• August 7, 2006 I’m guessing Amy’s back from Paris, because she called. I tried to call her back, but she won’t pick up her damn phone. Nothings wrong, at least I don’t think. She’s probably trying to get through to Alex right now. That would make sense. They are going out, after all. I wonder if she’s ever going to get through to Paul. He needs to know. Eight days until Interlochen. I can’t wait. The people in my house are more focused on Michael these days and his ROTC essays. That’s what they’re doing right now, in fact. I’ve been kicked out. It kind of stings, because I’m kind of good with the words. For a sophomore, that is. Turns out something was kind of wrong. Alex (indirectly) called Amy fat. She’s thinking about dumping him. I told her to think about it before she did anything and to just move on and forgive him, because he didn’t mean it. It was some comment about how he could lay on her stomach this time. She took it the wrong way. He apologized, but she’s really down about it. She started comparing him to Zach, who always treated her really well. I tried to impress the idea of them being different people. From the stuff she says, it sounds like Zach was a really great boyfriend. I’ve heard a bunch of stories from Amy. Zach and I don’t exactly talk about it, because it’s always a bit uncomfortable to discuss a relationship that no longer is with your ex’s best friend. He does sound awesome, though. Amy accused me of being obsessed with them today. I don’t think I am. I just talk to them when Amy isn’t present (i.e. off in a foreign country, at camp, etc.) and I’m bored. I think it’s just the old argument about how I’m better with them than she is. She got the obsession thing because Zach and I were talking about how he lives in the middle of nowhere. He gave me an address and I looked it up on Google maps. She was a tad speechless. I can see how she might get that, but I’m not. They’re my friends. Sort of. That’s it. At least I hope that’s it. I don’t think there’s anything more. Overall, today was much better than yesterday. My own father called me no names. I’m about three-fourths of the way through Invisible Man. It’s really getting good. Mom was a bit flabbergasted when I told her it’s not that hard. She apparently found it really hard. Well, I suppose the symbolism can keep you guessing for hours. I’m getting most of it, though. Technically, everything could be a symbol. The foods he eats and the weather are the main symbols in the book, though. And the people he’s around are symbols. I wonder if they ever give this guy a name. “You’re Beautiful” has been stuck in my head. That’s a miserable, miserable song. I don’t know why it’s been so popular. Okay, it’s not all that bad. It just gets annoying. Amy says it’s the equivalent of telling someone that they’re ugly in a beautiful voice. I can do the voice now. At least the “My life is brilliant” part. I think I have a halfway talent for voices. I did my James Blunt for Caroline and Amy one day. They thought it was really funny. I should probably go. I’m going to go check out my contact, because it’s kicking up. Time = 7:16 P.M. EDST. My life is brilliant. Haha. August 8, 2006 In exactly a week, we’ll be on our way to Interlochen. I wonder who’s going to be on my squad. Hopefully Ashley or Caleb. They make me laugh a lot. I’m really going to miss Amy this year in Concert Band. I wish she hadn’t tried out or I was good enough for Symphony Band. I was having some strange dreams last night. It was one of the longest dreams I’ve ever had. I dreamed first that I was making some kind of pudding or something. It had sour cream, cheese, and milk in it. I was beating it and wondering how I was going to make this actually look like a pudding and then I looked down and it was how I wanted it. All the time Michael’s friend Peter Helvie was there giving me direction. I also had Anne of St. Francis over in the dream. I was trying to make the dessert and spend time with her but it wasn’t really working out. She got kind of mad because I didn’t hang out with her but she wouldn’t tell me that she was mad and kept pretending like everything was cool. There was also another part where I was wearing a black shirt and watching Gladiator. I was really hot. Like, about to have a heat stroke hot. I couldn’t breathe. I were at some kind of camp and I was watching the movie in the some kind of cabin with some other people. I’m fairly certain Zach was there. Then I was fighting some moving target with a bunch of other people under the arch. For some reason it reminded me of the Forest Haven in Wind Waker. We kept yelling challenges to this thing and it kept trying to figure out who was saying what. I shouted something and it looked right at me but it didn’t do anything. I was flat on my back and using my legs to kick at whatever this thing was. Then it was over. Everyone got up. I had the feeling that there was no more danger. People started leaving. I went up to Zach, who was there and climbing out of a drain for some reason, and said, “You’re the best, man.” He was wearing some kind of armor. He grinned at me and then kissed me. It was kind of a long kiss. I kept leaving and coming back because I kept dropping this earring or something. Finally I just decided, screw it. I was sitting on the grass of the arch/Forest Haven and said, “Wow, I feel like the most disloyal best friend ever.” I figured it was wrong for me to be making out with Amy’s ex. He was understanding and explained that things had been different for Amy and Alex. It made sense at the time, but I really don’t see how that’s related. Then I woke up. Yeah, I don’t plan to tell Amy that one. She already thinks I’m obsessed with those guys. Hopefully it doesn’t mean anything, although this is the second dream I’ve had about Zach in a month. Whatever. I refuse to get a crush on Zach. He’s almost socialist and completely atheist. That would not last long. I got to go talk to someone giving me a job today. Apparently they’re leaving tomorrow, so I have to do something. I think I’m going to do that now. Time = 4:09 P.M. EDST. ‘Bye. August 9, 2006 I saw the best movie today, The World Trade Center. It was really very powerful. David didn’t like it for some reason, but it was still really good. It was actually a true story about these two cops that get trapped under rubble in the ruins of the World Trade Center when they get called in to help. I didn’t realize that the two people were real people until they said so at the end. They were numbers nineteen and eighteen out of twenty people to ever be pulled out of the World Trade Center. They both had families, so it was good that they got out. Michael woke me up today by moving my blankets