• Today has had to be one of the worst days of this whole year. For the most part everything has been good and cheery and fun, and then today came. This may sound really pathetic but I started to like this guy. and oh what the hell i'll say his name. I don't care. I started to like this guy named Dewey. I saw him at a basketball game a few weeks ago when i first realized i thought he was cute but didn't think much about it. And then just a few days ago i went to a track meet and saw him. It made me realized how much i like him. The only interaction we've ever had was when we used to play basketball at the elementary school like 4 years ago. Like he remembers that, he probably doesn't even remember me. He probably didn't even know who i was. Anyways, he's liked this girl named brittany. And everytime I see Dewey, he's with her. I went to a baseball game today and i saw his car, so i knew he was there. and then i saw her. again. now i'm sure she's a really nice person, and i have nothing against her whatsoever, but it just really hurts. I really wish that just for once, someone who i liked, liked me back or at least knew who i was. the thing is i passed by him and brittany in the parking lot and he barely even glanced at me. but i know for that one second i was in his mind. i just wish for once in my life i didn't get the guy who's a lying, cheating, relationship wrecking whore. When it comes to guys, i get nothing. All i want is to be happy for once. I'm so sick and tired of trying to please other people constantly. I'm always wanting to make THEM happy and never ever thinking about myself. and i'm sick of it. i'm sick of always holding my feelings in and never being able to tell anyone about them, because i think that they don't care. I'm just tired of life. I wish mine was better. I wish I was prettier. I wish I wasn't so shy. I wish a lot of things in my life were different but i guess i'm going to try and be optimistic and be grateful for what i do have. That's all for now. Hopefully things will get better from here and i will have happier entries to come. Laura

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