• i met a new person yesterday. and meeting him sort of reinvented my perception that every living person is in fact a fuckhead. There are some nice, decent people out there, people worth knowing. But the real subject at hand is my future. which is fast becoming a pile of fucking shit due to my inability to study. I need self control and some sort of motivation to cause my to get a grip and start studying. i know the consequences of what im doing and yet cant seem to make myself do anything about, its a god damn shitty situation to be in. Almost a rut. except im not middle aged and not bored with my life, just somewhat confused with the direction it seems to be taking. doing SATs was a bad idea; im possibly the biggest loss of potential ever and its just going to dissapoint everyone i know. That is unless i crack and actually start studying which i could do , making use of the precious amount of time i have left before my exam.

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