back and forth. I swear, he is the only one that could ever get away with that. I am not a happy person during the morning. David already got his head bitten off trying to get me up a few days ago. Michael can get away with stuff that I’d never let anyone else do. He was shouting, “Wake up! Wake up!” the whole time. I didn’t get to sleep until about four last night, so I was understandably tired. I’m kind of tired now, though. Maybe I’ll actually get to sleep at a regular bedtime tonight. Only six more days until Interlochen, five if you don’t count today (which I don’t). In that case, it’s only four until registration. Too bad I won’t get to see my sophomore buddies, because they’ve changed it to ninth and tenth graders at the same time, and eleventh and twelfth graders at the same time. I guess they’re my junior buddies, now, anyway. I find myself wondering if Luis grew out his hair again. Maybe he’ll be a trumpet again, at least for marching season. He’s a good guy, even if I don’t like him anymore. And I guess he’s happy where he is. That’s enough for right now. He was really ashamed of being the chair he was. He made jokes, but he was ashamed. I could tell. I wonder what our sophomore year is going to be like. I’m actually going to try to do decently good this year. Without it being a contest, like Michael told me to. Because I know I’m smart. I know that. I realized it when I saw that Invisible Man wasn’t hard. It means I’ve got some kind of brain in there. Which is good. Going to the library is getting sort of hard. This creepy guy down the street stares every time I go by. I have to go around to Colony every time now. I don’t really feel like getting raped. When I finally took the safe way around and got to the library, I saw this guy. He grinned at me and held up a cigarette and gesticulated lighting up. Damn guys. Time = 6:30 P.M. EDST. ‘Bye now. August 10, 2006 I finally found the two Bon Jovi songs I’ve wanted, and without Michael finding out I went through his CDs. “Never Say Die” and “Last Cigarette” were on two different CDs, but I found them. Hope I put everything back where it was, otherwise I’m going to be found out. They remind me of the time in about February, when I was really getting a hold on my life. Me and Cam were fighting a bit, but that was okay with me. I had found some of the best friends a person can have. I was happy for the most part. Alex is on, but away. I have my away message up, too. It’s something that Uncle Press says in Pendragon, “There are no problems, only challenges.” Amy says it sounds like a bad shrink, but I don’t care. That’s actually one of my favorite quotes. It’s up there with “The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first” and “It is said that if someone lined up all the cars in the world, bumper to bumper, someone would be dumb enough to try and pass them”. I wonder where Zach is. I haven’t talked to him for a couple days. Well, I suppose he has more of a life than I do, with a work ethic and everything. I’ve found he’s usually on at about four in the afternoon to anywhere in the late evening. It’s a bit different when he’s at school, because they go, like, eight to five or something. I remember all this from when we first met, back in February. He told me at some time or another. I’ve decided to discontinue the time thing. I don’t think it’s really serving any purpose. Except to show that I’m up late a lot of the time. Time is not important, at least not here. It started as a side comment when I used to write this in a book. I started this on Good Friday. I remember that. It started as a vent for the Amy/Walrus feud. Luckily that’s sort of died down. I really appreciate that. Fuzz and I were about to go out of our minds. My story is doing good. Matthias is trying to attract as much attention to himself as possible to get himself captured by Fourth Ring. He does this by going into a seedy bar and being annoying. Mordechai is the commentator from his pocket. Louis and Jess have already escaped with Alex’s help. Jess is now attacking Louis to get him to tell her what his secret is. It has to do with his sister, and how she attempted the same thing. She contracted lupus after she lost. She lives with their grandmother, because their parents don’t want to care for a kid with lupus. They don’t even like each other that much. Louis says they had them, “Back when they actually kind of liked each other.” His parents have no idea where he is, by the way. He ran away. I need to have a regular sleep schedule. I’m going to Interlochen in five days. Well, I’m sure that will keep me awake for awhile, what with all the marching and everything. I think I’m going to get Michael’s old friend Josh as my squad leader. That’s good- he’s not a bad guy. Not quite the weedhead Peter Winters was. I found that out later. Actually, I inferred it, since he used to hang around Renton. All of Renton’s close friends tend to be on the weed a little. Michael hated them both. He thought they were a bunch of idiots, even though Renton really liked him (perhaps a bit too much... if you know what I mean). Well, Zach’s on, but “looking for a hotel in Mississippi” apparently. I do remember that they girl he likes lives down there. Maybe that’s what this is about. All three of us have away messages up. You could say I’m jumping on the bandwagon, no pun intended. Hope they’re all back at some point. Okay, I go bye now. August 11, 2006 I woke up at seven this morning, wide awake. I don’t know why. I got up and walked around a little. I met David, using our downstairs bathroom. I eventually got back to sleep and woke up at quarter to three. I supposed I’ll have to start getting up soon enough over here. School starts in less than a month, and Interlochen is in three days. That should get me back on the right time zone, because right now, I’m sort of on Tokyo time or something like that. I’m tired now, but I have my reasons. I worked at the Emmanuel House for a couple hours. I was working with the nicest lady. She helped me out a lot. She was really pretty cool for someone who was in their late thirties. She had a little daughter that came with her, named Abigail. It was really a pretty easy shift. It was pretty much just bring stuff to the people that live there and eat dinner. I didn’t eat, but I had food at about 7:30. It was my first meal of the day. I know, that’s probably not healthy, but whatever. Mom commented today that my eating habits had really changed (hopefully for the better). I think I’m going to be camping out in Michael’s room tonight, if he stays over at his pal Aaron’s. I wonder if they’re actually there. October of last year was known to us as “The Kegger Month”. People threw parties like