• second entry today . i guess i cant sleep . im up here, and this has happened twice this week. i sit in my bed , just thinking. like there is nothing else i could be doing. but i could be sleeping. whats bothering me? i cant really pinpoint it on one thing. maybe just woner and worry combined into amsomnia. i am not really sure tho. you know whats fun? thinking about the past. looking through old notes and pictures and stuff. looking through how it used to be. you compare it to the life you live today and wonder if you made the right choices. you miss things about the life you had, and you cant wait to see what will happen. one thing that i have noticed, not just in me but in the human race. ive notices that humans are never content with the way they are t one moment. they are never happy with anything. thats why those moments of utter happiness mean so much to humans. becuase when things dont matter, for those minutes, or mabye even seconds, you can forget about all your troubles and live life the way you are supposed to. i wonder if god intended us to fret so much . you wonder if we are supposed to be living this way . you are always thinking how things were, or could be, and how they are. how about you live by the moment? enjoy everything you have, and dont worry about the things that you dont. you know the saying " if you cant get someone out of your head maybe they are supposed to be there?" maybe it works the same way with life. if you dont have something in life, maybe you arent supposed to have it at that second. you can only be grateful for the people and things in your life. think about this. you are not going to be here one day . why would u want to make your life boring? do you really want to make your life bland? i dont think anyone is supposed to have a boring life, but they prevent themselves to ever doing anything. i dont plan on going to jail, or killing people. but i do plan on living a little. when i think of myself, i dont think of a girl who can dance at parties, or have fun. yet i can have fun with one person, or a tic tac toe board. if i can just get into someones heart, that is the most satisfying thing to me. when you kno that you have made a new friend. "the walls continually change." true. you always change. you find youself, even if you have lost it a few times. you find your way, even if youve had some construction. you find your soul. you just have to do some searching. sleep now? i hope so , blow out the candles and sleeep away. last song heard: daughterrrs. artist: john mayer. xx.

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