• As the days pass slowly And the weeks creep by I find myself obsessing About ways that i could die I lay awake at night Thinking of my pain There's no way it can get better I have nothing left to gain Suddenly thought of death Are controlling my every move And every battle with my mind I always seem to lose I no longer want to bearound The peoples that i love All that I can think about Is whats waiting up above I cut my arms with razor blades to dull the pain inside But that can only last so long I don't want to be alive I manage to keep my composure When peoples are around They wouldn't understand so I don't make a sound I smile when i have to I break down when i don't I know I should be strong but i also know i won't So i plan to take some pills It shouldn't take too long I write out notes to all my friends to read when i am gone I ask my mom to understand that life is just too hard my mind can't fight it anymore my heart is far to scarred i plan it out so perfectly i even set a date im pretty sure im ready i kno this is my fate My bed is made up neatly As i take them one by one I start to feel a little scared I know I'm almost done All that I can think about is how I'm letting go and how much I love my family I really hope they know my eyes are getting heavy my body feels so weak everything inside is so numb thats the way it has to be I'm glad my moms not here right now to watch me slowly die but still i wish that i could say "i love u and good-bye" I give in to the darkness I slowly slip away I hope I go to heaven where dark night turns to day I wake up in confusion I don't know where i am is this heaven, or is it hell the land of the eternally damned There are peoples all around although i can barely see I can hear the soothing voices of peoples dear to me my family and friends are here comforting one another I can hardly make out any words until I hear my mother each tear she cries feels like a knife stabbing at my soul I let my pain and suffering blind me from my goal at one point I was determinded to make it through this test to lead a life of fulfillment and to do my very best but I lost all sight of that I hope she can forgive I promise not to waste my second chance to live I sit up in my hospital bed tears streaming down my cheeks my mother rushes over crying like she hasnt seen me in weeks I tell her I am sorry for causing so much strife I tell her that i will succeed in leading a better life together we figured out a way for me to get some help I knwo now that I can go to her instead of it myself I know that it's not over yet it's a long road up ahead but I appreciate the little things because i could be dead I've learned to live each passng day as if it were my last I look forward to the future and I'm learning from my past

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