every weekend. Michael went to most of them. He said he was going to Aaron’s, and Aaron said he was coming here. It was really a great system. I promised Michael that I would never tell. He worked hard last year, so I guess he deserved a little fun. I don’t plan on ever telling Mom and Dad. He told me not to, even after he leaves for college. I don’t know what they would do to him, but I don’t want to know. August 13, 2006 We leave for Interlochen the day after tomorrow. I am the happiest person alive. They’re going to have to make up a new word for what I am, in terms of boredom. Amy says she doesn’t really want to go, since she just got used to doing nothing all day. She’s only been home about five weeks out of twelve. I’ve been home almost the whole damn summer. I want to see the Huron people again. I strive to be more mature this year. I have to grow out of the freshie image, because I’m not anymore. I hope we get the same cabins. I liked my cabin last year. It had some people I really like in it. I want the bunk above and across Jessica again. We had fun with that. Jing Han was directly below me. She was also really nice to me, because I was scared as hell about coming to Interlochen. They gave me some advice about which teachers I wanted and didn’t want. I sort of became Jessica’s freshman. I went to her to explain all the idiotic things that go on at Huron. I was talking to Alex and Amy today. Alex sounds all right. He was making a casserole, which was really funny. I told Amy a story where Cam and I got chased down the hall by three huge black chicks. It really happened, too. That was just freaky. We ran like hell. We didn’t touch on much. I did most of the talking, as usual. They were both probably doing other stuff. I type the fastest and I’m the most talkative, so the chat usually fills up with me. I can’t wait to go. It’s going to be a lot of fun. Amy and I will be competing for Most Improved Marcher. I have no rhythm, and that’s why I suck. Amy has no coordination, and that’s why she sucks. It was funny when we got put next to each other during the school year. We crashed into each other a lot. She split my lip once. Actually, it was my fault. I took one extra step and crashed into her, ramming my mouthpiece back into my lip, which split. Mr. Roberts’ line for marching season is, “Okay, people, let’s line it back up” with this sigh, like, “Wow, they really suck.” Which we do. I got some clothes and shoes today for Interlochen. I hope Roberts will let me get away with wind pants again for marching. I plan to ask him tomorrow. I got away with it last year, but maybe he was cutting me slack because I was a freshman. I do remember people wearing sweats, though. Oh well. I’ll ask. I’m out of here. Dinner’s almost ready. August 14, 2006 It was a lovely registration. I talked to many people today. It was so good to be back. It was dead boring, but I did get to see the people I haven’t seen for awhile. The new freshmen are taller than me, even. I think the class of ‘09 is stunted as a whole. It was sophomores and freshmen registering at 9:30 A.M. I saw Cam there, and I hugged him. I realized that he’ll always be an old friend, even if we’re not as close anymore. I heard the phrase, “Oh, my God, Claire, you got contacts!” about six million times. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since I met Amy. I’m just glad I look totally different now. I was bad-looking last year. Now I’m better-looking and proud of it. I think Amy was supposed to be my friend so that I could change my look. Well, it worked out. I wear better jeans now, at least. Speaking of pants, there was good news. Mr. Roberts okayed my wind pants. I asked him in the line. I didn’t want to ask MacArthur. He scares freshmen. His opener is “Who are you?” in this accusatory tone and the ever-creepy MacArthur smile. I think he has what David has, though. He just strikes me as that kind of person. I would ask him, but I think it’s considered a rude question. I’m hoping that Alex will come back (he has an away message up) before the night ends. I wanted to say goodbye to him. I already talked to Zach. He got banned from the computer for a week along with getting his cell taken away. I thought he was going away, but he told me the real story. He took his mom’s Honda around the block for a quick spin. It was the highlight of my day. If I did that, people would already be attending my funeral. Well, I suppose Zach’s a little older than me, but only by nine months. We agreed that we would talk on Tuesday, when we’re both back. He’s going to Mississippi. Probably to see that girl he likes. I wonder if she’s really liberal too. Can’t wait until tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight, either. I could not sleep at all last night. I didn’t look at the clock but I bet anything it was three or four. I always turn my clock away so I don’t have to worry about the time and how many hours of sleep I’m going to get. Also, the shadow against the lamp sort of looks like an angel. I know it’s dumb, but it helps me feel safer for some reason. My limbs are extremely mosquito-bitten. They itch like hell. I’m going to be scarred for awhile. My feet are the worst. I have two huge bites there but scratching your feet always feels weird. That’s why athlete’s foot really sucks. I don’t get that as much, now that I don’t go to karate anymore. I hope that never comes out that I went to the place I did. I warned Anne of St. Francis not to tell. It can drop your social standing to that of the average piece of lint. Keith Hafner is a shameful icon. I should know. It’s going to be kind of weird, going a place where Zach has been. I know the whole time I’ll be wondering if he was ever in the place that I am currently at. He told me to look out for his dorm, Hemingway. The cabins are apparently crappier than the dorms. Well, I suppose that’s a given. Dorms tend to be nicer, especially since the people living there are there for a lot longer than we are. We have the same cabin. Jessica told me at registration. We hugged and then went our separate ways. I can’t wait to go. I miss Huron and the people. It’s funny, sometimes I think I’m really people shy, and other times I can’t get enough of people. I like people that I’m comfortable with. I’m really better with some guys than some girls. I think I’m better with Alex and Zach than with Lenel, although we get along. We talk about how bad Amy and Alex’s relationship has been on us. It’s an endless topic. Last night, we were talking about that. I told her that I didn’t like this because I always have to be careful about what I say now. Amy tends to take stuff concerning Alex the wrong way. Lenel told me to treat everything like it’s