• November 2, 2006 It started snowing today. Not just flurries, either, big flakes. I had to go down to the library to appreciate it. I love winter and snow and I can’t stand summer. It’s too bad it stopped, because it was actually kind of pretty. School was boring today. We took a quiz in Wilson’s class. I thought I was going to fail, but I snatched Arthur’s vocabulary and memorized it in a quick second. I ended up being the second one done, even though I forgot what “asperity” means. I guessed, since there was only one option left. I turned in my journals that I did for English, which I actually worked on. We went to the library today in Speech to get information on our topics for our “demonstration speeches”. I played Festive Fallout for the whole time. Mr. Fox never caught me, because Lisa and me and our friends sat in the back to avoid detection. Lisa and them are crazy, but they’re a lot of fun. Speech is no fun without Hurley, though. He’s still out. The Walrus says he’ll be gone until Tuesday. Poor guy. I miss him, because school’s no fun without him. I changed my seat to Lisa’s in Speech to sit next to him again, although I said it was to piss off Lisa. Funny how I realize that I’d do anything for him AFTER his dad kicks the bucket. I know he probably won’t be the same for awhile. Last night, I was really worried about him for some reason. I was sort of thinking along the lines of, what if he kills himself? or something like that. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slipped off the side of my bed, knelt, and prayed. I prayed hard for Hurley, his mom, and his little brother Jack, that they could be okay and learn to be happy again. Learn to heal. After I got back into bed, I felt better. More at peace. I guess it could have only have been God. I hope the Hurleys can bounce back from this. The Walrus and I were discussing it in Earth Science today. “So you heard too?” he asked. “Yeah,” I answered. “Two in the course of a year. This sucks.” He nodded, agreeing with me. We actually did a lab together today. He brought in some blonde chick to work with us, and I brought in Arthur. He’s the best guy to have around if you need someone to talk to (other than some guy who thinks he’s your boyfriend, for example). I would have worked with Samantha, but she decided to be sick today. I actually had fun, for a couple reasons. One was it was an easy lab and it took us about ten minutes. The other had to do with the blonde chick. I think the Walrus likes her! I just wanted to laugh my head off. He was totally hitting on her and not being smooth AT ALL. One of the properties used to classify rocks is the cleavage markings. I’m sure you can tell where that’s going. It was totally hilarious. For some reason, though, I was a little sad. I guess, even though I don’t like him anymore, in the end it’s going to be hard for me to let him go. He’s still the best guy ever, despite all the girls that hate him (for reasons I’ve never seen). Today in Latin, I did something that my Latin 1 class made me do last year. Continuing the tradition, I betted Michael Toner that he couldn’t keep quiet for a whole class period. Lauren and Mataeso did that to me last year, since I was a loudmouth. Michael Toner is the loudmouth of our class, just because he knows his stuff. I was loud because I liked to talk. He actually did it. I told him a minute before class ended, “Okay, you can talk now. You did very good.” The class was actually quiet for once. Something funny happened this morning with him and Amy. Before school, I hang out with Cam, Anne, and Amy across from where Garret hangs out with his friends. Michael sometimes walks by and says hello to both of us. Well, today he met Amy. I introduced them: “Amy, Michael Toner, tuba player. Michael, Amy Holler, euphonium player.” I let them talk and turned to Anne and Cam. While I was talking to them, I overheard her say, “Oh, yeah, the band needs tubas even more than euphonium players.” I glanced over her head and said, “No one needs tubas!” Amy knows I hate tuba players. I have a tuba vendetta, for reasons one could infer from reading this. Michael walked away a little while later, and I saw the look on Amy’s face. It was the “wow... he’s cute” look. “No,” I said abruptly. “There is no way.” Amy started laughing. She was laughing because I knew exactly what she was thinking. “He’s cute,” she said, although she really needn’t have said it. “That is a freshman, Amy.” “So?” “No tuba players! You know I hate tuba players!” “Yes, tuba players! I’ve always said I’ve always wanted to date a tuba player...” “No,” I said again. “That’s my freshman. No way. And I hate tubas.” “You do not,” she retorted. “You only have a vendetta against Sexy Li’l Convict.” Okay. She’s right. But hey. It’s easier to generalize. I realized recently, with Michael being our common acquaintance, it’s going to get around to him that I’m less than fond of him, if it hasn’t already. I’m over him, but not what he did. I seriously have no respect for him because he copped out. Maybe it’s because he’s high up in the tubas now, and it’s like he worked the system. No one should be allowed to do that. It’s just stupid and you don’t earn it. Okay, I might actually go study for my Earth Science test. November 3, 2006 Listening to “Closer to Free” and being happy it’s Friday. We also have a three-day weekend. Mr. Drake was the only person who assigned homework, although he says it’s “Monday night’s homework”. He gave us a test today. I don’t know how I did. I never do anymore. I did terrible on the last test, even though I thought I did good. It’s snowing again today. I can already tell it’s going to be a horrible winter. That’s okay, though. I think I’m an Eskimo at heart. Actually, according to my story I wrote a few years ago, our tribe is the Icehound tribe. I’m an Icehound, resistant to cold and bad up against heat. I should start something up like that again. Today wasn’t bad. Just a Friday. I think everyone was ready for the three-day weekend, including the teachers. We finally took our Pudd’nhead Wilson test in English. I actually didn’t read the whole book, I just did the study guides while Mr. Kim was talking about triangles. Hey, I had to. Today was also binder check day. I was nervous about that at first, but he handed back my binder and I got a ninety-seven out of a hundred. Cool. I’ll take that. I did better than Paul, even. He got eighty-nine out of a hundred. He had crap in the pockets of his binder, so that was probably it. I’m making my next speech on Wednesday. Crap. It should be easy, but I’m still nervous. I will never be okay with auditioning or public speaking. No matter how many times