• by sherbert lemon on 02-25-2007 @ 06:43:17 AM This song is about ME! a couple of weeks ago my long term, long distance boyfriend broke up with me and I was devestated. I felt like it was impossible that he could just not love me anymore. not because im so great or because he's so constant but because of the nature of love. I simply could not accept the situation as reality. I really felt that we needed to talk so that I could be sure of how he really felt but he refused to speak to me. I ended up leaving a message on his answer phone, feeling like i was queing up in what i then thought of as 'the waiting line'. He was the one i loved but he was also my best friend and I wanted him to say anything to me, to tell me to get lost, or to ignore our situation and just make small talk so that we could get on with 'just being friends'. I was desperate for some sort of communication because it was one thing to dump me but to not want me in his life at all? I was sure that he still loved me and refused to believe otherwise, no matter what practical advice my friends and family gave me to the probability of the contrary. From all of the texts i had sent him to try and persuade him to talk to me I knew he must know how devestated I was and how silly i felt the situation had become, enstranged from reality - i couldnt understand how he could be so cruel to me. couldnt he hear- 'I'm not myself?' this song captures everything that i wanted to say to him exactly, it is exactly what was going through my head at that time. our love was 'love on a line' because it was long distance and based on train lines and phone lines. I felt like i couldnt go on without him, because my life had become a paradox and my brain couldnt cope with the contradictions within what i was being forced to accept as reality. part of me wanted to be practical and say, look, hes a man, and he's flawed, there's plenty more flawed men out there and you dont actually need him, you could have a great time being single. I wanted to concentrate on being friends, then i could build up my independance, esteem and successes - if it was meant, than at some point it'd happen. But it 'all came back to him' i couldnt help but feel. as it turned out i trusted my gut feeling and got on a train and went to talk to him about it and i was right, he did still want me and love me, so we managed to sort things out. i just thought, what an idiot, if only he'd TALKED to me, we wouldnt have gone through all this grief! then i came across this song, and loved it!

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