part 11

  • December 11, 2006 Hopefully Dad and I are going to go driving tonight. Also, hopefully I won’t come back in a state of complete demoralization. He seems okay, though, not too tired. It’s when he’s tired that I have to worry. Then he’s the Driving Nazi and freaking impossible to please. At school today, all the teachers went to meetings and the subs stopped showing up for some reason. Mr. Kim had time to teach us the lesson before running to his math thing, because he knew his sub wasn’t coming. We got herded down to the cafeteria, which I have not set foot into in about a year. It wasn’t that bad, actually. I got Mr. Drake’s one review question done. It actually wasn’t that hard. The sub showed up in Wilson’s class, and she was actually good. She reminded me of Mrs. Griffenhagen from Tappan. She was great and she seemed like she actually had experience. We were hoping that that ninety-year-old dude would come by, because he lets you do whatever you want. I owe a lot to that guy, like the reasons I love Latin instead of hate it these days. We watched the movie version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Strangely enough, it wasn’t at all like the book. It had too many women. There are no women in the book. We watched a movie in Speech. Mr. Fox is obsessed with subliminal advertising. It ripped on MTV a lot, saying that it was one huge commercial. They’ve actually got a point there. Also, teenagers are the main consumers these days, so that was a huge component of the movie. Mr. Fox stopped the movie a lot to explain about corporations and such, and how we have free press, but corporate controlled press. It was interesting, so I can’t wait to see the end of it. In an amazing stroke of luck, Amy found it in her heart to forgive Paul today. I couldn’t be happier. I gave them some space and talked to Cam and Anne of St. Francis a bit. It’s so good that they’re not one of those disgusting couples that you can’t talk to because they’re so wrapped up in each other. Well, technically they are, but they have separate personalities and they really do complement each other nicely. I’m so glad I introduced them. I’m probably going to be going to the Tappan concert with Cam on Wednesday, to see all of our hard work in practice club go to good use. Maybe later on we’ll go see Eragon together, because we both read that book together. It’s also good that Anne is cool with me spending time with Cam. She once said to me, “If you helped us get together, then how could you guys be that way?” I ran it by her tentatively because I went through hell with Amy and Alex, so now I know how girls can be about their boyfriends. Lucky for me Anne isn’t the jealous type. Amy accidentally scratched me today during lunch. She was trying to do that thing (which I thought died) where she tries to pull out my ponytail. It kind of annoys me, to tell the truth. Anyway, when I pulled away, her nail got my neck and made this monster lash. Well, more puffy than monster. I hated to do it, but in Earth Science I bared my neck toward the Walrus and said, “Is my neck messed up?” “No, it’s not,” he said kindly, looking at it. “There’s just a mark on it, a little.” Good to know. Of course, then I had to hear about how I got a hickey from my “secret boyfriend” for awhile. This is the kind of thing that lets me know we’re totally over each other. It’s great, really, because we’re back to being friends again. I can laugh at his jokes and we can talk again. Sometimes it seems like what happened with us was a dream or something, a passing thing nobody remembers. We talked about normal things today. He told me about how he’s going to be sixteen in exactly two months. “You’re so lucky, you’re going to be sixteen,” I said. “Why? What’re you going to be?” he asked. “I was fifteen last September,” I informed him. “I’m the second youngest in the class.” “Who’s younger than you?” “Karen Dowling,” I said, doubting that the Walrus would know her. “It’s me, Douda, then Karen.” When things seem normal with us, it makes me think. Will we ever have to formally break up? Or will it be just a given? I’m fairly certain he’s not after me anymore, and I know I don’t like him like I did. In hindsight, it’s actually really strange that things worked out this way. We always thought that it would be the Walrus and I, Amy and Paul, and Fuzz (and someone- he hasn’t had much luck). Strange days. Band was pretty normal, or as normal as band ever is on any given day. We kept quiet and didn’t kill anything. We’ve really got our music down these days. Well, this year has better music. Last year it was the dreaded “A Movement For Rosa”. It was literally about a five or six minute piece. It wasn’t so great for us punk freshmen down at the end. I screwed up a lot on that song. Plus I dropped my mute. Ashley said today, “I think that if one person drops their mute, then we all should. That would be funny to hear one mute then, like, twelve.” We laughed. Once again, I love my chair. I think Amy might call me out on something, though. So, I was leaving band and was coincidentally behind Luis. I was sort of watching him and remembering everything, and I walked straight past Amy. Didn’t even see her. Now, with any other person (except maybe Michael) I wouldn’t be worried, but Amy knows me very well. It’ll be a miracle if she didn’t see that. Troy is turning out to be a really long movie. I love it when Mr. Julius yells out if the mythology is wrong. It’s hilarious. Just out of the blue he’ll shout, “That’s wrong, you guys! That never happened.” We did vocabulary today, stuff that some author used in some book. Mr. Julius was right. I do have more vocabulary than I think I do. I’m going to be great at Latin 3 once I’m done with Latin 2. This is a great year for Latin. Now I think I’m going to go bug Dad about driving, since pretty much all my homework is done. Peace out. December 12, 2006 No practice club today, unfortunately. The Tappan concert is tomorrow, so I think they might be having a rehearsal today or something. Either way, we didn’t go today. I’ve got to remember to get that sheet from Mrs. Caudle that puts the thing under volunteer hours. Mrs. Caudle knows our family, so she should do that for me. I’m actually really enjoying doing something with Cam again. I’ve been thinking, I think I actually really missed him. It’s like I’m remembering all the stuff we did. “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves,” which Sting says in “Fields of Gold”. So, is tenth grade our west wind? I’m sorry I ever gave him up and was a prick with a chip on my shoulder. I realized a little while ago, I love Cam more than all my friends. He was my best friend all through middle school, and that counts for something. Plus, I’m not really allowed to ditch him. That’s a bit of a long story, but I’m his friend forever now. Interims came today. They’re not bad this time around. When I saw the dull brown envelope, panic seized me. I’ve been a little worried about my Speech grade, so I was kind of panicked about the grades coming. However, I probably shouldn’t have worried. Course Teacher Mark Geometry 1 Kim, N A Earth Science 1 Drake B Yeah, baby, I thought, after I ripped the envelope open. Plus, I don’t even have that grade in Earth Science anymore. It’s more like a B+ these days. Easy class, yet actually a class because it’s Mr. Drake. I know I’m probably