I do either. It probably has something to do with me being last chair last year. At Tappan, I was the best and I knew I was the best, so I was never nervous. Now that I’ve hit rock bottom, it’s not such a sure thing. Damn tuba players. Hurley keeps drifting in and out of Huron. I saw him after Speech, when he came into our class. “Hey,” I said, caught by surprise. He responded in this really, really quiet voice. “Hey.” I feel so sorry for him. Wyatt says he’s not doing that great. Well, I guess that’s understandable. His dad just died. I just hope he’ll be able to bounce back and become the guy we all know and love. Band was all right. Mr. Roberts was gone, for reasons I don’t know. So, therefore, MacArthur took over. As much as I complain about Roberts, I really appreciate him once MacArthur starts running the show. Today, his theme was “the moment”. We never really figured out what he meant by his “moment”, except that both Henry, Matt, and I didn’t follow the “moment”. Well, it wasn’t my fault. I was talking to Caleb and Ashley. I really think Caleb is warming up to me lately. He’s been kind of sarcastic to me this year for some reason. Well, I dropped my mute during the song, and they thought it was funny. “Claire,” Blake said exasperatedly. “Tape it to your trumpet!” I laughed and told him, “It’s going to happen this year again, isn’t it? For the third year in a row?” “Yes!” he said. I really did drop it in eighth grade, too. In the middle of “Barrier Reef”. That was a damn good song, but my mute lost suction and fell in the middle of our concert. Same with last year. Only it was worse last year for obvious reasons. Sometimes it’s not bad to have Blake around, just because there aren’t that many people who went to Tappan, so we can’t talk with the Clauge people about middle school. And Blake’s better these days. Personally, I think both of us would just like to forget Tappan. I definitely would. Latin was fun, as it usually is. I did good on Mr. Julius’s quiz. He had graded mine by the end of class and told me I did good. We didn’t get down to much translating, because Garret, Michael, and myself were talking. Mr. Julius has given up. Translating time is when we learn all about each other. Those two guys are kind of interesting. Garrett is a seventeen-year-old junior because he has something like dyslexia and went to Rudolph Steiner. Michael is actually only a month younger than me, and he was home schooled for awhile. Michael could be a sophomore and Garrett could be a senior. He’s only eight months younger than my brother Michael. I could technically be a freshman, but Mom and Dad decided to send me to kindergarten when I was four, almost five, instead of five, almost six. I got “the power” today for the second day in a row. “The power” is Mr. Julius’s system of cards, and you pick who’s being called on. I requested it yesterday for Toner’s test. My name just came up today. The gods like me, as Mr. Julius says. “Who’s up?” he asked me. “Adrian,” I said, grinning. Adrian is this black guy who sits in the back. I love to mess with him. He can actually be pretty nice, but he ends every sentence with, “I’m just kidding.” To piss him off, I called on him every time yesterday. Adrian exploded. “Nuh-uh. I refuse to go up there, ‘cause she called on me like a million times yesterday.” I howled with laughter. I just wanted to see how many times it took to make him snap. I guess I got my answer. I did choose Garrett for the music selection during the quiz, though. He’s cool enough for that. I meant to pick someone else, but Garret’s name slipped out of my mouth for some reason. He picked Ray Charles, then Eric Clapton. One more reason why I like Mr. Julius. He listens to good music, and then plays it during the quiz. David’s surgery on his eye was today. It should be going on right now, in fact. I hope he does okay. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s still my brother. I appreciate my family every time someone dies. The eye that got hit while I was at Interlochen is going fuzzy, so he needed surgery. It really sucks. He can’t get a break, even though I claim that I’m the unlucky sibling. David is the true unlucky sibling. He got everything bad. Maybe we just look bad next to Michael. He’s going somewhere, he’s going to be successful. I know that I’ve felt inferior to him almost my whole life. Everywhere he goes, he does something noteworthy. David and I always end up looking dumber and less successful. Sometimes it pisses me off that Michael’s the best at whatever he does. School, sports, even driving! Maybe it will be better for everyone when he leaves, at least for me, because then I can’t compare anymore. I’m going to go relax. It’s Friday, after all. November 4, 2006 David’s going to be okay. All the fluids behind his eye reabsorbed. Mom and Dad are saying it’s a miracle. Maybe it is. He was lucky, anyway. They still want to watch him, but the doctors say he’s going to be fine. I think everyone’s just glad he’s not going to go blind. I just realized I better throw together some quality crap this weekend, because Wednesday isn’t that far away and we need to have our outline ready on Monday. It’s Mr. Fox’s way of making our lives miserable, even if we did sign up for Friday. Lisa signed up for Friday because she knew she wouldn’t be there that day. Like I said, hilarious, but out of her mind. It just hit me yesterday that the first quarter is over. That was a fast one. I wonder what my grades are. For one of the first times, I’m not sweating over my math grade. The C- did it last quarter. Well, Mr. Samulak’s tests were hard, which you wouldn’t expect since he’s such a goof. Mr. Kim is almost easier. Plus he gives less homework. Usually just one book work assignment or one worksheet, not both like Mr. Samulak did. I do miss him, though. He was a good guy. I say hello to him if we happen to pass in the hall. Well, it’s Saturday and I’m bored. I translated the passage that Mr. Julius was after me to translate while I was talking with Garrett. This one was about Roman dinner preparations. Big thrill. The slave-women nearly burned down the manor and the mistress got pissed off. The bright side is that now I’m prepared for the F.L.A.I. that we’re having (the equivalent of a Mr. Julius quiz). I guess there’s nothing left to say. Until next time. November 6, 2006 I officially don’t like three-day weekends. Too boring. I had to stoop to doing Mr. Drake’s homework before five o’clock. Turns out, it’s a damn good thing I did. It was all this stuff with charts and graphs that we had to copy and describe. The slackers in Earth Science with me won’t be able to throw it together during second