• I'm stuck now. You know I like Mark, who's gone now. Actually, as a side note, there was a picture of Mark from a few months ago when he had a beard on my laptop's screen saver today while Erich was sitting next to me. He turned and saw it and goes, "look, Mark with a beard! He looks like *Jesus!*" He was using the Elf voice and everything - it was awesome. Anyway, a guy named Brendan likes me. I met him at a library thing, ironically, and after two years of seeing each other and not really talking, we finally hit it off and started e-mailing. He and I share similar views on a lot of things, but he's not a Christian. That means a lot to me - I can't see myself marrying a guy who doesn't share my most fundamental beliefs, as his Unitarian beliefs don't work with my hard-core Christian beliefs. The big thing is that he thinks he could love me, and he's expressed that in a way that doesn't let me doubt - first, it was "I think I could love this girl, but I don't think she'd have me." We haven't completely dropped the ruse, but be both know what's going on. So today he e-mailed me with "Hm, I see, but supposing the other person is willing to change just to make it even then what? If they asked for a chance to prove that it could work, would you grant them that?" The thing is, I don't want to tell him no. I know pity dating is absolutely not the way to go, but how do I say no? I'm going to have to say no, because I won't date a non-Christian. But he'll be bitter if I say no. I could explain the other reasons I would say no, even if I didn't have the Christian issue - Mark, the fact that I want to date an older guy, even that I'd prefer to wait til college - but I'd feel bad about that as well. I feel like I've painted myself into a corner somehow, and I don't know what to do. And here's something - a part of me thinks it makes sense not to date until Mark is good and gone, or until I've gotten over him entirely. I think I'd feel bad, though, if I ended up getting a guy to wait for me until, say, December. Isn't he just second pick then? I don't want to do that, but I don't want something crazy to happen and then have lost an opportunity because I'm dating someone else. I'm not the type to leave one guy just because another one was around, you know?

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