going to do better in Chemistry because I had Mr. Drake. He’s a good guy. Plus, he loves me. Okay, this is creepy. Deskins might try to hurt Cam tomorrow. You see, his ex, Kara, is totally out to get him these days. She started dating Deskins (go figure) and she keeps telling him to tell Cam all this bad stuff and to slap him and stuff. Apparently, he’s doing it again for her. I’m probably going to get there early tomorrow and stand with them. No one hurts either of them. I’m not scared of Deskins anymore. It’s not because I have Michael, either. Maybe I’m just an idiot, but he’s not worth it. To speak the truth, I’m not afraid of people, just stupid stuff like phones and public speaking and spiders and stuff like that. Michael’s told me a million times I should be scared, because he’s the kind of guy who would rape someone, but I’m not. I’m just freaking pissed off. No one messes with my friends. Not Amy, not Cam, not Anne, not ANYONE. I’ve got to do some thinking about this. ‘Bye. December 13, 2006 It’s Anne’s birthday today. She’s fifteen. I would have gotten her a present, but she’s having a party this Saturday, so I’ll just give her something then. I don’t want to look like a bad friend, right? It was lucky for us that nothing happened with Deskins today. That probably would have been Anne’s worst birthday if he had tried something. Band was totally hilarious today. It started with Blake and Ashley, like usual. Blake was rehearsing his solo with the band and we would cheer silently. Unfortunately, he could never hear us. Thus, us lower trumpets came up with a grand idea. Ashley took out some paper and a highlighter and wrote “GO BLAKE!!!” on the paper with hearts and happy faces. When the time came for him to play, Ashley whispered, “Hey, Blake!” Blake turned around and saw the sign and cracked up. Screwed his solo, by the way. Zach jumped on the bandwagon and put “YOU CAN DO IT!!” on another piece of paper. We waved the signs and Blake laughed so hard he was physically incapable of playing his solo. Roberts didn’t figure out what was going on, really. He just kind of frowned in our general direction. Next, Mr. Roberts announced an accelerando at a part of “Gypsy Dance”. He told us to “mark it in”. I handed the pencil to Ashley for our obnoxious markings. “What should I draw?” she asked. “Draw a little guy running,” I suggested. She started to do that. Unfortunately, it came out looking like a Nazi swastika. For the rest of band, I couldn’t look at that part because I would start laughing really hard. Zach really didn’t help matters. He’s actually funny when he wants to be. We talked about hiring his brother Nick to hold signs up while Blake was doing his solo, since he’s in Varsity Band. The rest of the day was fine. I’m going to be going to the Tappan concert tonight. We’re picking up Cam in about an hour. I’m a little worried about this, because Cam and Dad have never hit it off really well. Well, the last time he saw Cam was when he was a fifteen-year-old idiot and now he’s at least a little better. Maybe he’ll be on his best behavior. Hopefully it’ll be better this time around. ‘Bye. December 15, 2006 Exactly one year ago, there was snow falling and we were out of school. It was a Thursday and a cold one. Our concert was past already. Also, I was definitely not at my happiest. I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year. A lot has happened, hasn’t it? We’re finally done with those damn analytical essays. I redid mine with Paul’s suggestions, and I owe that guy a lot. He really knows how to write a kickass paper. I was so stressed out yesterday. I had so much homework from everyone, and I actually decided to do it. Mr. Drake’s computer-generated assignment was the biggest pain the ass. Hurley copied me. Again. I wouldn’t have let him, but he did puppy dog eyes at me during Mr. Wilson’s Agree/Disagree (he asks a question, we move according to how we feel). Why the hell can’t I resist that? I had to grin and hand over the assignment. I have more than 95% in Geometry. I literally can’t believe it. It’s really a shame no one believed that I was good at Geometry, because then I would be in Mr. Vogel’s class. However, I think I might have gotten the better deal. Also, I know it’s weird, but I think I was meant to meet Garrett. That wouldn’t have happened if I had been switched into first hour. I don’t know why I was meant to meet him yet, but I’m sure I’ll find out this year. Maybe just to have a great friend. We’ll know soon, I suppose. Another good thing about the way things worked out is Wyatt and I are fairly close now. I can make him laugh now. Something gross happened yesterday, though. He has this big fur coat thing that he wears a lot and it holds a lot of stuff. Yesterday, he pulled out coffee creamer and took a sip of it. I was totally grossed out and I told him so. “It tastes good,” he argued. I scoffed. “That’s so gross.” We argued about it for a few minutes and he said, “You should really try it. It tastes good.” “I don’t have any to try!” Wyatt grinned and offered his. Drawing a deep breath, I accepted it. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I muttered. I sipped with some trepidation. There was a nuclear explosion inside my mouth. It tasted like liquified Cocoa Puffs pumped full of about fifty grams of sugar. My saliva glands went nuts. I had to go get a drink, because it was almost the most sugary thing I’ve ever had the displeasure to drink. I got yelled at in band AGAIN yesterday. Once again, I don’t know what I did. Mr. Roberts was saying something, and I glanced up the row. “Claire,” he started angrily. “You have to stop doing that. You’re communicating over there, and you need to be communicating up here.” I nodded. What the hell did I do this time? NOTHING. I wasn’t talking! However, I’ve found that I don’t have the guts to yell, “What did I do?” I know that if I did, he would look around like I was stupid and say, “What did Claire do, everyone?” I don’t feel like being publicly embarrassed, but it’s not my fault that I honestly don’t know! Maybe he thought I wasn’t taking him seriously or something? I’m not the talkative one. Latin was the best part of both my days. Yesterday Mr. Julius was going through a bunch of mythology. Some of it is like a bad episode of Jerry Springer or something. People keep raping their daughters and having kids that way, or baking their children in pies (which had us cracking up since a ton of people in this family had done the same thing- “It’s a long family tradition,” Mr. Julius had joked). Some of it is really interesting, though. I’m so glad I’m in that class. I’m glad I did so bad in Spanish. Today was also pretty good. We finished the passage that we’ve been attempting to translate for about a month now. It was about this soldier that turns into a werewolf. The guy telling the story is trying to visit his girlfriend, and his soldier friend turns into a werewolf after depositing his clothes on the ground. “’Then I saw a wondrous thing,’” Mr. Julius translated in a generic voice. “’All of my soldier’s clothes had been discarded and were laying near the road.’” “He thinks that’s a wondrous thing?” I asked. The class laughed. After the passage was done, Garrett and I played dreidel for the rest of class. He beat me. I don’t know how. He beats me at everything. We sat on the floor across from each other and when