hour or whatever it is that they do. It’s almost odd only doing my homework for myself. It’s an extra motivation that Hurley usually copies me, because if I don’t do it, both of our GPAs are going down. Today I got my permit, my actual level one drivers permit that doesn’t expire until I graduate or something. You get some odd characters down at the Secretary of State’s office. It’s close to Ypsilanti, so that might explain it. You’re never quite normal if you come out of Ypsi. We actually had to come back home because Mom forgot my birth certificate, and then we had lost our place in line. Good thing I don’t need to come back for another six months. I’m glad tomorrow’s Tuesday. Except that Friday is the Day Of Ultimate Doom For Claire Beaulieu. Yep. The tenth. Audition day. Now that’s it’s right here in front of us, I’m scared as hell. I know I’m going to do better than last year, but the memory is still there. I keep thinking, what if I’m last again? Maybe I should just keep telling myself that Matt isn’t going to beat me, because he just got his braces off. David Barrie isn’t serious enough to beat me. I have more experience than Peter Dalack and Jay Bouma, and Henry is kind of like David. Just kind of stupid. Maybe I’ll maintain my chair. So that still leaves the people above me. Caleb, Ashley, and I are all about equal now, except that they have better rhythm than me. Blake isn’t someone I can beat anymore. Laja I don't think I’ll beat either, because he got really good at some time last year, even though he was down at the end with me and Luis. Zach is a favorite of Roberts’s, and that’s why he’s first chair. I don’t have a prayer there. He really doesn’t have good tone, so I think Laja might beat him. I kind of hope so. That would be a real leap for Laja, and he deserves it. Last night, I went to go see a movie with Amy. It was Marie Antoinette. I can say right now that it was just about the worst movie I’ve ever seen. The music totally didn’t match with the story. It was this rock-punky stuff, which didn’t really go with seventeen-hundreds France. All through the movie I was thinking, “Okay, are they being put to death yet?” They were speaking with American accents! And their kids had French accents! It’s movies like that that really make me glad I’m French Canadian. Speaking of French Canadian, some of the Beaulieus are coming on Wednesday. Yep. Dad’s side of the family. My grandfather had a stroke, so they’re moving him and our grandmother out to Seattle, where my aunt lives. My grandparents, my aunt, and Uncle Mike are going to be stopping by on their road trip to Seattle (yep- they’re driving it, go figure). It should be interesting. Lucky it’s the good Beaulieus, not the Alcoholics Anonymous Beaulieus. Well, I should go practice to offset the Doom that is this Friday. November 7, 2006 I made an... interesting decision today during band, one that I followed through on, too, I’m sorry to say. I’m not sure whether it will end up being the right choice, but I had to do something. It started early in band, when I was warming up. Toner came wandering over. He didn’t look all that happy. I turned around to face him and he started talking. “Luis might be quitting band, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” he started. That mildly shocked me. “He’s quitting?” I said incredulously. “He might be. I sort of want to cry because he’s been... an odd sort of inspiration, sort of,” Toner said. After he went back to the tuba section, and odd thought hit me. It’s happening again, only this time with another impressionable freshman. Michael Toner made the same mistake I did. He got too attached to Luis, and now Luis is leaving. Halfway through “Gypsy Dance”, I knew what I had to do. It was time to tell Toner the whole story. Just so he would know he’s not the only one. We continued the topic in Latin. Toner told me he had just given up the struggle for first chair and just said, “Yes. You’re first chair.” It had never occurred to me that Toner enjoyed the battle. The guy was almost crushed. “Would you miss him if he left?” I asked quietly. Toner hesitated. “Yeah.” That was the sign I needed. “You’re like me. I took it hard when Luis left the trumpet section, because I really liked him.” Great. This was the hard part. If I left out this part, then the rest wouldn’t make sense. “Actually,” I started, “I was... very attracted to him, so that’s why I took it hard.” Toner grinned. “You will not repeat that to Luis,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “Or anyone else. I’ve never told anyone but my closest friends that.” Hopefully I gave him something. Toner doesn’t deserve what I went through. It really sucks that Luis is his hero. Maybe the vendetta is deserved. I always say that in the end, he’s nothing but a quitter. At least, if he does quit, then Toner gets the chair he deserves. Well, on the plus side of the day, Hurley’s back. He’s... well, I wouldn’t say normal, but as normal as can be expected. I could tell the poor guy was trying to act like everything was fine, everything was normal. I just tried to be natural, and not talk to him in a hushed voice or anything. He asked me how I found out, though. I knew what he meant when he asked. “Mr. Fox told me,” I said. “Did he, like, announce it to the whole class?” I winced. “Yeah.” “Damn,” he swore. I don’t blame him. Really. We had a sub in English today. Mr. Wilson was gone, apparently. We’re watching Mean Girls to cover satire. I like that movie, actually. Michael went through a phase when he was about sixteen where he was obsessed with it. It was really quite hilarious. I like the part where one of the girls gets hit by the bus. Well, Anne and Cam FINALLY kissed. For real this time. Last time was just a false alarm. Or the cheek or something. Anne told me about it last night. I was happy, I guess. They’re meant to be together. I know that Cam and Anne is going to last longer than Cam and I would have. Today, during practice club, I told Cam of my plan to kiss him during the D.C. trip. Turns out he had been planning the same thing, but neither of us had the guts to do it. We were strange kids. In Latin, we did the National Latin Exam. A practice one, that is. I got about an 85% out of forty questions. Poor Garrett got about 50%. Well, I suppose it’s not his fault. The guy’s dyslexic! We had a good time today. After our National Latin Exam practice, we talked for the rest of the time. He was telling me about this thing he did when he was in fifth grade where he had to Greek wrestle. He lost because the other guy kneed him in the chest. Ouch. It came from me reading his shirt. That shirt looked amazing on him. Garrett can