• drugs, boys, school, family. i miss him. and im not going to lie about it . i just do , i want to be with him whenever i can and i dont know why . its not like we dated for a long time and i have this need to be around him... i just like his company so much . and even tho this seems so stupid to say.. its hard to see him always with julia and shit . i know how thats going to go . everyone loves julia.. and its always been that way .shes alwyas the one that people are asking about or they want to be with . im so used to it , i mean shes my sister... what the hell am i going to do about it? its so stupid how i miss him . i just want to blaze with him and i dont kno why . things remind me of him and it sucks . just everyhting right now is a mess . when is it not a mess? i dont know why... but i have this thing about me.. its like a game . i have to do all the drugs and drink just to make myself look older or whatever .i mean yeahi love to blaze... but with my sister and tommy and mikey or bender or ram or nick. they have this awesome weed . and i may sound like a pothead and im not trying to make myslef come off like some druggie and like i kno everything about everything... but idk . its not even worth it anymore . nothing really is . im just goingto let mikey talkto me... im not even going to try . he can do whatever the fuck he wants . he didnt need me... and i dont need him. drugs or me . jimmy eat world .

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