the same, like nothing is different. I tried that and it was a near disaster. Amy told me to stop it. She said I was being flirty (how can you be flirty if the person isn’t even there?) and that he was hers. I know that. I don’t want him. I’m going to have to take that up with Lenel. Well, this’ll probably be it for five days. I’ll be full of news when I get back on Monday. Peace out. August 21, 2006 I guess I was right. I have all sorts of new stories. One is that I won an award. I won the Susan Oliver Award, also known as the Dumbass Award. I fell into a mud puddle but saved my ice cream. I did ask Mr. Roberts not to announce it, though. I guess I couldn’t stand it if they didn’t think it was funny. I just told him that I can’t be called out in a group, which he bought. And which is partly true. For a second I was afraid he wasn’t going to buy it because I’m usually pretty outgoing when I see him. But no worries, it was all good. My squad sucked this year. I sort of missed the old squad, the one with Peter Winters and Josh. They were cool, even if they weren’t the best squad leaders. I had this tiny Asian chick who didn’t say much, plus her assistant, which was none other than Zach Baker, a.k.a. Jessica’s boyfriend. This was a bit significant because I’m a good friend of Jessica’s, and Zach doesn’t really like me that much. I think he does now, though. He actually waved goodbye to me when he was going home after the bus ride home. Zach almost seemed to be afraid to give me any compliments, because it would be favoritism or something. At the risk of sounding like a whiner, I think he actually picked on me more than any of the other people. So I had to be extra good this year. I did improve a lot, as did Amy. I was almost disappointed. It’s quite entertaining when Amy tries to march. Now that’s gone. I’ve decided that I’m signing up for squad leader next year. I want a squad. If Zach can do it, so can I. Zach was decent to me this year, I guess for Jessica. I was their little messenger person. I would be carrying verbal messages back and forth for half my life for them. That was mostly because guys weren’t allowed in girls cabins and vice versa. There was one night where I square danced with Jessica, Zach, Karen (my good friend), Amy, Caleb, and a girl I sort of know named Celeste, plus our friend Jing Han. Karen had to be a guy, as did Celeste. We square dance every year. I didn’t last year, due to Cam not wanting to. It was truly hilarious. We were bad. That’s an understatement. We missed half the commands because people were being loud. After awhile we got the hang of it, but it was rough going there for awhile. My partner was Karen, which was cool. Amy and Caleb were partners, and Jessica and Zach were partners (as one might guess). There’s a lot of switching of partners. Caleb was pretty good and went at a good pace. Karen and I were good together. We treated it like a huge joke. Celeste was decent. Zach had a style all of his own. I don’t know if he found dancing with other girls weird or something, but whenever he would get to me, he would literally sprint me around the circle. I wasn’t expecting it at first and tripped, but after awhile I would just sprint with him. What the hell. It was good exercise, I suppose. Karen and I were laughing about it for a few days afterward. I pulled something trying to keep up with him. It’s kind of hard to take your squad leader seriously after you’ve seen him square dance. I think I changed his mind by the end of the week. Our cabin was interesting. I was wrong, they changed up the cabin a little. They brought in some new freshmen and switched out some older people. Most of them were okay, I guess. There was one girl I didn’t especially like. Her name was Laura. She was built along the lines of a professional boxer. Seriously. She was a monster. She was also a boy chaser. That’s probably the group of girls that piss me off the most. She liked a number of different guys in the course of five days. The first guy she liked was the infamous Spencer Robinson, known as Mean Looks among us. I told her not to pursue that one. He’s actually very attractive, but he’s a total ass. Another guy I think she was after a little was Cam. I warned Cam. He stayed away. Chris Jalilivand was another guy. He was trying out for our next drum major, but didn’t get it. I actually got a little jealous on that one, believe it or not. If we had stayed there longer, I definitely would have gotten a crush on him. He came from Tappan. At first I felt really threatened by him for some reason, I think because Cam didn’t like him at the time. He’s very good-looking, good hair, interesting eyes, not a bad body. Laura went through a phase where she was completely into him, but I don’t think that went anywhere even though I noticed she cornered the poor guy at one of the dances. She actually ended up slow dancing with Spencer. Chick’s got issues. I voted for him for drum major. He took it hard when he didn’t win. After the Interlochen awards, we always have a dance to celebrate a new drum major and the last night together. Chris was just standing outside the concert hall alone. Our old friend Grace went to him after awhile. She was going to try out herself, only her ACL went kaput during training. I’ve always thought that she has a thing for Chris. They both went to Tappan. Maybe they’re just old friends. Cam broke up with his girlfriend while we were there. She wasn’t very happy about it, from what I hear. I lamely asked her if she was okay after, which I really wish I hadn’t done. I felt like a perfect idiot. I’ve said a grand total of five words to her. She looked at me strange but said she was okay. I got some interesting news after we got back, something that I had been expecting for some time now. Anne of St. Francis likes Cam. I totally saw it coming. She said her heart “skipped a beat” when he said he was breaking up with Kara. I personally think it would be really cool if they starting going out. There was a time where I thought “What the hell am I going to do if Cam gets a girlfriend in high school?” but I guess I’m past that. I don’t own Cam. He does what he wants. Not to mention that we’re not as close now. I realized on the bus, I’m okay with that. He’s not at all mature. He and Anne were sitting behind Amy and me on the bus. It got to the point where I knew I would have to either check into a mental hospital or listen to my iPod. I chose the latter. They’re so loud and immature! I got the message across to Amy what I was doing, so she wouldn’t think that I hate her or something. She got the picture and nodded. She gets me. I also think she agrees. It sort of pains me, but I think I’m going to have to disassociate