• man i just dont know what to think, i have swan, i love so much, and she loves me, but she loves me so much, that the thought of hurting kills her, and even though i knwo she wont, she never has, and she doesnt want to and will do anything to avoid doing that, but she doesnt see it, she doesnt, i wish she did but she doesnt, she feels everyone that she has loved has been hurt by her, damn them who have poisoned her view, they chose to fuck themselves up, and take her love for advantage, and therefor it has clouded her of what she does to people, that her selflessness shows and helps everyone she tries to help, that is if they want her help, i guess because they dont take it, because they chose to not listen, it had made her not see how great she is, how selfless she is and how much she is willing to do for others, that her love is some of the purist i have ever seen actually, her love does nothing but help, but those who dont want to be helped keep her from seeing that, i mean, she would kill anyone who tried to hurt her brother, she tried to save her mom from a abusive relationship, adn she unfrotunatly didnt take it right, didnt listen and open her eyes, and then her dad, wow, she tried to help him even more then anyone would think someone like him deserved, no matter what he did to her, and yet she only stops herself now out of the fear of him crushing her again, these people she tries, but they dont see what a gift they have, someone actually looking out for the people that everyone else gave up on, and with her friends, she cares so much for her friends, derrick frustrates her right now but that doesnt keep her from caring about him, and trying to knock sence into him, gabe, she cares for him too, she would do anything for gabe, sarah, she really wants to see into sarahs world, help her break out more and here the world through sarahs eyes, cause sarahs point of view really matters to her, and there are even more, wendy, and such that she too cares and loves so much, and does whatever she can for them, adn for me, she is willing to deny herself everything for me, swan if you are reading this, i know you are very down about yourself, and you dont feel your good enough, but hey, tell anyone of your friends that you love if you have screwed them up, that you have done them extream wrong, i can garentee you they will all deny it, and probably not one will ever regret knowing you, or having your care for them, and several will probably be able to tell you how you have helped them, because you really care for everyone you love, adn you would not do anything to hurt them, only to try to help them, you could go ahead, ask gabe. ask sarah, even ask derrick, i tell you this is how they would feel, even wendy, and well i could write a book on how you have positively effected my life and how great you are and it still wouldnt get everything, i mean it is true, why do you think some of your past boyfriends and such still want to marry you and crap like that, because you do hold some of the purest love, ever, but i know talk is cheap, yo need proof, and you if you feel my word is not enough to sway you, because i love you, you need more of an outside opinion, ask your friends what they think of you, and if they regret you at all, i am telling you some will probably evn say they cant see life without you, hell even your new friend josh, he seems to like to stick around since he met you, and those homeless people, that you showed love to that no one else did, adn you got nothing out of it, it was all for them, you really care for people, hell you didnt just give that guy money, you made sure as hell he ate right and got clothes with it, so you took your time to go get that stuff for him, your love is the purist of love to give, and well i sit here, wishing you would see this, hopeing that you will, hopeing that you would accept this gift given to you because you do deserve love, because you give out love more then i think i could even give you, i mean idk how many facts i can give you about it, to show you, and by the type of person you are, i knwo you will never see yourself as high as you are, but at least just enough, and i know your afraid, and i know that there is nothing i can do about it, but be there, and help you see, i will always be there waiting for you, you knwo fear is part of life, like love is, ah idk, it scares me how long if ever you will return to me, but i couldnt love anyone like i do you, and well right now your all i can see ever really loving, you all i ever wanted adn you dangling just in front of me, but i can reach, i need you to find the strength to pull yourself a little closer, and well i am not going to give up on my part, so i sit here and wait for you, to realize how great you really are

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