pull off the tighter shirt look, better than most guys can. Recently, I found out that Toner, Garrett, and myself are all in the 6200 hallway during first hour. I know Garrett is there during that time, but I didn’t realize that Michael was there, too. Garrett scared the crap out of me today. I was walking down the 6200 hallway after Geometry, minding my own business, when suddenly someone hit me on the shoulders. I yelped and jumped practically out of my skin. Garrett grinned at me and continued down the hall. Have I mentioned how much it sucks that he’s seventeen and I’m only fifteen? Now, Mr. Kim’s insane math assignment calls. Unfortunately. November 8, 2006 Well, I’m doing this now, since everyone comes in a couple hours. I really like the song David’s playing, “Days Go By”, although I would never admit it. Allegedly, I hate Keith Urban. Whatever. I might steal that song from the CD he’s playing. Today was good. Nothing special. I scored seven higher on the National Latin Exam than I did the last time. Garrett got exactly the same score. 58%. I’m sure Toner kicked all our asses. He’s the smart one. Mr. Julius was telling us during Latin about his very first year teaching. He actually had to take mental leave a little after the second quarter started. His very first day, a kid threw a desk at him, his window got broken, and there was a bomb threat, so everyone got moved into the football stadium. All on the first day. He also told this really funny story about how a kid was up in his face every single day, and one day he snapped. Mr. Julius grabbed the guy’s hat and threw it out in the hall. Just like that. I cracked up. Mr. Julius will talk forever if you get him on the right subject. Band was even more fun then usual. Mr. Roberts came in and gave us his trademark “disappointed speech”. Then he did something totally counterintuitive. He said that it was “individual practice time”, only he didn’t have us get out our instruments and we were just supposed to finger or something. MacArthur was supposed to be rehearsing the orchestra people. Now, as one might expect, we did this for about five minutes before we started thinking, “Screw this.” Blake, Caleb, Ashley, and myself all talked for awhile, and then we went about our business. Mostly homework business. I cut across the band room (not at all inconspicuously) to the tuba section to borrow Michael Toner’s Geometry book. Blake and Caleb helped me with my proofs, since they’re in Algebra 3/4 (a.k.a. Smart Math). I ended up getting my whole assignment done. I wish we had more days like that. I have to remember that Solo and Ensemble forms are due Friday. I’m doing a trumpet quartet with the obvious people. Also, I think I’m going to do a solo this year. I’ve got to get over my stage fright. They say that doing it more and more helps. Hopefully they’re right. I put the due date in my cell to remind myself. That cell has helped me in so many ways. Good thing Dad never cut me off when I lost it. We’re starting speeches in Speech. I had to throw together my Earth Science homework alongside Hurley (meaning I did it, he copied me) because I had only done half of the assignment. I shared my theory about why Mr. Drake hasn’t figured out that Matt Hurley is mooching homework answers off of Claire Beaulieu with him. He grinned when he realized that I was right. The student teacher isn’t going to notice a pattern. She’s dumb as hell. We’re going to run right over her. We’re going to have some fun second semester. Thanks to Mr. Roberts, I don’t think I have any homework. Yes! November 9, 2006 I’m done with my speech! I’ve noticed that public speaking is getting little by little less scary. I owe Mr. Fox a vacation to Florida or something for helping me with that. Now, I guess all we have to do is see if it works on my audition tomorrow. The only person who I think is more scared than me is Matt Stern. Rightfully so, since he just got his braces off. I’m going to miss him, I think. He’s fun to sit next to. Well, our grandparents are staying here until further notice. They’re moving to Seattle, but Dad didn’t want them to have to drive it, so he told them to just stay here for awhile. I wish Aunt Moe and Uncle Mike could have stuck around for a little while longer. Uncle Mike is in some ways much cooler than Dad, even though he’s Dad’s older brother. He elaborated on the rather amusing story of Dad in college, when he chucked a pumpkin into the crowd at the Rutgers’ Oktoberfest and he nailed the dean. Right in the head. Uncle Mike said that he remembered that the throw had very good form, even though they were all drunk off their asses. We had fun last night. I was exhausted today for some reason. It really didn’t help in math, when Mr. Kim gave us about a million proofs. I hate proofs. They’re really not hard, it’s just not really black and white like other math, and you have to think about why something is. I got my grade today in there. I ended up getting out of the first quarter with a B. Mom should be happy. I think I had a C+ last year in Mr. Samulak’s class at this time. Well, I blame it on stupid algebra and myself, not Mr. Samulak. I found out the other day that I’m going to be getting a B+ in Mr. Drake’s class. Knowing our class, I probably have the highest grade in the class. Mr. Drake is so sick of us already, and it’s only November. Today he made the Walrus’s friend Marcus go to the back of the room (the equivalent of being kicked out) because he was wearing an ungodly amount of cologne. I laughed so hard. I love that class sometimes. Mr. Roberts is still “disappointed with our effort”. Well, boo-hoo. That’s what you get for letting in so many freshmen. The only reason the trumpet section is so strong this year is because we have two returning juniors, four returning sophomores, three sophomores from Varsity Band, and only two freshmen. It works out that we’re better. The rest of the sections have way more freshmen than us, and they’re slowing us down. We did when we were freshmen in Concert Band. Toner is the one exception, because he’s a really good tuba player. Latin was significantly more boring than usual, due to the absence of Garrett. We knew he was going to be gone, because he was doing something having to do with the orchestra. I don’t know how that works, since he’s in choir, but whatever. I think I did better on my synopsis than I’ve been doing lately. I did awesome on ille and is, ea, id. 90% on both, and a retake tomorrow, since our class did bad on it as a whole. Well, Mr. Vogel is really helping me now, since he’s the one that forced me to learn my noun endings. I miss him. Anne said something the other day about “more hilarity with