myself with Anne this year if she’s going to be hanging out with Cam 24/7, i.e. if they start going out. I talked to Alex for the first time today. We had kind of an odd conversation. It sort of sounds like he’s annoyed with Amy. She calls a lot, and she gets jealous if she’s not the only thing he focuses on. I think she wants this image of him sitting around, just awaiting her call. He said that she’s living in the past, which I kind of get. She wants things to be like they were starting to be when they were at camp. She wants what she had with Zach (her ex Zach, not Zach Baker (just a note)). Alex was talking about how she calls all the time and wants to be the center of his life or something. He told me, “Every time the phone rings it’s her.” He also said that one day he was shutting his bird into its cage and she actually got jealous. Who gets jealous of a bird? It’s not even human! I think she sort of wants something that’s never going to work out. Alex and I were discussing how to set some boundaries without offending her, which is a true challenge. She’s going to think he doesn’t like her anymore or something, then I’ll have to conceal that I knew about what he was going to do and not slip up. Then I’ll be accused of conspiring behind her back with her boyfriend. I advised him to tread lightly while doing this. He seems sort of frustrated. I’m sort of thinking about starting a story which would be a takeoff of band camp and what I did. I’m thinking something with magic, maybe? I would just have to find something that would be the physical equivalent of marching. Ooh, maybe they could be training to be battle mages or something! I would have to capture the camaraderie of the cabins and all the fun we had. Camp was great. I’ll probably tell all the fine details in time. For now, I should go. ‘Bye. August 22, 2006 I actually slept in until quarter to one today. It was probably the best feeling in a week. I expected to wake up to Reveille again and go out and do calisthenics for fifteen minutes like usual. It was nice to get back to my own bed, with sheets and everything. Right about now, that’s starting to sound really good, even though it’s only quarter to nine at night. I must be groggy or something. I got a job for tomorrow night, with my little charge Ross. He’s a great kid, even though he’s only seven. He loves Wind Waker (as do I) so his parents have me come over and play with him. He barely notices that they’re gone. I think that’s why they like me. They usually get me good food and everything. I plan to send him to bed at like eight and then read or something for the next two hours until his parents come home and give me twenty big ones. Nice life, as Alex would say. I talked to him today, too. Amy took the news that she is to call less pretty well, apparently. Alex was actually really clever about it. He said that the frequent calls were “damaging the world economy”, which I think is actually really good. He did say that she was distracted by a Brasswind catalogue, so maybe the magnitude will hit her sometime tonight. I told him about my job. I forget what he said, but I told him that I would make him baby-sit if I had kids. Teasing me, he came back with “The father usually has moderate baby-sitting duties over his kids.” I rolled my eyes at that one. I forgot to put this down yesterday, but David almost went blind while I was gone. He missed a catch that Michael threw him and it hit him in the eye. They apparently spent a whole night trying to get him fixed, lasers and everything. He’s doing better now. He was saved by the scar tissue that had built up and he’s going to be okay in the long run. He just has to take it easy for the next six weeks. I hope Michael doesn’t feel too bad. Though, this made me see that I actually do love David, because I freaked out when I heard. It’s bit of a relief. I’ve thought that maybe I don’t lately and that’s just terrible, not to love your own brother. I’ve been thinking that there’s something screwed up going on with my email. I tried to sign up for a SongMeanings.com account and the verification note that they send isn’t coming through email for some reason. It’s screwed up. I wanted an account because I’ve been wanting to comment on some of the songs like everyone does, like my favorites. I think I’ll tell them to resend it until I get it. Wow, they’re going to be tired of me. It’s still early, but I think I’m going to be going to bed right now. I’m tired enough. Damn the band camp readjustment! August 24, 2006 I got registered today. The good news is that I got four solid teachers for English, Math, Western Civ., and Earth Science. The bad news is that I got Julius for Latin. That’s right. Mr. Vogel is officially gone from my life. I was sad. That’s really an understatement. Mom could have switched me, but she didn’t, because she really wanted me to have Mr. Kim, this awesome Math teacher because I suck at math. I completely exploded in the car. I haven’t been that upset for a really long time. Nothing would make me feel better. It was only when I talked to Amy that I started to cheer up just a little. Now I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to drag Mom back down there in a week to see if anyone’s dropped Latin 2 in his class, then I’ll make the switch if he has. I think someone might. I pray, more like. Well, it’s not exactly a sought-after language, so maybe someone will. I’ve got to be with Mr. Vogel. He’s my all-time favorite teacher, even if he is hard. Today hasn’t really been all that good. The whole Latin thing kind of put a damper on the day. I found out that Amy and I officially have no classes together. Oh well, at least it’s one lunch, so we can hang out there. I wonder if Cam has any classes with me. His mom always makes a huge thing out of making his schedule just right, so something tells me no. Though you never know. I’ve been thinking. I wonder if Mom could switch me into Pass? It’s kind of a study hall type thing. Cam took it (with Ms. Bryant..... but still) and I think he did okay with it. While I’m bothering people up there, maybe I can do that. Hm. Interesting idea. August 26, 2006 I saw the movie Accepted today with Amy. Backwards. It was most amusing how that happened. Amy and I bought our tickets as usual at Quality 16, and then we went in. The lady told us where to go, and we walk into the movie. But apparently we didn’t listen hard enough or she gave us bad directions, because we walked into the movie when it was middle-to-end-ish. It ended after about a half hour and we were like, “Huh?” Then it occurred to us that we had walked into the wrong showing. We walked out and I suggested trying to find the movie we were supposed to be in. Amy