one of us would spin, the other would chant, “Shin! Shin!” which means one is subtracted from your score. The person who spun would shout, “Gimel! Gimel!” which means one is added. It was a lot of fun. If someone had looked in, it would have looked bizarre, a junior and a sophomore screaming foreign words in each other’s faces while hitting the floor. I kind of think that Toner was jealous, though, because he kept trying to distract us and draw attention to himself. He even threw his shoe at us at one point. Who knows why. He may only be a month younger than me, but he’s such a freshman sometimes. If he was jealous, then it was because he wanted Garrett to play with him or he likes me. Probably a little of both. He’s got to feel left out sometimes, because Garrett and I talk a lot in Latin, and Garrett thinks Toner’s annoying, even though Toner looks up to him. Poor guy. I like him as a person, but I’ve always had high tolerance because there’s no one in this world more annoying than David. Also after the passage, we were trying to come up with a word for “werewolf”, because the one in the book literally means “pelt-shifter”. We thought it would be something like “man of the wolf”. We asked Mr. Julius what “man of the wolf” would be. “You would say that as vir lupi,” Mr. Julius answered us. Garrett laughed. “We’re loopy!” he joked. I laughed at that pretty hard. That was hilarious. Latin is so much fun sometimes. Okay, it’s Friday, so I’m going to go relax or something. December 16, 2006 I just got back from Anne’s birthday party. Man, that was fun. It was so good to hang out with those guys again. I haven’t seen Magen in forever, Anne and I hang out, and I’ve missed Cam a lot. We watched a couple movies, ate, watched some TV shows, and played GameCube. Strangely enough, it was awesome just to let go and act a little under my age like I used to. During Super Smash Bros. Melee, I could openly make fun of Cam with no one getting mad and still joke around. One time, I tried to shout, “My hammer!” (because the game has these sledgehammers you can blow people away with), only it came out, “Mimer!” for reasons unknown. Cam beat me at Super Smash Bros. every time. He’s got what Michael has. He can play one video game twice and then kick your ass on it. He was Samus and I was Young Link. Man, he’s good. I had to concede defeat. It was so much fun, more fun than I’ve had for a long time. You know, I’m thinking about starting to invite those guys over on weekends for video games. In a way, I miss how things used to be. I wish I could just go back and live a day in my old life, on a day like I just had today. The day kind of started out bad. Mom woke me up at eight-thirty and Michael wanted to leave at eight-forty-five for the Salvation Army (Key Club thing- not really my choice). I ended up getting left behind because I had to take a shower. I got pissed off at Michael and Dad got pissed off at me. I ended up going and working for an hour and a half, anyway. It was... tiring. Michael was beat. After all, he had been working for about four hours. After that we went to the basketball game, Michigan versus Northern Illinois. We won. I spent most of the first half scanning the seats around us and above us, because I knew that Anne and Cam were going. Finally, at four minutes to go in the first half, I spotted them in the nosebleed section. I debated going to go see them at half-time or telling Dad I needed to go to the bathroom and just coming back some time later. Finally, one side won. “Hey Dad?” I asked. “I’m going to go to the bathroom real fast, okay?” He nodded and said, “Okay.” I set off immediately to Section 35, going quickly. I had to cross about half the court, but I got there. They were surprised to see me, but glad to see me. I sat on the deserted seats behind them and talked until the rest of the first half ended, then said that I should be getting back to Dad. We’re going to go see a movie that I needed to see for extra credit, maybe after break. Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that we’re all friends again? Cam and Anne hooking up did more than I could possibly imagine. Getting Cam back is the best part of this whole deal. Tonight, at the party, it was like old days. Seriously. During one of the movies, he was leaning against me like he used to do. It wasn’t a romantic thing or anything, but we used to do that all the time at his house. Once again, Cam is back to being like my favorite brother or something. Plus, I’m not jealous at all of them. I was jealous at the beginning of ninth grade when Amy used to flirt with Cam (because I was really protective of him), but now I’m just happy for them. Anne is the ONLY girl I would want Cam to go out with. I want them to get married. Seriously. Then I can be maid of honor and everything. Anne says I’m the closest “friend of the couple”. We’ve discussed them getting married a few times. She wants it a lot, and Cam asked her if she would think about it in about ten to fifteen years. That sounds just like Cam. I can just picture that wedding. Heck, I want it too. I love those guys. Well, I might go watch TV or talk to people, since it’s Saturday night. December 17, 2006 Sunday night here on the home front. I’m listening to David’s iPod. It’s “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart. Again, I wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but I love that song. Today wasn’t as boring as most Sundays are. I hung out and did some of Drake’s homework. We have a test on Tuesday. Also, we went driving today. It started with David. He wanted a sandwich, so he made me and Dad go down to bring him one. Dad wasn’t going to do it, but he knows I love to drive, so he relented. It turned into a longer drive, since I need “experience”. Ha. I kick ass right now, as arrogant as that sounds. I got him to take me past Huron and we were at the intersection that leads up to Geddes Road. We went through that intersection and up the country road. I’ve never driven on that road. The next step was to get Dad to let me drive up Earhart Road. I’m not going to mention why, but there was a street I needed to see. Greenhills Drive. I just needed to see where it was, for my own purposes. I’m not going to say why, because I’ll know and that’s all that matters. Crap, I have rehearsal tomorrow night. According to Mr. Roberts, we have to be there promptly at seven-fifteen, and have to be ready to start at seven-thirty. These are the kind of things that happen when Mr. Roberts gets stressed out of his mind. He starts jumping on everyone and everything. That may explain why he’s been jumping on us lately. Or we could be just stupid. My Geometry homework is not done. I’m debating whether I’m going to do it or not. I don’t want a Last Night Cram, like I usually do. You see, I hate to say it, but Mr. Kim’s homework is a tad optional. You just have to do it by the time the packet is turned in. Therefore, I slack a little and end up doing it all the night before the packet is due, which sucks. Michael says that’s not good, anyway. It doesn’t help you learn. You know, Michael is starting to sound a lot like Mr. Julius lately. Once again, we started laughing in church today. It started with the Prayers of the Faithful. After the person, persons, place or idea is prayed for, the congregation says, “Lord, hear our prayer.” Well, there was this guy a couple