• i guess this is a recap on not only this week, but this year. i'm sitting her just thinking, a year ago today, i met mike. a year ago today, i knew nothing about this school, and now its my home. a year ago i was scared, and i wasn't myself. i found myself in 7th grade. i found the me who i wanted to be. i found the girl that i could trust, love, and be loved. i found the boy that i love with all my heart, and i found friends that i love too. the game was fun too. i just wish that last year i could be who i am now, so i could enjoy it like i do now. i think i found the love and confidence in myself to be okay with who i was. i look in the mirror and instead of saying all the bad things, i look at the things i like. a part of feeling good about yourself are the people around you. mike makes me feel so beautiful, and the other people around me, like ryan, and carly, and ash and bel. they make me feel happy too. when i am around mike, i swear i am as happy as i can ever be. i cant stop smiling and laughing. i saw trevor and anne today and i looked at them, and i didnt think "ohh they dont make out, so they're not a good couple" i thought, wow i wonder if its the same for them as it is for me and mike. i think i learned this year that maybe it doesnt matter who's getting hanjobs, and who's getting fingered. but it depends who you care for, and how you feel around that person. becuase i know that maybe the feelings that i have toward mike, are maybe and probably different than the ones bella has towards nikko. i feel warm, and safe when he holds me. and i don't know what i wuld do without him. i'm sitting here on my bed, and i am looking at my bottom right hand drawer. there is my old phone in there, the one where mike took the picture of the light. "they look like lips." i can't even think about that without tearing up. just becuase i no him now. and its extraoridnary for me, as me, and as a human being thinking how you get to know someone, through thick and thin, and loving them for it. and in this process, you learn to love yourself. this is a valuable lesson i will never forget. i am who i am today not only becuase of me. but becuase of others who infulence me. a year ago today, i met the boy i love now. a year ago today i didnt even know what a "pod" was. a year ago today, i was a different person. i'm me, and i love it. makes life worthwhile. makes the purpose of life,oh so much sweeter. until next time... last song heard: vunerable artist: secondhand serande xx.

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