agreed, so we went around the corner and found another showing of it. This time it was the middle. We watched that until the part that we had come in at when we went to the original show. Then I said, “Hey, let’s go look for the beginning!” We were laughing like idiots, but we found it. We watched that until we came to the part that we had come into in the middle. So I experienced a movie backwards. It was fun. I’ve never done that before. I think this is by far our finest moment. Or lack thereof. We decided not to tell anyone. I guess it’s going to be our joke from now on. That would have made my day pretty good, but I got into another battle with Mom on the way back. Another fight about the issue of switching me out of Mr. Kim’s class so I can be in Mr. Vogel’s. She doesn’t want to. I’m actually considering telling her that I copied my homework for the last semester. She would be disappointed, but it would really explain a lot. I could be a lot better than I am at math. I just have chosen not to for too many years. Damn it. I tried to convince her. I get Geometry. I don’t need a good teacher. I don’t even need a teacher. I can teach myself this crap. I know that’s a bit of a bold statement, but it’s true! Even Ms. Sullivan, my eighth grade math teacher said I was inclined towards Geometry. It just frustrates me that I can’t have control over my own life! I should be able to make these decisions! I am almost fifteen. Most kids’ parents let them control their own lives. Why couldn’t I have had parents like that? I realized last night that I’ll never get Mr. Vogel. That sixth hour class he has? Yeah, that’s a Latin 1 class. I realized that last night and cried with despair. This is just so unfair. We finally find the one thing I’m passionate about and I can’t have the greatest teacher in the world for it. The greatest teacher this world has ever seen. Hands down. He’s taught me so much, crap that’s not even Latin-related. Things Mr. Vogel Has Taught Me 1. Don’t bash on teachers-they’re doing the best they can 2. Make flash cards if you need to remember vocab (this means you Claire Beaulieu and Claire Beaulieu’s photographic memory) 3. The UN could be doing better 4. The Young Dems are Stalinists (I think that was a joke) 5. Hair is an evolutionary advantage 6. The Romans had an odd philosophy about value of life 7. Nouns are people, places, things, AND ideas Hey, that’s just a start. The funny thing is that I think I’m winning. I’ve just got to find some way to convince Mom I’m going to be okay. I wonder how that’s going to work. I think of something. I got the impression today that I think I’m wearing Mom down. I hope I’m right. August 27, 2006 It’s kind of late. It was mostly a calm day. I wish it were September, so I could buy that Dave Matthews Band song, “Ants Marching”. It’s their second most popular song after “Crash Into Me” (which is understandable- “Crash Into Me” kicks ass). Anne of St. Francis says that she’ll burn it onto a CD for me in exchange for one dollar. It seemed fair. We heard from Fuzz today. He’s doing okay. He’s coming home next week! I didn’t ask what their situation is. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear that they’re doing badly. I love Fuzz. We all might hang out next week. Problem is, that also includes the Walrus. Okay, let’s face the truth. I don’t like him anymore. Not in that way. I’ve thought up an optimal plan, however. I’ve been telling Amy that I’m having this huge fight with Mom and Dad (which is complete bullshit, but whatever). So, I can’t have a boyfriend while this is going on. I don’t want to hurt him! We’re friends! I think this is going to work. I guess I’m the queen of ingenious alibis. The key is to tell everyone the same story, even if they’re not involved. Like my old alibi about Mom “grounding me until the end of the world”. I made that up back when I didn’t want to call Zach, back when we were first becoming friends. For some reason, that scared me. I don’t know what it was. He told me to call him, and I freaked out. I think I would be okay with it now, but I don’t know what was going on with me during that. So, anyway, I told everyone that, even people who weren’t involved. It got me out of a lot of things I didn’t want to do. For example, Charlie’s going-away party for Melanie. I knew that was going to be a disaster, so I used my now-convienent alibi. It worked in more ways than that one. This excuse is going to pull me out of a lot. I don’t know who I like anymore. I was beginning to start on Chris, the one that tried out for drum major, but I don’t think that’s going to go anywhere. I also got a scare during Interlochen. It was when we were loading the buses to go there. I saw Luis for the first time in three months, and to tell you the truth, I thought I might still have something there. I had to tell myself a million times that IT IS OVER. I can’t live my whole life admiring him from a distance. I don’t want to. It’s just stupid! I did get to see his family, which was interesting. The lucky guy had his whole family come to the Interlochen concert. Mine didn’t want to come. From what I saw, he has an older brother, a little brother, and a little sister. He looks a lot like his dad. I should go. Mom’s being a Nazi again. August 28, 2006 It was so dark today. I usually like it this way, but it just seemed weird today. I actually remembered my dream for the first time in awhile. It first started out with the band visiting Buhr Park. There we were, standing in the field. Mr. Roberts asked us a strange question. It was something about does anyone want to learn to march like a trombone or something. I volunteered for some reason. He then went on to all the conditions, like the person would be last chair for all eternity (in the trombone section) and stuff like that. I was thinking, “Well, if I had known that, then I wouldn’t have volunteered!” I was wearing this box for some reason. It was weighing me down. The second part was about school. I dreamed I was back at a school that wasn’t Huron. It actually looked a lot like Tappan, now that I look back. I tried to go to my first hour, which is Latin. I tried to go into Mr. Vogel’s class, but I knew I couldn’t. That’s not where my schedule told me to go. I was really, really sad. I then had an idea. I wouldn’t go to Latin. I would go to my next class, which was English, I think. The classroom was a bar. I swear. I was sitting on this stool that I kept falling off of. There were only about ten people or so in the class. The teacher (named Mrs. Brown or something) stood up and announced that this was not a class and we could do what we wanted. Everyone was like, “Cool.” I remember trying to explain that to people