• I'll be switching back and forth between anst and music, just so y'all know. So if you're in it for the music thoughts and you're bored of angst, don't fret - I'll be back with more music quickish. This is a nice outlet for me, as no one knows me or the people with which the drama is. I wanted to describe the guy a bit, more for my own interest than anyone else's. For me, his most attractive feature is his incredible way with music. He plays the keyboard beyond what most people would ever dream of. He's better than the best jazz pianist you've ever heard, I'd be willing to bet. He's got an ear for music, though - he leads my youth group's band, and his arrangements are incredible, exploiting every ounce of talent our young band has got. What I've noticed a lot lately, especially in contrast to the other guys on our band, is that he's open to his horizons being broadened. I introduced him to The Shore, and he loved them immediately. We banter about music with the third hyper-musical person in the group, Wes, a lot. It's great. Beyond that, he's the kind of guy you bring home to your parents and are excited to let them meet. In fact, my mom told me once that if he ever asked me out, she'd get on her knees and thank God. He's that kind of guy. His sense of humor kills me. I sing harmony/back-up in the youth band (I have a suitable voice for lead, but he and I are the only ones who are physically able to sing harmony, and his voice is needed to strengthen the melody), but every so often, he'll switch to harmony. What he ought to do is find his own harmony, harmonize with me or something (or not sing harmony at all - it throws off the other lead singers terribly, it's hilarious). He normally tries to do that, but if he's not thinking about it, he'll accidentally start on my notes. Whenever he does that, he'll look over at me and give me his patented "haha, oops" look. He's got that mischievous spark that a girl has trouble ignoring. Anyway, after our youth band concert, the six remaining people (all good friends) asked for an encore of Yellow, by Coldplay. We obliged, but this time it was basically just for fun, not as serious as before. So about halfway through the song, he looks *directly* at me, gives me that mischievous grin, and starts stealing my notes. Deliberately. I'm on his right, with the other female singer between us, but he and I both leaned forward a bit so I could see what he was doing and he could make sure I knew what he was doing. So he kept stealing my harmony and grinning at me, and after a few minutes of that, we just broke down laughing. It was great. But the sad thing is that he's getting ever closer to his marriage. He's meeting his wedding photographer next week, which just pounds the point home for me. There's no way at this point that I could really have him - if he left his fiancee, I'd have to re-examine what I thought of him. If she left him, he'd be so heartbroken that nothing would really matter. The heart of that issue would be that I'm three or four years younger than he is. I've always wanted to date "up," but I can see him not being able to take me seriously as a girlfriend anyway. Castles in the air, but things I can use to convince myself anyway.

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