parsing”, and it made me realize I really loved that class. I miss it. Really. It’s not coming back, unfortunately, since (according to Paul) the stupid freshmen are slowing everyone down. Now I have to go review scales or something like that. November 10, 2006 Well, I did it. The auditions are done. I did... okay, I guess. My range went weird so I couldn’t hit A or B or anything above that. Blake did really good. I got to hear his audition while sitting in that little yellow chair. It feels like waiting for the gas chambers or something. Too bad David Barrie wasn’t here, because he would have made me look good. Now it’s the wait. I’m actually more nervous now, because I have no idea what chair I’m going to get. We’ll probably know on Tuesday, since percussion goes on Monday. Crap. I’m used to knowing what happened the day after, because that’s what happened my freshman year. I did better than that time, anyway. Mr. Roberts said there were “good things going on”. Still, I’m nervous. I wish I could just maintain my chair, and I would be happy. Really. Please don’t let me be last, God. Michael Toner looked like he was going to barf today during band, because that’s when the tuba auditions were. From what he told me, he’s got Luis beat. He said Luis did scales one octave. Toner messed up a few, but did them three octaves. He’s the better musician, so I hope he gets it. The only thing wrong with that is that I know for a fact that if Luis gets a bad chair, he’ll do what he does. Switch, or in this case, leave entirely. Which would leave Toner by himself, which he doesn’t want. Now that the dreaded audition is over with, I can talk about my day. I don’t think much happened. I got an A on Mr. Wilson’s Pudd’nhead Wilson test, with an eighty out of eighty-five. I beat Paul, even. I also got full points on the vocabulary quiz. I have such a good grade in that class. It’s amazing. Now we’re doing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Apparently “duality” is important, because now Mr. Wilson is obsessed with that instead of “irony”. I don’t know what to do now. Worry, I guess. November 11, 2006 Well, the verdict on how long our grandparents are staying has changed from “until further notice” to “indefinitely”. Apparently moving them out Seattle isn’t working out so good. There’s a whole thing with Aunt Moe and Uncle Frank, so Dad’s working on getting them to move here to Ann Arbor. Right behind us, in fact. That would be really cool. The Beaulieus live nowhere near to us. Uncle Mike lives halfway around the world, Aunt Moe lives in Seattle, and our grandparents used to live in New Jersey. The rest of Dad’s siblings are drug addicts or drunks, so we don’t want to be around them. It’s kind of interesting having them around. It means I can’t clash with David or anyone else, because we’re trying “to keep conflict to a minimum”. I’ve been trying to not play loud music and to help out. I hope things work out with the Beaulieus, because things are known go wrong with our family. I suppose Irish and French Canadian isn’t a happy mix in terms of judgment. Today is Saturday, but it really feels like Sunday for some reason. Maybe because we went to church. They didn’t sing anything good. Michael, David, and I started cracking up at the beginning, because the lady leading the songs sounded EXACTLY like this skit from Saturday Night Live. In the skit, she sings all these popular songs in this falsetto, opera-like voice. We lost it. It took me a minute to figure out what they were laughing at, but I cracked up, too, once it hit me. We seem to lose it a lot in church. There was this one time in church where they brought in a guest priest guy. Unfortunately for us, he sounded pretty much exactly like Seinfeld’s presentation of George Steinbrenner. To top it all off, Dad fell asleep with his head straight back. He was snoring. Seriously. His homily was also going absolutely nowhere. First he was going to the Philippines, and it reminded him of the time where he went to Philadelphia and they had glass windows that let out the heat and he was comfortable so that wasn’t much of a sacrifice. The whole thing was giant, run-on sentences like that. One of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen in church. And then there was that guy from Africa who said “brothers and sisters” like “umbrellas and sisters”. He mumbled through his homily in an accent and then would shout, “Jesus Christ!” every once in awhile, freak out everyone in the congregation and then we would go back to not being able to tell what he was saying. Church always did have it’s bright points. Aside from the music, which I actually like a lot of the time. Great, I make it sound like I don’t believe in God. I do, I really do, but I’ll never be the hard-core church type, like Grandmom for example. This song reminds me of Michael. It’s pretty much the same thing that he once said to me. Whenever I listen to it, it’s always his voice telling me to keep going, not Daniel Powter’s. “Bad Day” was extremely popular for some reason last spring, then it died. Maybe that song will help me once Michael leaves for college, which, quite honestly, I am totally and completely dreading and have been totally and completely dreading since I knew what college was. I never want him to leave, because I know that we’ll never be as close as we are now when he leaves for the Air Force Academy or wherever. I want to see him every day. I guess AIM will help us here. Whatever. It’s not the same. I also like this song, “As Lovers Go” , Dashboard Confessional. I don’t know why. It sort of reminds me of Amy. Maybe it’s the line, “This is easy as lovers go.” She always told me love sucks. Damn you, Fairy March. I’ll be true I’ll be useful I’ll be cavalier I’ll be yours my dear And I’ll belong to you If you just let me through This is easy as lovers go So don’t complicate it by hesitating This is wonderful as loving goes This is tailor-made, what’s the sense in waiting? These lyrics keep getting longer, don’t they? Well, that’s a damn good song. When I look back in like five months or so, it’ll probably remind me of this time, right here. Whatever, “this time” is. The time last May, when I started this thing, has songs that remind me of it. “Never Let You Go” being one of them, “Unwritten” being another one. I was different even back then. Wow. Bob was right, this thing is interesting. You can really see how you change. Okay, I think I should go. Bedtime, maybe. November 14, 2006 I’m going to get my ass launched out of Concert Band if I don’t quit talking. Mr. Roberts actually screamed at me personally today. I swear, that man is jumping on us a lot more lately. On