• this site got messed up . i dont even kno , i tried to go on here , so it was fucked up , i am so happy it's back tho . i dont even kno where i was last time i wrote in here, becuase i thought that i could never get my journal back . last night, i cut again. i dont even kno why i do it, maybe i think that it takes the pain away , or maybe i think its something that can take out all my anger on. but after its like, wow couldnt i have dont something else with that ? my mom and dad were just talking about sneaking out . it's really funny, becuase i have never snuck out in my life . i think they are so paranoid, that they are making it seem like i have, even tho i have never done anything like that in my life . i can sit inside on a friday night, i have nowhere to go , and frankly, i don't want to go anywhere. i dont think they really kno who i am , and that sucks. a good night for me is just being inside, talking to mike, watching a movie, listening to music. i love being with myself... i dont kno why it's jusst what makes me happiest . i miss so many things about being younger, but then again i think that always happens . you always miss what you don't have . x-masss ! finally it's coming again, i can't waitttt. i love this time of year . sometimes i need a break from people, but its never mike . its weird . i can spend time with him all day , or all night, and i dont ever need to jbe away from him. but other people , i feel like i want to fly on a plane and just be alone . thats maybe why i love to ski so mnuch . its just me, and the mountain, and i can glide down it, by myself, alone, and at my own pace. there is no pressure , its the wind in your hair , and you feel like you can fly down this white hill that bnlaknkets the serene western horizons . i can't even being to explain the happiness i feel from it . school is good , mike is good , i'm bored , and tired , and so happy thanksgiving break is here . "sad song with nothing to say , " mcr, best record . last song heard: disenchanted [LOVE.] artist: MCR.

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