• i was thinking, about mike. can you make me a promise? next time you say your done, YOUR DONE. you mean it. not that that time is coming, but, just kno that you have to except that. you have to move on eventually, and you cant let the present interfere with the past and the future. i remember when mike metz was ON top of me, i thought NO NO NO NO , i cant, and guess what, i didn't. that was the hardest thing, to say NO . but i did, i refused, i left, yeah there were consequences, but i will never do that again. i learn from my mistakes. i was talking to luke, and chad, and it hit me, they think that i can do better than mike. i ws thinking, and hoesntly, i dont give a shit, i dont care. i mean i dont crae what they think. but i love him. i cant get this off of my head. colin said i was "big". thats my biggest fear. and i hate that door, and i hate to open it, but what else am i supposed to do ? i hate feeling bad. i hate feeling like i'm fat, or big. i cant wait until basketball., im making A, i dont care, im not "big" i hate that. i need mike, i need him to tell me im not. =[ whatever, fuck tht. i bet more ppl want to fuck me than colin =0 i miss remy, i hope he's happy, please tell me he is. please, he needs to be. ='[ last song heard: be yourself. artist: audioslave [ha, how fitting] P.S. write when mike is ungrounded. =] xx.

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