everyone, really. He kicked David Barrie out the other day because he “didn’t like his body language”. Luckily for me I caught my grades, because he had put on the report card, “Must stop disruptive behavior.” I’m not disruptive! I just laugh at what they say! I had an interesting experience in Earth Science today. It all started a few days ago, when a good friend of Amy and myself named Douda told her that a senior liked her. He told me that his name was Ethan. I went back to him today in Earth Science to get a last name, and he said to me, “Can you keep a secret from Amy?” Where have you been, Douda? Of course not. “Yeah, probably.” He glanced around shiftily. “I’ll tell you after class.” “No,” I said, walking down the row to his seat. “Tell me now.” He wouldn’t tell me right away, but he did say, “I have to tell you something. And you can’t tell Amy.” “Is it, like, serious?” I asked, a little worried. Douda considered. “It’s serious to me.” “Why don’t you just write it down?” I suggested. “Then I can read it.” He nodded, agreeing, and then tore off a sheet of paper. He wrote something I couldn’t see, folded it up a few times, then handed it to me. I opened it. Well... it kinda goes like this. I kinda like Amy, too. I stared at the paper, dumbfounded. Douda? Likes Amy? “Please don’t tell Amy,” he begged. I nodded and said, “Okay. Really?” Douda nodded and repeated, “Please don’t tell her.” “How much?” I asked, still trying to get over it. Thinking, he said, “On a scale of one to ten... about a seven-point-five.” “Ten being the most severe?” “Yeah.” Well, that was... interesting news. And yeah. I told Amy. I feel horrible, but I thought she deserved to know. I would be perfectly all right with her and Douda going out. Douda’s the nicest guy in the world (in fact he reminds me of Fuzz) and he’s exactly my age. Too bad she doesn’t like him that way. I had an okay rest of the day. It was okay, except for me getting decently screamed at during band. Blake found us some music for our trumpet quartet. Good ol’ Blake. He’s good to have. And I’m going to stop talking to them in band. I want to move up to Symphony Band, so I can’t afford for him to hate me. Latin was probably the best, of course. Toner showed up late because he was getting his uniform. The guys are so lucky. They get these nice tuxes, but the girls get the stupid dresses that either make your arms look fat or like you’ve been lifting weights. I came under the weightlifter heading, but still. I hate that dress. Right, Latin. Garrett and I shifted back one row because of the overhead projector. Then we analyzed verbs, and I finally learned my participles. That’s one less thing I’ll fail on the synopsis. Garrett and I did the verbs together, also known as I identified them and he told me how they were spelled so I could identify them. Well, he’s not all bad. Unfortunately, I tend to lose my train of thought whenever I meet his eyes. I decided recently that Garrett is the best-looking guy I’ve ever known personally. It really sucks I’m the age I am. Just for the record. Okay, maybe I’ll do my homework, or maybe not. I need a night off. November 15, 2006 It’s only four or so in the afternoon, but it feels so much later than that. That’s probably because it’s all cloudy. Good. I like clouds. I suppose I’m in the right state, then. Other than maybe Seattle. Or Alaska. In band I kept my mouth shut. It was hard, but I did it. I made sure to get the ticket money in on time, because I don’t want to give Roberts any more ammo. Hell, I’ve turned everything in on time. So how did I end up with a B+, not an A? Probably because I talk to much. Damn Roberts. English was great today. It was really the most interesting lesson yet. Mr. Wilson was talking about psychology and the id, the ego, and the superego. Well, he should know. He was a psychologist himself for four years. We talked about Freud and his dream interpretation. Too bad he traced everything back to sex. Now that I look back, that’s not so off for teenagers. I know I’ve had those kind of dreams. I already knew a little about the id, ego, and superego because of Garrett, who was talking about it one day. The id is the animal instinct, the ego is your sense of self and rational part, and the superego is the moral conscience and tries to create the perfect self. I think I’m functioning more on the ego than anything, because I’m very rational. Psychology is really interesting. Maybe it’s my calling. Who knows. Speech was not so great. I busted my ass trying to get all fifty-seven of Mr. Drake’s flashcards done in fifty-five minutes. I got it done by some miracle or a time continuum or something. It reminded me why I don’t take nights off, because then I fall behind. Hurley owes me his life or something by now. I swear he copies me waaaaay too much. Good thing Mr. Drake didn’t collect them or anything. He had us draw pictures of fossils and geodes and the like in the extra space on the cards. The Walrus drew something resembling a Goldfish in a square for “fossil”. I laughed. Ooh, we have a test in there tomorrow! Latin was also good. I think I actually passed my participle F.L.A.I., which is a miracle. Eh, once you get it, it’s not that hard. We exhausted Mr. Julius, so he gave us the last ten minutes to talk and he played “Stairway to Heaven”. I had my trumpet, so Garrett played it. “You know, my spit was on that mouthpiece,” I informed him. He shrugged and just wiped the mouthpiece. He got fingerprints all over my nice trumpet. Oh well. He can. Toner really needs to stop doing that thing where he drags his fingernails across the chalkboard. I honestly like him, even if the rest of the class thinks he’s annoying and Garrett claims to not like him. Hey, maybe Garrett will become the new Luis (for Toner- hopefully not for me). If Luis quits then he can adopt Garrett as his hero. I would approve that one. Garrett is way more honorable than Luis Anderson ever was. I have a trumpet lesson tonight, and of course I forgot my music at school. I was going to try that piece Blake got, Uno Continuo. I’m looking forward to working with those guys. I guess it would be weird if Blake wasn’t there, because it would be all Clauge people who have a history and such. I know Blake came onto the scene when I did, so, no worries. And Blake’s cool now. I guess I’ll just have to ask my trumpet guy if he has the music. Time to do last night’s math and tonight’s math. Damn simplistic geometric proofs. November 16, 2006 I’m going to kill Mr. Roberts if he doesn’t put out our chair audition results soon. He might kill me first. Who knows. I’m being really good in there now so he won’t hate me. Today was actually Caleb’s birthday. The