rows behind us who was about a syllable or two behind everyone else and he had a really, really deep voice, so it sounded like someone was speaking with a dub machine. Also, it sounded like he was drawing it out. I suppressed my laugh for a long time, then a made a fatal mistake. I looked at Michael. One look at his face and I lost it. You know, I was listening to “Death Valley Queen”, and I now I know what that song reminds me of. It reminds me of that stupid fight between Amy and the Walrus. It’s about this guy that’s after this girl who thinks he’s kind of an idiot and acts all high and mighty around him. However, he still loves her and he’s trying to get over it. I guess it was the line, “I’d do you no wrong though no stranger to sin.” Also, how mad he was, “Death Valley Queen, go marry your king, or an old maid you’ll end up for certain.” He actually tried to get Fuzz and me to stop hanging out with her for awhile after the infamous St. Patty’s Day Blowup. They patched it up okay (with our help, of course) but it’s always been rocky with them. On that note, I think I’m out. December 18, 2006 I’m just killing time until rehearsal starts. Hey, I actually spelled that right today! Mr. Roberts says we have to be there at a prompt time, so that means that we’re probably going to be there at a prompt time. I asked Zach today, “What would he do if you just skipped rehearsal?” Zach said, “He would be so mad. You would not be allowed to go to the concert.” Oi. I think I’ll go. Thanks, Zach. I got 106/108 on our Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde test that we got back today. According to Nick’s calculator, that’s 98%. Cool. I’ll take that. I have an insanely good grade in that class. Of course, I’m not in Intensive, but still, a really awesome grade. Now I just have to do that well on Shakespeare, too. Well, I have to say, A Midsummer Night’s Dream isn’t as hard as Romeo and Juliet was. I wanted to bump off Romeo and Juliet off myself by the second act. Quite frankly, I was sick of hearing about how sad it was that they could never be together because the Montagues and the Capulets hate each other’s guts. Whatever. They got theirs, and now we get to read the comedy. I should be studying for my Earth Science test, but I’m not sure I want to. I can hear it now, everyone telling me I could get an A instead of a B if I just hit the books every once in awhile. I know it’s going to sound arrogant, but I don’t need to study. Once I look at the question, I can usually piece together the answer. I know the material once I can look at the question. Band was your basic band period. You know, we mess around a lot. I think Mr. Roberts has given up. I’m ending this part after rehearsal, just for the record. We had a good rehearsal. We had to practice getting onstage and offstage. It was like middle school. Zach was directing us into our seats when we were getting offstage, so now I’m going to be calling him Captain Zach. I should have started that when he was my squad leader. Matt dropped his mute and naturally everyone looked to me and said, “Claire!” “It wasn’t me,” was the first thing I said after I heard the clonk. “Wait, it wasn’t Claire?” I heard Caleb ask. If I drop it this year, then it’ll be three years in a row. I can’t drop it. I’ll look terrible and Mr. Roberts will kill me. Although it sucks, we have three chances to drop it. I just don’t trust it anymore. I hold it in with my hands. Latin was decently entertaining, like usual. I told Mr. Julius that I voted for a class trip to Schrammberg, Germany, because Garrett said that he wanted to claim it as his city. We told him he should just go claim Garret, Ohio, because that’s closer. We discussed the idea of Michael curing cancer all by himself. I could see it, even though he says he wants to go into physics. Then we talked about finding Michael a girlfriend. Great period. Garrett is hilarious. He’s just so... perfect. He’s the kind of guy I want to marry someday. Though I wouldn’t tell him that. For once, I did my Geometry homework, just because we’re about due to get an assignment collected. It wasn’t hard. You just have to know how all the rectangles and parallelograms work. Not hard stuff. Just set some equations equal to each other and you get your answer. Geometry is my best friend. Now, I think I should go do something productive. Peace. December 20, 2006 Only two more days of school, then break. I guess I’m happy with that, at least for now. Watch me start complaining later on, about the last week of December to the first week of January. That’s when I’m going to be bored. But, tomorrow’s the fateful twenty-first of December. I have to make it through the memories of tomorrow before I can start break. I was really busy yesterday. I didn’t have any time, almost. I went to practice club (those seventh graders are damn funny) right after school. I was working with two seventh graders on their Solo and Ensemble piece. They had real names, but I ended up calling the guy Bubba and the girl Sarge. The girl told me that Bubba would probably stick. I got Bubba from Mr. Julius, actually. At the beginning of the year, to discourage us from telling him to call us anything weird, he said that he would call us whatever we told him for the whole year. He told a funny story where one guy was being funny and told him to call him Bubba, so Mr. Julius called him Bubba for a whole year. This guy told me to call him Bob. “Be careful,” I warned him. “I’ll probably call you that.” Sarge laughed. Remembering the Mr. Julius story, I had a brainwave. “I’m going to call you Bubba,” I declared. They found that hilarious. Sarge came from Bubba himself. They asked what they should call me. “You may call me ‘Captain’,” I said. They laughed. Therefore, I was Captain and Bubba called the girl Sarge. After that, in the interest of getting my family Christmas presents, I walked the dog and wrapped about a million presents for money. Once that was done (and it wasn’t a short assignment), I had to do Mr. Drake’s homework. That was a real bitch. I also had to make cookies for the concert, the infamous Winter Concert. Then I had to go to that. The concert was actually okay. The curse is broken, anyway. The Curse of the Mute-Dropping. “Hey, Claire!” Blake whispered at me while we were going offstage. “Congratulations! You made it through a whole concert without dropping anything!” That’s the funniest to Blake and me, because I did it in eighth grade, too. A mute was dropped, but it wasn’t me. It was the girl right in front of me. I heard the clank and immediately thought, “Wait, was that me?” I held my mute in with my hands this concert. I made my peace with the dress, because I ended up looking pretty damn good in it. Even Cam said today, “I know you hate that dress, but you looked really pretty last night.” I’m so glad Anne’s cool with that kind of thing. Cam’s like my brother, so he’s allowed to say stuff like that without meaning anything. I honestly think I blew Toner away, as arrogant as that sounds. He couldn’t even look at me. He just stared at the ground. When Amy asked him what he thought of me in a dress, he focused on the ground and muttered, “I have no idea.” It was really pretty funny. Ashley and I passed judgment on all the guys, with Who Can Pull Off The Tux. We decided that Caleb can pull it off the best, and the really short freshman bass clarinet