had.. of course nathan is upset, and im happy that he decided to talk to me about it. i feel horrible, but the only thing i could do was tell nathan : she's not a good person. & all i could tell him was what she was really trying to do. Nathan understood; which is good. I think he knows now that i was trying to help him; not talk shit about another person. He knows now that ashley was really trying to do. i think he can be happier if he just gets Ashley out of his life.. i hope he does. Nathan is a great guy. He's not just one thing. Hes funny, he's guyish, hes so sweet, smart , adorable, and a great friend. He's more than what meets the eye, and it sucks that bitches like Ashley decided to take advatage of that, and ruin his friendships with others. Jessica. She's so amazing. she has never done anything wrong to anyone else. Not saying that shes a perfect person, but i dont think she deserves to be treated or called anything bad. she is a good friend, so when she IMed me with waht was happening with kristen , i was mad. Kristen and Jess got in a fight about god knows what. I guess it was one of those things that got outof hand over time. Eventually , Kristen got me involved in the convo, Jess sent it to me, and i Imed Kristen. Im not one to get so fucking mad and bitch people out and call them horrible names, no .. i just wanted to talk to her. She said she was sorry, and of course im going to accept it.. It's not like i dont love Kristen.. but i can't believe that she would bring my personal life into that . I guess there's not much you can do with Lost friendships, or lost hope. What are you supposed to do when you have just lost everything with another person? i guess you can just wait, and try again when you are both ina different place; but for the present day ... you have to deal with it.. and forget what you had and keep going. It's hard to lose someone you could talk to. Regardless if you have been friends with the person for 5 years, or just met them 2 weeks ago. a person can affect your life in the matter of minutes, and you can lose them in the matter of seconds. Luke. Such a good guy . I didnt ever get to spend much time with him in school, even last year, he was never around me, and this year too. That doesnt mean we arent friends. Luke and I can talk about almost everything. Silences on the fone are never really awkward, and he can always talk to me about what he wants; which makes me happy. Luke is far from ugly; hes so smart; and hes so fucking sweet . Honestly, no girl would ever attack Luke for being himself. Hes a kickass guy. Guys on the other hand , they like to give him a hard time. It sucks becuase hes a strong guy, but everyone has their breaking point. taekwondodude76: you know....everyonce in a while... youll meet some extrodinary person. a person who can make you realize whats important when ur depressed, a person who you can shine light on your darkest thoughts, a person who can change the way you think. i think ive found that in you leslie taekwondodude76: im really glad ur there for me ...Its nice to hear once and a while. CHANGE? no carly, no mike, yeah .. a lot has changed. I guess i was just reading over what i had written a little less than a year ago.. and so much has changed. I never thought that i would be smoking and drinking and cutting. Its hard to think about how life was before, and how it is now. Its hard to think that a week can change your life, let alone 4 years. Thats what scares me. I just want to lat down. I just want to sleep through all the pain. I just want all the bad people to vanish. I just wish i could see how it's going to go. ever so sweet. the early november.

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