its weird...thru this whole "self" thing ive come to look at people differently....like my dad...i never even want to be around him anymore...cuz i know hes just a scared little boy who likes to show off to give him the comfort of being liked by people...he tries to act so strong and tough...but hes weak and hypocritical..
fuck...that sounds harsh.
then theres Derrick...i used to almost look up to him in a way...we had so many simalarities and now...IDK...he almost seems fake to me...(which is the most confusing thing to me...) like...he spends alot of time reading like i do...and says hes doing almost the same thing as me...but theres no changes...like...hes not looking at himself at all....and hes almost avoiding me sometimes because i think he knows whats happening and knows that i can see it...IDK
it kinda sux that i dont see people the same way i used too...but im glad because i see the truth...
so i have my dad, derrick and sarah pretty much figured out ( to the extent that i can...im not god lol)...i like to study people...and now im moving on to gaermo and oz. i know alot with gaermo already...but oz....IDK why hes so hard to figure out...like...i know alot...but i also know theres more...maybe its because i know hes my boyfriend and i dont want to......trespass on his privacy...IDK
im alittle confused...but fuck it (hahha i said butt fuck)
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