player pulls it off the worst, followed closely by the tubas. I agreed with that one just for kicks, but they actually looked okay. Cam was the most entertaining in the tux. He actually looked great in it, he’s just a little skinny to pull it off well. Amy retied my bow, because apparently it looked like crap (hey, I had to do it no-looker). We walked out of the band storage room together and I thought I saw Luis look at me, like, “Wow,” or something. It reminded me of that country song Michael and I sometimes hear on 106.7 (The Fox), that goes like, “How d’you like me now?!” The guy has some repressed anger about this girl that shot him down and he’s mocking her from his song. He knows somehow that her life didn’t turn out that great, so he’s saying, “Ha! Look at how crappy your life is, and look what a wonderful life I’m having without you!” It makes us laugh a lot, but it honestly reminded me of that. ‘Tis the season to wish evil things on tuba players. Now, Mr. Roberts is gone for awhile to Chicago for some conductor’s clinic. Luckily for us, he took MacArthur with him. Hence, band was great today, and we talked more than we have since last year, when Mr. Roberts wasn’t stressed out and jumping on everyone. The sub was actually a woman whose son I used to know in about third grade. She remembered me. “Oh, yeah, Claire’s very memorable,” Jessica put in when I asked the sub. Well, back then I didn’t come across as nearly as mischievous as I do now. Latin was the second-best. Mr. Julius has given up teaching us anything new before the break, so he just showed a movie. It was this thing called Reduced Shakespeare. They pretty much do all of Shakespeare’s works in exactly ninety minutes. “Listen for Latin phrases and we can pretend that it’s relevant,” Mr. Julius said. The movie was really funny. The one with Romeo and Juliet was the best. The scene where Romeo slays Tybalt is about thirty seconds long. They just talk for twenty seconds and then the guy who plays Tybalt (there’s only three guys in the whole thing) shouts, “Oh! I am slain!” and drops. I practically died laughing. I wonder what I have to do now. Probably homework or some such thing. December 21, 2006 Well. Here we are. I’m listening to “Bend and Not Break”. I realized I haven’t listened to that song in awhile. Good song. I love the beginning. This is the song that’s always going to remind me of last summer, along with “My Sundown” and “Almost”. I’m glad I don’t have to go through that summer again. There was all that crap with the Walrus, Amy was gone, and I was bored as hell. Band was actually okay today. We still have that sub. She’s nice enough, but even she yelled at me today! Okay, she didn’t yell, but she said I had a funny look on my face. That must be what’s driving Roberts nuts. I must have a weird look on my face! I assured her I didn’t mean anything. I only got picked on because she knows me from Allen. The rehearsal was a joke. We played “Italian in Algiers” (one of our concert pieces), only today was orchestra, so we were missing a lot of our soloists. Ashley and myself knew that the music would derail if we didn’t do anything, so we did what we are forbidden to do. We sang. Every single solo, we sang it. The sub thought it was really funny. Blake’s solo was the best to sing. Afterwards, I handed out Pez and Sam Nam (cool guy- trying out for drum major, actually), Ashley, Caleb, and me talked for the last twenty minutes. I heard that Jessica is going to tell Mr. Roberts that she only played one song then let us go. I hope she doesn’t. She’s the greatest. I laughed so much and without worrying about what Roberts would think or that I was going to get in trouble. That’s how band is supposed to be. It was Reduced Shakespeare again today during Latin. Hilarious stuff. I ate the Snickers that my Earth Science friend Sam gave me today (she gave me a bunch of stuff) during the movie. Garrett just looked at me, and I knew what he wanted, so I rolled my eyes and tore off part of the Snickers. What are friends for? We took Michael’s pencils away from him because he wouldn’t stop drumming. Good thing he has us to guide him. Hey, we heard this last night! I was on the phone with Amy (because she was sick yesterday so I called to make sure she wasn’t dead), and Fuzz called while we were on the phone. HE’S COMING HOME!!!!!! Next semester, he’s being transferred in!!!! I didn’t realize just how happy I was until we heard the news. I miss Fuzz so much. Throughout today, I passed on the news, first to Wyatt, then to the Walrus. They were both really happy. Fuzz is everyone’s favorite guy. I missed him so much. Next month, then. Yeah, baby! That news really helped me through this day. There were times that I totally forgot what day today was. A year. Wow. I think I’m going to be okay in the long run. I’m going to be okay. I wonder what it was that happened to me last December. I guess we’ll never know. All in the past now, as Wyatt told me today about something else. One more day, then we’re done. I’m going to go relax. December 22, 2006 Yes! All done! The most amazing sunset is going on right now, all purple and orange and such. I’m just glad we’re done with school for awhile. It’s the second-biggest break, after summer, of course. Dad and I got into a huge fight last night. I wanted to go start my Christmas shopping (because they said we could go) but Dad weaseled out of it because he was tired. If he had just told me that, I wouldn’t have been so angry. Again, I just don’t like being out of control of my life, being told that my life isn’t going to go a certain way. Mom sort of made me feel a little better later on. Our discussion led back to Michael and me, and how I’m going to always be the afterthought, even after he leaves Huron. I was so mad, I actually did some poetry. Seriously. Me. Poetry. One was me raging at Dad, another was me to Michael, and a third was for Cam. I ended up liking the one for Michael the best. I didn’t write out the title, but I’m going to call it “Golden Boy”. It turned out really well. A really good piece of work, at least for me. Well, not to sound arrogant, but I am a pretty good writer. I’ve never written when I was charged up like that, and I got some interesting results. The one for Cam was good, too. I started out by telling him I love him more than I can say, which is very true. To this day, I can’t figure out why he doesn’t hate me. My last day was really easy. We actually made snowflakes in Mr. Kim’s class. For real. It cracked me up to see that Wyatt makes the best snowflakes I’ve ever seen. Wyatt can be really serious and he acts pretty old, like someone’s grandfather or something. Well, Amy says he’s “a complex guy”. I think that kind of goes without saying. That’s Wyatt. Band was also really fun. That sub lady is a bit of a pushover. We eventually stopped playing and just hung out. I studied for my Latin synopsis and talked to Karen. The other trumpets played that card game I have no idea how to play. Karen kind of explained it, but I don’t think I would be that good. I brought my trumpet home, so the metal won’t congeal or anything for two weeks. All my Latin studying paid off. We took our synopsis first thing, and I got an A. My first A on a synopsis in a very long time. I could tell it was going to be good, because Mr. Julius graded it right then and there, and he only made about two tick