• This is where i said i've had enough . no one should ever feel the way i feel right now. A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises And I don't believe that I'm getting any better. Any better. basically describes a lot of shit going on right now . its sucky that everything has to change so quickly . it makes life a lot harder to live , and makes friends a lot harder to keep . growing up changes people in so many ways , it changes good people to bad , and forces them to make bad choices . take it from me, i know what it means to make a bad choice . Then again , i know all the choices i make arent bad. So many people have changed right in front of my face , and its shocking . Friends get in so many fights over stupid things and how much eachother have changed, but i have come to learn that you have to change, you have to become a new person, becuase if you don't , you dont learn from all the mistakes you make , you don't move on from the horrible things that happen to you, and you don't move on from the people that hurt you. Don't change too much, but dont stay the same. You have to let life take its way with you, you have to get in trouble , and lose friends to find out who you really are. Sometimes you wonder why you do things, or who you are becoming. Your a teenager, and things are going to be so overwhelming, it becomes normal. The number one thing i know how to handle is being so stressed out you dont even know what to do with yourself. Its so easy to understand whats going on, yet it so difficult to understand why things are happening the way they are. Its hard to lose your friends, or boys you care about , or boys you knew you couldve had something with. It hurts to let people go, never knowing where it could've led. You have to learn lessons in life , and i think middle school is a time to become who you are, and shape the person you want to be for the rest of your life. When you lose someone, you feel like you lose a little part of you. You miss the way they talk to you , you miss the way you could talk to them , you miss the way they would just walk with you in the summer, you miss the way they would chill at your house until thier parents miss them. Its hard to know that you lost the old person that you loves so much, but its even harder to know that you lost someone who is still there, who is still so wonderfully there, and you just dont have them anymore. It depends who you are, but i know how i am. and i hate being left out of things, but i know i hate being left out when it comes to people that make me happy. I sometimes have to stop myself becuase i know that these people dont like me as much as i like them . which is embarresing for me. I hate people like that , so i dont want to become one of them . Knowing that your not happy is one of the hardest things. Knowing that you've changed so much that you dont even know who you were a year ago is scary. Its all about growing up , and growing out of our old skin. You have to try new things, and meet new people, becuase if you dont , you never know who you couldve been , you never know who you might turn out to be. Everyone has a point in their life where they are in so much trouble and stress that its hard to go on with the day. Its a part of growing up, its part of your character to look back and think , " wow, that was a lapse of judgement." You dont want to be someone you hate, you dont want to be someone your not. You need to try and be who you are, even if you know you've changed a little. I think i learned this a while ago . I think i know who i am, but a lot of times i'm not her. I pretend to be someone i'm not, and yeah it annoys me, but then i think , isnt that girl who i think i am part of me too ? Yeah , she is, you have many sides to you. You have to adapt who you and and how you act when your around certain people , its your real friends that you can be anyone around, and thats how you find the people who truley matter. I was walking today, and Imran said, Leslie, in 4 years, you dont have to talk to these people ever again. Its true. 4 years. 4 more, and im alone. You will be a whole new person. You think you changed in 1 year in middle school? Try high school . its scary, But you want to test who will be there for you . You want to have all those experiences. You have to . cry your eyes out. scream your lungs out. run as fast as you can. laugh until you cant talk. love like you've never been hurt. & look back and say. " I did what i wanted, and it made me happy. " never regret what you do. You can't practice life, Your living it.

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