• i think he might know that i love him or maybe not... he is pretty stupid and a pretty big asshole but i think he just uses that so he doesn't have to face the truth... I'm usually not like this with boys i usually dont care but after that summer he moved away i could never get him out of my head then he moved back... and dated my best friend and it didnt help that he lives next door and they would always come over ...i envied her i still do sometimes... i think i secretly hate her... but i dont understand does he know? does he want to know? does he want to be with me? or does he just use me? is he scared that we might be like we used to? or is he scared it will fail? ive been on this rollarcoaster for the past 3 years should i just face it ...either throw up or stop riding it

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