marks and he was done fast. After that, we finished Reduced Shakespeare (they end with Hamlet). For us, he went back to the “play within a play” part (it’s something in Hamlet), but they do a puppet show, not actually a play. First the puppets sing, then they make out, then there’s something of a puppet sex scene. They pretty much just bash the puppets together, but it’s hilarious. Mr. Julius agreed to go back to that part for our amusement. Michael and I got David’s present, finally. It’s some Xbox game that David wanted. I was thinking, I might ask Mom and Dad for the new Legend of Zelda game. Anne has it, and it’s pretty sweet. You turn into a wolf. I might research it right now, then make an informed decision. Wow, I’m turning into a real nerd, aren’t I? Whatever. Information is good. Now, I’m going to go search that. It’s the end of school! At least for awhile, anyway. December 23, 2006 Two days until Christmas. I’m a little woozy, because I’ve been watching Forensic Files for the past two hours. I love those kind of shows. Regular TV just seems like crap lately, unless it’s a comedy. I like comedy. David and I were just debating about fictional TV versus factual TV. He likes to be entertained. I like to be informed. I guess that’s the difference between us. I finally finished my Christmas shopping today, with getting Michael a gift card to Starbucks’. However, since he came in with me, I had to tell him it was for Dad. I put it in a big box and taped the card to the bottom, so it feels like nothing’s in there. Mom got some towels from me, dish towels. As I said to Dad in Bed Bath and Beyond, nothing screams Christmas like dish towels. Michael and I got this Xbox game for David, and I got Dad a calendar of cartoons from The Far Side. He told me not to get him anything that night we got into that fight, but I know he was just pissed and he would actually be really upset if I didn’t give him anything. We were out for seriously about two and a half hours today. The mall was the worst. Michael says that David and I are “bad at walking” but we aren’t. People just don’t seem to get that American traffic stays to the right. Not my fault. People can be assholes at the mall, though. About two hours into our Christmas journey, we were paying at JC Penny’s. We didn’t really know how the line worked, so we went around to the next cashier, who explained about the line. This middle-aged lady (who totally wasn’t involved, by the way) turned to us and practically shouted at David, “Yeah, go to the back of the line, buddy!” Then, to herself, she added, “What an idiot.” Anger flared at me when she said that. I followed Michael to the back of the line, but I wanted to grab her by the front of her sweatshirt and scream, “You got a problem!?” right in her face. Now, I’ll admit, David really sometimes doesn’t have the best sense, but it’s not his fault he has Aspburger’s syndrome! It comes with the territory. The three of us really didn’t know. It’s not our fault. When we got to the back of the line, I said to Michael, “She’s a bitch.” He nodded, pulling a face. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” I hate people like that, people who diss on any member of my family when they’re not even involved. I won’t even hear a word against my brothers with my friends, like Amy. I complain about David a lot, but no one else is allowed to say anything about him. Same with my parents. One time, when we were about in eighth grade, Cam said something about how he and his mom make jokes at Mom’s expense. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself or my family back then, but I was really mad. If it had been these days, I know I probably would have thrown Cam out of my house and told him that I would kick his ass next time I saw him. Sometimes I wonder if I do have anger problems. I know I have a vicious temper sometimes, but I think that’s it. Also, it only comes up sometimes. Back in about May, we were all talking about shrinks or something, me, Amy, the Walrus, and Fuzz. “I once went to a shrink,” I remember saying. They asked me why, because I usually come across as the stable one. “On account of my anger issues,” I said honestly. The three of them honestly thought it was funny, because back then, I had more self-control than the average fourteen-year-old. It really only comes up around my family. David and Dad, specifically. Dad, when he won’t treat me like people are supposed to treat fifteen-year-olds. David, when he does something annoying or repetitive. Sometimes I look at how I react at school and at home, and it’s really scary how much of a discrepancy there is. So much for Christmas spirit, eh? Actually, today I was reading the card that Amy gave me on Friday, with her present (chocolate, which was awesome). It cracked me up. I love Amy. Claire... Wow, another year as my BFF and another year gone by WITHOUT dropping your mute! Lol. :) It’s been amazing, keep running from that walrus and watch out for a sexy li’l convict. -Happy Holidays -Amy Hilarious stuff. She just had to put in about my mute and about the Walrus and Luis. Funny, because honestly I don’t know what I was thinking with either. I look back on this thing, with all my stuff with the Walrus, and I think, “Hm. I actually thought that?” He did serve his purpose, however. To this day, I honestly don’t know what I found so irresistible about Luis. That was some weird stuff. He’s not a bad person, but he’s such a showoff and a bit of a loser. That’s partly why I don’t want that to get out. There are about two hundred band people who would find that very amusing. Okay, that’s all for now, folks. December 24, 2006- Christmas Eve We actually have to go to church twice today, since Christmas falls on a Monday this year. The first one is over, and we’re going tonight, the Vigil, as they call it. What I really want them to sing is that really cool song in Latin that the A Cappela Choir sang one year. I think it goes like this: Gaudete, Gaudete Christus est natus Ex Maria, virgine Gaudete I can’t figure out if natus is a participle or not. If it were, it would be a present active participle. To be born is a verb, so I guess it is. Or it could just be a predicate adjective. Argh. Where’s Mr. Julius when you need him? One of these days, I’m going to request gaudeo, gaudere as the verb for our synopsis. He told me flat out that he’s not going to do “to behave like a Sicilian” or appropinquat. They’re the longest verbs in the Latin language. Christmas Eve already. Wow. Time flies, doesn’t it? I’m going to be in college before I know it. All that aside, I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I checked out my presents, and I think I have an idea of what I’m getting. From the packages, I think they got me Legend of Zelda. Sweet. From the one skinny package, I think I got a new chain for Cam’s old necklace. Also, they might have gotten me a new fleece and an iPod dock, since Michael has a box that’s almost the same size and we both asked for one. If we did get one, I honestly can’t believe they found it. Those are going fast. I’m a bit tired. I stayed up until about two-fifteen in the morning, watching Braveheart. It was actually the first time I’ve ever seen that all the way through on DVD, since they show it on TV a lot. Braveheart’s my favorite movie, no contest. I’m extremely ladylike, aren’t I? Well, nothing like Scottish rebels