• So. There's this concert that I went to in January. And this concert just so happens to be for the best band ever. 1.12.06 That's the day where pretty much everything went downhill. I did meet my best friend for the first time there. There's just one tiny problem. That's also the day when I met this boy. Oh man, is he amazing. He lives an hour away and he's far too old for me. I'm no idiot. I know that. We've gotten close in the past month. I've learned more about him in this month than I have in years with other people. My best friend doesn't count. She's an exception. The only exception. I found out he's in love with this other girl, though. I knew I wasn't good enough. I expected this. He's perfect. Today was a bit of a bad day. I'd been going strong for many, many days. I messed up big time. I ate. I purged my body of it. But still. I ate. Disgusting, no? If you're reading this and you aren't diseased, then I envy you. Being sick isn't fun. I'm not looking for help, though. I need this. I'll do better tomorrow. I know I'm going to the gym. I don't think I'll ever say his name on this thing. I'm afraid he'll somehow stumble amoung this and realize just how much control he has over me. And he can never, ever know that. My friend says he's using me. Playing me. She's wrong, though. She's pretty much right about most things. Not this time though. He's too perfect. This is more for me than for you. If you actually took the time to read this, I thank you. And I'm sorry for burdening you.

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