• life is changing a lot. i went through a large warphole it feels like over the past couple weeks. i have felt lost and everchanging in directions that are unknown. i think that i have pushed a little too hard but not exactly soft enough with my actions. i have been feeling more and more prone to enjoying life and giving up serious ideas and views. i want to couch surf, go to college, get a degree, and chill massively during the summer months with friends like i used to. i am going to make life better, i know i am. if i cry again like i had before i am going to have to put myself out of my misery. i had a trip that there were two personalities of mine, one was serious and wanted a future, one was happy and had to have fun and not care, but i coudn't manage to combine the two without destroying one or the other but i swear life is pushing them back together now that i have been putting things into prespective again. i may have to start acting and dressing like i used to, to prove this to me- again. i need to show more apathetic feelings toward things that don't deserve attention now. it's mine. my way of showing i care. it's a responsibility of mine and i wish not to abandon such ideals and beliefs as they are the basis for my existance. so hopefully people will watch me now.

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