chopping up the English to put you in a good mood. Well, I should probably go. Merry Christmas. December 25, 2006- Christmas Day Merry Christmas to all. Good haul this year, too. I got a new chain (like I thought I would), $80 towards Borders (I’m not even kidding), an iPod dock, Legend of Zelda (which was awesome), and some clothes. No snow or anything, but that’s okay. It was a great Christmas. We’ve been playing Risk all day. After all, world domination just screams Christmas, right? Time to eat. I’m out. Merry Christmas for the millionth time. ‘Bye. December 27, 2006 Well, four more days in 2006. I almost don’t want it to be 2007. I think that’s because that means that Michael’s leaving soon. It just seems like we’re getting so old, you know? I’m happy, in a way, but part of me wants to stay fifteen forever. And after 2007 is 2008, when the sophomores leave. Yeah, in my heart they’re still the sophomores. I’m going to have so say goodbye to Lisa and Jessica and Garrett and Zach (both of ‘em, actually) and everyone else. Huh. Enough of that. It’s still break over here, and it will be for a couple more weeks now. I’m not bored yet, but that’s only because I’ve been playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for most of it. Anne’s been a great help and she doesn’t laugh too hard at me, the video game dummy. There was a goat-herding incident which she just had to laugh at. I didn’t realize that you had to talk to the ranch hand guy to get the goat-herding started, so I was trying to get them into the barn without being in goat-herding mode. We both cracked up at that. Anne’s great to have around. My right leg hurts like hell. For the past couple days I’ve been getting on the treadmill right after I get up. Three miles, every day. I definitely pulled something yesterday. The good side is that I’m not tired during the day and I feel pretty good. The best part is afterwards, when I take a shower. I don’t know why, but it’s so awesome. Then I don’t feel lazy when I sit on the couch for the rest of the day. Three miles is actually hard for me right now, but I suppose it’ll get easier if I keep doing it. I sort of miss being at school. School isn’t bad for me these days. I miss my friends, I suppose. Once we get back to school it’s going to be my favorite time of year. Finals. Yeah, I’m crazy. I love finals. It’s all review of stuff I already know and classes get really easy. It’s more than that, really. The tests are fun for me. It’s like a game. Plus, half-days! What could be better? Geometry is going to be an easy final. Me and Geometry get along nicely. Mr. Wilson himself told us that his final isn’t going to be a brain-buster. Speech is going to be bad, because we have to do a persuasive speech. I’ll do okay on Earth Science. Better than the rest of those fools, anyway. Latin should be okay. I’m good at Latin. In band, we’re doing scales. I’ve got those scales down this year. Last year, it was death by scale test. I actually read back to June 2 or whatever, when we were in that uniform room doing scales and Mr. MacArthur said, “Hey, what if Caleb was spelled with a K? I think that would be really neat.” I realized that’s the first place I ever mention Luis. I go off on a rant later in the summer, which still cracks me up. It’s all one sentence, which cracks me up even more. We got a math packet from Mr. Kim, actually. It’s not due until the day of the final, but I still think I’m going to work on it and keep my brain fresh. December 28, 2006 Interestingly enough, I had the best day with Michael. Grandmom was getting a perm and it would take a couple hours, so we went downtown and used the massage gift cards we both got for Christmas. We had to come back a little later, because they were full, so we just walked downtown. It was really fun. I was cold as hell, because I couldn’t find my jacket this morning, but I still had some fun. We got some coffee (hot chocolate for me since I don’t drink coffee) and went into some of the stores. We spent a lot of time in this store called A Thousand Villages, where stuff comes in from all over the world. It’s very fair and anti-child labor. Michael had some fun with the music selection and the musical instruments. They had some cool stuff. After that we went back to the massage place. At first I was a bit nervous, because I was going to get a guy, but he was really nice. I had to laugh, because Michael got a guy, too. He purposely signed me up first so I would get the guy and he would get the girl. The massage was really good. I honestly think I might have fallen asleep. I wasn’t worried about sexual abuse after awhile, because I figured the guy wouldn’t do anything with a bunch of witnesses and my brother standing right there. I feel very relaxed. I had the weirdest dreams last night. First, I dreamed that I was in the Huron auditorium with the band in my dress, or some of it anyway. For some reason or other, I wasn’t wearing pantyhose, a slip, or nice shoes. I was wearing sneakers and white socks. We were sitting in the audience and I went up to Mr. Roberts and asked him if I could call Mom and have her bring my shoes, because I had a blanking moment and had forgotten mine. He kind of laughed at me, a friendly laugh (which shows that this was a dream). Yet, at that exact moment, Varsity Band got done and I had to go up there like I was. Weird, huh? The second part was weirder. I dreamed I was going down the highway in a motorcycle. Sometimes I would feel like the motorcycle was out of control and going too fast, other times I felt like I had perfect control and I was having the time of my life. I pulled off to a parking lot on the side of the road perfectly and spotted the police. Somehow, I knew that they were going to come talk to me. All I remember is that they asked me whose motorcycle that was and that I called them ‘sir’ very respectfully. For the owner of the motorcycle, I named my godparents in Maine for some reason. I’m fairly certain that they let me off and I kept going. Strange. They say that what you think about right before you go to sleep influences what you dream about, but I wasn’t thinking about anything of that sort. I was actually thinking about the time the Walrus nearly told Luis that I liked him. It was last May or something like that. Something possessed me to tell the Walrus about him and he misunderstood and thought that we had gone out. So, therefore, he was going to go brag to Luis that he was dating his ex and I caught him just in time. That still makes me cringe. I’m hoping to graduate without that ever getting out, though, I must say, Toner has a big mouth. Maybe I’ll actually get around to that math packet this time around. I might just read or something. It’s my vacation, after all. December 30, 2006 Another night of strange dreams last night. I dreamed that I was at some sort of flight school. It was almost like I was an astronaut. This woman told me a story about how she was up in the air and she had a crisis and she couldn’t remember some code, so she died. Why is it that dead people always stick around in my dreams? Next, I was having some fight with Dad and wanted to stay at this elementary school with orange walls. He wouldn’t let me stay, however. There was a lot of taking off in a rocket in that dream, and we may have gotten into space once or twice. The next part was almost a memory. Part of it definitely