lucky guy is sixteen. He can get his license and everything. Matt and I attempted to play Happy Birthday and slaughtered it. The only song I can play without music is the song I use for a warm-up song. It’s the song from Shella in Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. I’ve been nailing it lately and it was hard at first. Hopefully I did well on Mr. Drake’s test. It can be hard to tell at times. There were some things I had to guess at. The lab packet was also due today. I realized recently, Mr. Drake’s style for turning in stuff is just like Mrs. Goebbel’s (with a packet and everything), but he’s sneakier about it. It’s going to end up being about ninety points or so. Hurley had to copy mine, because he has no work ethic. I wouldn’t have let him, but he folded his hands and did puppy dog eyes. How the hell did he know that would work? There’s no way I could resist that. I couldn’t believe the grade I had when I checked Mr. Kim’s posting. I walked over and took a glance at the sheet, expecting a B or something. I read: 113681 (my student number): 100.00%- A+. I stared. No way. It may be only out of fifty-five points, but still! I haven’t gotten that kind of grade in forever! In math, too. I suck at math. Or do I? I guess we’ll never know. Lunch was okay. I didn’t really get to hang out with anyone due to Amy’s locker. I went up to her and she was kicking her locker. “It won’t open!” she said furiously. “Let me try,” I said. “Locks like me.” I spun the dial. 25-40-0. No go. I tried again. Nope. Nada. Amy was seriously pissed off because she had to go to her AIDS in Africa thing and the girl running it would scream if she didn’t show. “Go,” I said. “I’ll mess with it.” Amy told me I was a good friend and ran. It finally opened about five minutes later. Turns out her coat had been blocking the lock part. The only bad part about that is now I was standing next to an open locker with nothing to do. So I sat down. I’m sure it looked very odd, with one sophomore sitting alone next to an open locker. Mr. Julius walked by and gave me a “umm... what are you doing?” look. “This looks sketchy, but it’s not, don’t worry,” I told him. He laughed. The incident made me think a little. Maybe a locker isn’t so bad to have. I should just hide stuff in there, stuff I don’t want people to see. I know the first thing that’s going in there. My first quarter grades. Mom will kill me if she sees the comment Roberts wrote. Ashley got the same comment: “Must stop disruptive behavior.” Caleb got, “Must remove learning distractors,” which we agreed sounds like Mr. Roberts wants Caleb to shoot Ashley and me or something. We’re watching another movie in Latin. This time, it’s Helen of Troy. I like it so far, even though I don’t totally get what’s going on. Mr. Julius says he’s going to explain everything. I hope he does, because otherwise I’m going to be lost. I should have asked him for a synopsis to practice. I’m not doing very well with those right now. Maybe I’ll do homework. I have a little to do tonight, but not much. November 17, 2006 Well, I had another disastrous driving experience with Dad tonight. I really suck, according to him. I made a few mistakes backing out and then I did kind of a bad park job at the bank, and he totally lit into me. He made me want to die. I’m not kidding. It hurt the most because he’s totally right! I do suck! After the bank, he made me take him to the store. While he was there, I had a really scary thought. It would be so easy just to ditch. Leave with the car and be out of there. I don’t really know where I would go, but it would be so simple. Turn the key in the ignition and be gone. I wish I could. I hate my parents a lot of the time. Everyone’s a critic in my family. Is it 2009 yet? The rest of the day was normal. The end. I’m leaving. November 18, 2006 I only have one day of school next week, while those other suckers have two. We’re leaving for New Hampshire on Tuesday, so we get to skip. It really kind of sucks. I like school. Well, at least I get to stay up Monday and watch Headlines (the absolute best part of The Tonight Show). I haven’t been able to watch it since summer. My dreams were odd last night. I dreamed that Michael joined a secret society that only wore black. I was somehow dragged into a car with him and he explained that the society was anti-arts and anti-theater. “Are they anti-God?” I asked for some reason. Michael told me they weren’t, but they thought of God in a different way. I think I might of joined up, because my hair and clothes were different by the end of the dream. In the beginning, Mom and I were in the basement, freaking out, and trying to get my cell to work, because the society was in our house. I kind of want to Google it and see if there’s any society like that. Nothing much has been going on today. In the interests of maintaining my 100.00% in Geometry, I did the work on my math packet that needed to be done, plus the extra credit. I found out that Blink-182 isn’t the best band to listen to while doing homework. The songs are so catchy you want to sing along, not do homework. I’ve decided I’m driving with Mom until Dad works out his life. He’s been really stressed because of our grandparents moving in, so I think that’s why he was such an asshole to me last night. Until they get their own place, I’m going to be with Mom. Dad’s a real bear sometimes. That’s all for now, folks. November 27, 2006 Dang, it’s been awhile. Our vacation was awesome. We went out to New Hampshire for Thanksgiving. You’ll never believe it, but I got sick AGAIN. I always get sick when I go out there. Some kind of airborne bacteria from New England, maybe? So, as a result, I’m at home on a Monday afternoon and feeling just fine. I suppose it’s my own fault. I felt fine this morning but I was really tired, so I told Mom I still felt sick. Right now, I’m supposed to be in band. Amy’s in math, same with Hurley, I’m fairly certain Garrett’s in TV Production or whatever that class is called, and everyone else of consequence is in band. We probably got chairs today. I should call someone and ask what chair I got. Knowing Ashley and Caleb, they’re probably going to pull a trick on me and say that I got last chair. That would be just like them. I’ve been hoping that Toner gets his rightful chair. I would love to see Luis go down in flames. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t love it, but Toner deserves it more than he does. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Luis got last again this year?” I asked my trumpet buddies one day. They cracked up, because that’s just bad luck. Or lack of musicianship. I wonder how many labs I’ve missed for Mr. Drake now. I know I missed one last Tuesday and he most likely gave us one or two or a million today. Okay, this is it. No more sick days. I don’t care if I’m dying of Ebola, I’ll be going in from now on. This reminds me of summer, when I would complain that I was bored like every single day. Just for the record, I’m writing this part AFTER I wrote the other part. So, I got Aunt Mo to drive me down to Huron so I could “get my homework”. I just wanted to go to Latin, truth be told. I asked Toner if we had gotten chairs. He said that we had. “What chair am I?” I asked in a panic. I swear I saw Garrett roll his eyes. “You’re down there,” he said. “Huh?” “You know that freshman that was last?” “Peter?” “No.” “Jay?” “Yeah,” he said. “He’s one above you.” “Are you being serious?” I asked, swearing inwardly. “What chair is Caleb?” “Third, I think.” “What chair is Ashley?” “Ashley, I think, is fifth.” “What chair is Blake?” “Blake? Which one is Blake?” “Blake Barnes?” “Oh. He’s first.” “So what am I?” I asked, sufficiently panicking. “I think you’re either third or second to last.” I tried not to swear and got the homework from Mr. Julius, which was to study the verb “to be”. “I’ve got to find Mr. MacArthur,” I said. “You should just find out your chair tomorrow. And hit him if he’s joking tomorrow,” said Garrett. “Nah,” I answered. “I gotta find MacArthur.” “Doesn’t he have a class now?” Garrett asked. “Yeah, but Mr. Roberts runs Symphony Band. Goodbye, all,” I added. “See you guys tomorrow.” Garrett hit me with his bottle as a way of goodbye and I sprinted out the door. So, there I was, running like an idiot down to the band room. I couldn’t find MacArthur, but I came back to talk to Mr. Roberts in person after the final bell rang. I went straight up to the podium and Mr. Roberts asked, “Here for the cookie dough orders?” “Cookie dough orders? That was today? I actually came for my chair.” I decided to get the orders, just so I wouldn’t have to come back. “So what general area am I in?” I asked, trying to keep it friendly. Mr. Roberts has every right to be annoyed with me, given how I’ve been acting up lately. He gave me a look, trying to remember. “I think you’re fifth.” “Fifth? Okay. I’m going to kill Toner,” I added. “He told me that I was last.” Mr. Roberts smiled. “I heard he got first,” I said. Roberts nodded. Okay, maybe I should have known Toner was messing with me. But he said it with such a straight face! I should have asked Garrett if he was screwing with me or not. I should have expected a trick. So, anyway, we went to the uniform room to pick up the cookie dough. Amy walked by and I said hi to her. Mr. Roberts handed me my order and was about to wave me on my way when I said what was probably the unthinkable to him. “Hey, Mr. Roberts? I’m sorry if I’m a pain sometimes,” I said with proper shame. “I really don’t mean to be.” By the look on his face, I think he was glad he was finally getting some respect. “Okay, then,” he said. He went off on a thing about how he knows we’re bored, so that’s probably why we talk. I have to agree with the man. “I’m working on it. Really,” I said. He smiled at me and nodded and went down the hall. I’m glad I did it. Seriously. Maybe now we’ll be on better terms. I think he was really happy with me. Okay, now I’m seriously done. ‘Bye. November 28, 2006 THANK THE LORD! I’M SIXTH CHAIR! I found out today. This is the new order: Blake, Laja, Caleb, Jay Bouma, Zach, me, Ashley, Matt, Henry, Peter, and David. Mr. Roberts actually found a way to split up the team of me, Blake, Ashley, and Caleb. I felt sorry for Zach. He tanked. We’re not allowed to challenge for awhile, either, because our auditions “were not satisfactory”. He threatened to kick us all off the trip, but he needs us. I pieced together the story of the trumpet chair auditions from a combination of Matt and Toner. Apparently the man got really pissed off. I was so proud of Blake. We always knew he would go far. Man, I love that song, “Days Go By”. I finally did steal it from David’s CD, along with “Bless the Broken Road”. I heard that one right before ninth grade started, so it reminds me of how I was freaked out of Interlochen. I never figured David for a Rascal Flatts fan, though. I realized a few weeks ago that “Days Go By” is Garrett’s song. I hear the beginning, I think of him. I actually didn’t miss that much yesterday. I got the homework from Mr. Drake, which isn’t that bad. It’s just the stuff from the science book, and I can copy the lab and the notes from someone. Mr. Drake is really understanding about absences, unless you skip his class. Then he gets kind of pissed off, but I can see why. “Lack of respect” is what Mr. Roberts would lecture on. I let it go this morning with Toner, because he honestly did think I got the chair he said I got. No wonder he said it with such a straight face. I asked him if Luis was second to last or if he had totally gone down in flames. Apparently Blogin auditions today, so it’s kind of To Be Determined. Blogin wants to beat Toner, but I can’t see that happening. Toner’s really good, for a freshman and a tuba player. I know it’s probably evil to wish last chair on someone, but he deserves it for working the system. I think I did really good on the verb “to be” today in Latin. I just think I may have switched up pluperfect and imperfect subjunctives. Garrett saved my ass. While Mr. Julius was doing something, he threw his flash cards at me and said, “Quiz me.” I have almost a photographic memory, so if I see something once, I can remember it. If Garrett hadn’t forced me to quiz him, there’s no way I would have passed that sucker. He actually gave me a hug today. It was, well, nice. I was standing in my place that I stand in the morning, with Anne and Cam. I was talking to Matt and trying to find out through the grapevine exactly what chair all the trumpets were. After we got done with that, I glanced up and Garrett was right there. He opened his arms and grinned and said, “Morning hug!” I accepted the morning hug and hugged him tight. Hell, I couldn’t help it. I know it means absolutely nothing, since he’s the kind of cuddly guy that gives all his friends hugs, but still, it was good. In other news, Amy came to the conclusion that she still has a thing for Paul. Isn’t that lovely? I already told her, “Amy. This doesn’t make you look good.” She told him that she liked him last June, hooked up with Alex, and ditched him. It would reflect badly on her if she was like, “Oh, yeah, Paul? I still like you.” Argh. I doubt at this rate we’ll ever have a peaceful year. Okay, I think I have some homework. Peace.

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