later. The third part was about rock climbing, still in the school. I know, screwy. I remember I was supposed to be in Math, and I left to go get a drink. I couldn’t find a drinking fountain. Mr. Kim (my new math teacher... ugh) kept shouting directions at me. I never did find the water fountain, but I did find Dad for some reason. There was a rock climbing wall nearby, so Dad, Mr. Kim, and me decided to go rock climbing (don’t ask). Actually, it was just Dad and me. Mr. Kim stayed below. We started climbing, only we didn’t have any harnesses. I was kind of nervous about that, because I would lean back and feel like I was about to fall off. Finally we got near the ceiling, and Dad said that we were only halfway there. I looked down and I was really scared, even though I’m not usually afraid of heights. Dad asked if I would rather go down and I nodded. Then I woke up. I don’t know what it means. I know what the part about trying to get into Mr. Vogel’s class means. I don’t know why I’m so upset. Did I love that class that much? I didn’t realize I did. If both classes were full, I would probably accept that and move on. I guess this is just because they could get me in, and they’re not going to. I also really wanted Dad to meet Mr. Vogel. We got into yet another fight about it at dinner. Michael is pretty much just telling me to suck it up because they’re not going to switch me. He and I went to Hollywood Video to pick up a movie. I figured, all things considered, I would rather be with my brother than with the people that don’t seem to give a damn what I want. He kept telling me that I’m going to love Mr. Kim, but it’s not true, not if I can’t have Mr. Vogel, too. I’m going to be sitting in 1st hour, thinking about all the lucky kids that are in Mr. Vogel’s class. Great, here I go again. I’ve been crying all evening. I got around to telling Michael why this is important to me. Back when school started, I had issues. I didn’t really have any friends because I came from Tappan, Mom and Dad had dragged me off to therapy, Michael and I were always at it, I was losing Cam, and I just wasn’t liking Huron all that much. Mr. Vogel was really the best part of all that, and he taught me more stuff than I could have learned in a lifetime. He would tell me when I had a good point and he actually made me feel like I had a talent for something. Just realizing that class is gone is hard enough. Now I get Julius? This is just so unfair I want to scream. I thought this year was actually going to be good. Everyone says that sophomore year is the best. It probably would have been the best if I could have had my favorite teacher. I wish someone understood that this is about more than a teacher, it’s about how I have ABSOLUTELY NO FRIGGING CONTROL over my own life. Well, there’s one person that does. That would be Zach. I wish my parents were like his. Damn, his aren’t even married! They only restricted him from the computer for a week after he took their car out! Mine would have killed me, then exhumed me and killed me again. Michael says that he used to wish Mom and Dad were out of it, but he doesn’t anymore. I truly wish they were. Life would be so much cooler. Maybe if they were like that, I wouldn’t want to die right about now. August 30, 2006 Today wasn’t bad. I went to baby-sit my seven-year-old charge Ross for awhile. I made ten bucks. Not bad. He’s a great kid, and a complete video game whiz. I think he’s a genius. Whatever. I guess we’ll find out in a few years, like when he gets to middle school. I think I’m doing better on the whole Latin thing. I guess I’ll be okay. Mr. Vogel wouldn’t want me to be this sad over his class anyway. Great, that makes him sound dead. Maybe I can compromise with Mom and switch into his class halfway through the year. Or maybe I’ll get the same class that I had in Latin 1, just with Mr. Julius. That would be just awesome. We could all talk about how we respected Mr. Vogel so much more. And let’s look on the bright side. I got some kickass teachers this year. Kim, Wilson, Drake, AND Overbey? That’s really a great lineup. I have heard that Mr. Drake is a hardass about homework, but I think I can do it. After all, he’s not Mrs. Goebbel. I’m cool with anyone who’s not her. She really liked me, but I have to say, she’s a terrible woman. Not just because she busted me for skipping her class, either. I don’t learn from anyone who hates God that much. Hardcore atheist is a good way to describe her. I’ve heard Mr. Wilson is also really good. Michael had him. I personally think he’s really gay-looking, but he’s married so I’m guessing not. Maybe I’ll get Karen in one of my classes because she mentioned that her mom wanted her to get him because her brother (also named Michael) had him for AC English. I’ve heard he isn’t easy, though. He’s just a good teacher. Mr. Kim. He’s the best there is. At least for Math. Michael says that I’ll love him, that he’s such a great guy. I’ve heard he’s got a tattoo, but he won’t show it to you until the last day of school. He wears long sleeves to cover it up. Michael asked him what it meant, but he wouldn’t say because it was personal. It’s supposedly a long trail of words all the way up his arm in another language. I have to admit, I’m very lucky to have gotten him. Amy got Mr. Beamer, who’s not very good. He’s just fun. So, all in all, I’m going to be okay. Who knows what this year is going to be like? Claire Beaulieu’s 10th Grade Schedule 1st hour - Geometry, Mr. Kim 2nd hour - English 10, Mr. Wilson 3rd hour (Sem. 1) - Speech and Communication, Mr. Fox 3rd hour (Sem. 2) - Western Civilization, Early, Mr. Overbey 4th hour - Earth Science, Mr. Drake 5th hour - Concert Band, Mr. Roberts 6th hour - Latin 2, Mr. Julius 7th hour (Sem. 2) - Personal Fitness, Mr. Simons Wow, I have all male teachers this year. I’ve never had that before. The infamous Mr. Dabney was my first ever male teacher, but he got fired for slamming a kid against the water fountain. My second was Mr. Weiler and Mr. Corbett, my sixth grade math and science teachers. Then there was Mr. Thobe, who was the coolest guy ever. I just got this news about Zach. He won his court case! I came onto the scene after the trial (which was last October), but apparently it was a big thing. All the papers are calling them for a story. It was a thing about a shirt that the school system said Zach couldn’t wear. They appealed and won the case. I was actually really happy for Zach. This kind of stuff is important to him. That’s what you get for being an insufferable liberal. Haha. I don’t mean that. This is really good. It sounds like something that you would read in a law textbook or something to me. Whatever. I’m happy for him. August 31, 2006 