happened. It was the pep rally from seventh grade. Weird, huh? I was twelve years old and in the bleachers with the rest of the white team, doing that cheer that we made up for the pep rally. The only thing missing was the thirteen-year-old version of Cam, who definitely would have been there, since we were best friends back then. But, after the memory ended, all the white team sat on the sidelines of the Tappan gym and part of the team did some kind of dance in the middle of the gym. After that, someone said it was time to “vote out” our student council or something. I heard part of a hymn that we used to sing at St. Thomas that I haven’t thought about for years. The line I heard was, “And your endless mercy follows me and your goodness will lead me home.” I wish I could remember what that song was called. So, I looked all that up. The rocket means I’m going straight up and achieving success, or I’m going to win over my crush. Sweet. The gym means I need to apply what I know to everyday life. The astronaut means I’m expanding my awareness or consciousness. Well, these are all good things. I love dreams. If I go into psychology, I’m going to do dreams on the side. Okay, enough stuff with my subconscious. I’m all alone here at home. The parents and grandparents went to some furniture store, David went with them, and Michael’s at his pal Aaron’s. I only got up at one in the afternoon. After that, I went on the treadmill. For some reason, it’s not as hard if I’m listening to a CD in the CD player. It’s painful if I listen to my iPod. Today I was rocking out to “I Got A Man”. That’s the best hip-hop song in the world, and I hate rap. I just think it’s kind of funny. The first time I heard it was on the way to Amy’s fifteenth birthday party. It’s about this guy who sees this girl at a club or something, and he’s trying to win her over, but she keeps telling him, “I got a man!” and she won’t cheat on her man. That doesn’t stop him from trying to get with her for three minutes and forty-eight seconds. It cracks me up and I know all the words now. Hmmmm. “Some Hearts”. I remember this song. I was totally into it last summer. Zach’s song, still. You want to hear something funny? Around about middle July, I kind of liked him. If you look back, you’ll find that I had numerous dreams about him. Too bad I can’t ever tell Amy that. She would rip my head right off. I had the hardest time going to sleep last night. We’re back to how it was over the summer, when I would go to bed at four in the morning and get up at three in the afternoon. I had to listen to my “calming music”. In the course of an hour I went through “I’ll Be”, “Lips of an Angel” (great song), “Reel in the Flickering Light”, and the ever-famous “She Will Be Loved”. One more thing I never told Amy. It’s still one of my favorites, though. I don’t mind spending every day Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with a broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved Yeah, Amy would take my head straight off. Maybe I’ll tell her if she gets over the jealousy complex that she has with her past boyfriends. Zach and Alex don’t get it. Alex understands a little better than Zach and he makes it a bit funnier. He had me on the floor back in May. I sort of miss that time. We had Fuzz back then, anyway. All right, I’m going to head out. Back to my day as a hermit. December 31, 2006- New Year’s Eve Okay, here we are. Last day of 2006. We have and hour and sixteen minutes left in the year. I was talking to Amy for awhile before this. We talked for about and hour and a half. It was good, because we haven’t had a lot of long phone conversations lately like we used to. As usual, we didn’t talk about anything important. Well, the Fairy March, like usual, but nothing big. Her parents are at some New Year’s party and I just don’t talk to mine a whole bunch, so we made do with each other. For once, I have someone that I have a lot of history with, other than Cam, of course. A lifetime of memories happened last year, enough for a whole high school career of inside jokes. Just us and our guys generate a lot of comedy. For example, I told Amy the story of how the Walrus nearly exposed me to Luis and she cracked up at that. That was really a close one. I said to Amy, “You know, with everything that happened with us seems almost like a dream.” Seriously. No one really seems to remember that I once went out with the Walrus. Hurley is the only one that ever brought it up and he wasn’t even sure what happened. Huh. He’s not the only one. I went driving today in the rain. It wasn’t that bad, actually. I swear, the only reason Dad lets me listen to music in the car is because he likes to sing along to the songs. For example, today it was “Bohemian Rhapsody”. He loves that song. We go down the roads blasting it and singing along. I’m sure we look perfectly insane to the world outside. I saw the music for that a few days ago in one of David’s audition books. What we played for Homecoming is pretty close to the real thing. It was interesting to see the real thing. Right now I’m listening to Dashboard Confessional and doing nothing. I really like “So Beautiful”. It’s going to be a song that reminds me of last summer. It also kind of reminds me of Amy. It’s the line, “You’re so beautiful when you’ve convinced yourself no one else is quite as beautiful.” Last year she had a lot of self-image issues. It took combined efforts of Fuzz and me to bring her back up again. I miss that time. Sort of. Well, I guess I don’t have anything else of interest to report, really. This is it for the year. It’s been a good one. Until 2007. January 1, 2007- New Year’s Day Happy New Year. It’s gray and cloudy today and it has been all day. Well, I only woke up a little after one in the afternoon. I remember what I was doing on this day last year. I had gone to Ashley’s to practice our duet. We got a one when we actually played it. On the way home, Dad played one of Michael’s old CDs. One of the songs on it was “Beautiful Day” by U2. It’s a beautiful day Sky falls You feel like It’s a beautiful day Don’t let it get away Great song. Anyway, I was in the weirdest mood on the way home. It was another time that I realized that I really missed Luis. It was the end of my denial, really. I remember staring up at the sky. It really was a beautiful day that day. All right, enough of that. Last night was actually fun, even though I had another stomach incident. Apparently, since I threw up on red wine last May, I can’t deal with alcohol anymore. I had just a little beer and felt like I was about to hurl. I hate this so much. Michael and David can both drink and they feel fine. It makes me feel weak! Maybe I should build myself up, a little at a time. I ended up drinking a little champagne and felt okay. It sucks though, because that means I won’t do any hard-core partying. I almost want to get drunk, just to know what it’s like. Today was another day of driving. I’m getting so good. Dad was on the phone for a lot of it, too. That means that I was almost driving myself. If only, eh? Well, only nine and a half more months. I really can’t wait. Also, in one hundred and twenty-seven days, The Pilgrims of Rayne comes out. That’s not that far away. Sweet. Well, Happy New Year to all. I’m out.
Add your thoughts

No Comments

  • No Comments

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!