Well, it’s the last day of August. It’s hard to believe that tomorrow is September. It’s only twenty-five days until my fifteenth birthday. I’m glad I’m turning fifteen, finally. All my friends have early birthdays. I’m the youngest. Actually, Karen is younger than me. Her birthday is sometime in November. Late November. Wow, that would suck. Michael and Mom and Dad are in the living room downstairs. Michael got an interview with the Air Force Academy! I have headphones on, but I’m not listening to anything. I want to hear what he has to say, even though I’m not allowed to go down there. I’ve been instructed to stay out of the way, because this is Michael’s thing. The guy seems pretty cool. I can tell he’s a nice guy. I wonder what he looks like. I guess I’ll never know. He’s a Lieutenant Colonel (think I spelled that right) in the Air Force, or he’s in the Reserve or something. From what he’s been saying, he’s not a recruiter and he did not go to the Academy. He’s never been shot at, although he said he almost would have wanted to fight in the war in Iraq. The football games start tonight, but I don’t think I’m going to go. First of all, it’s a Pioneer because the lazy construction types up at Huron didn’t get their jobs done fast enough. Also, I can’t face the Walrus tonight. I think I’m going to hold it off for another five days until we start school. I’ve been thinking of ways to tell him it ain’t gonna happen. This mythical fight with my parents really helps. That was pure genius. I just have to follow my own rule and keep telling people that. You never know who talks to who, really. I can’t believe it’s football season again. That’s truly amazing. I can remember last year’s football season like it was yesterday. Well, there were some significant events that made it memorable. I was chasing Gary, who hooked up with Lili and I got really hurt. I was really trying to find my way in the world of high school and the football games were kind of a salve for all of that, because I realize now that I wasn’t happy. It was only about February that I got a real hold on my life, got some friends, and became a normal person. The football games were also the first place I met my pal Charlie, although we wouldn’t become close friends for another five months. I went online and searched the Burlington Free Press, which is a newspaper out of Vermont. I’m sure you can guess what I was looking for. I found it. The headline was, “Vermont Student Wins Free-Speech Case in Federal Appeals Court”. I read the article, and I have to say, I’ve never been so proud of any one of my friends. Zach is really an amazing guy. I sent the article to Amy. I don’t know if she’s heard yet. It’s funny, because I really don’t know who I agree with. You could say that it’s a freedom of speech thing, but it’s also important to not promote drugs. I guess I side with the Guiles’s lawyer. You have to be able to express the views that you want to. You know, this kind of reminds me of that old Avi book, Nothing But the Truth. It’s a story about this kid who’s a freshman in high school. They play the national anthem every morning over the P.A. system and he likes to sing along, even though the direction is to “stand quietly and respectfully”. The English teacher suspends him and it sets off this whole fiasco. His parents say it’s a violation of freedom of speech but the school says he was being disrespectful. Mr. Thobe always said that the parents were in no way realistic, but now I can go back to him and tell him that parents like that do exist. Just not here in Michigan. My parents would be like, “Well, you shouldn’t have been doing that! Go to your room! No computer!” I think I’m going to bookmark that article. I hope Zach gets on, so I can tell him that I read it. He was so happy yesterday. He was almost not comprehending anything that I said. Usually he gets what I’m trying to say, but not then. He was totally high from all the excitement. I didn’t really get the magnitude of it until he told me that all these organizations and newspapers kept calling them. I thought it was one of those mock trial competitions or something at first. I felt like a perfect idiot at first, because I was totally not following. Once I got it I couldn’t stop congratulating him. His parents are cool. I’m not sure that mine would press charges over something like that. Well, I’ll probably just surf the Internet for a few hours until this Air Force guy leaves. It’s been real. September 1, 2006 First day of a new month. Oh boy. And, on the bright side, only three more days of vacation! You have no idea how bored I am. I am totally ready to start school, now that I’ve made my peace with the whole Latin thing. Hey, maybe he’ll be okay. You never know. I went to go see The Wicker Man with Cam and Anne of St. Francis tonight. It was a bit creepy. I won’t go through it, but it has to do with human sacrifice and this strange pagan religion, and this guy who goes to find his kidnapped daughter. Okay, I just did go through it. What do you know. It was strange to be doing stuff with Cam again. The last movie we went to go see was the fourth Harry Potter movie, back in November. I think Anne of St. Francis might bring us back together. How odd. I never thought that would happen. Being with them tonight did show me how far I’ve come, though. They are some loud people, especially Cam. I was almost embarrassed to be with them when they started going on about some stuff. I hope Anne learns to be more mature in high school. I guess I did. Jessica’s told me a bunch of times that I wasn’t bad for a freshman, but I was perfectly tactless. Karen and I agree that we were some weird freshmen. We just never stopped talking. I can’t wait until school starts. I AM SO BORED. I have hard teachers this year, though. Once school starts, I’m sure I’ll be wishing it was still summer. I do every year. Last year I subconsciously wished that, but I wanted to convince myself that I was doing fine. Yeah, I wasn’t. I had some issues, which I’ve already covered. This year is going to be better, though. I’m going to make it better. It’s the first of the month, so I’m able to buy songs again. So far, I’ve gotten “Saints and Sailors” by Dashboard Confessional, “In The End” by Linkin Park, and “Come Out and Play” by the Offspring (I know, I know). I had to get that Offspring song. It cracks me up. The Offspring in general crack me up. I don’t even know why. “Saints and Sailors” is my favorite so far. Also, Anne of St. Francis got me “Ants Marching” which is a Dave Matthews Band song. That way I get eleven songs this month instead of ten. Yay me. Okay, it’s late so I’m going to go. Ciao.

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