I think this song is about being in a certain type of relationship, and I'm having a hard time finding a way to describe it... But I've been in the exact same type before.
Basically, when he's with this man, he really /wants/ him. And he /wants/ to want him when they're not next to each other. He wants to make it work. But for some reason, it only feels empty for him, and he doesn't even care all that much. The way he talks about waiting for things to fall into place and how he needs more time makes me think he used to be in another relationship and make he still has a connection with them...? I think at the end, he's calling out for the man to do something--anything--to raise a spark in him, to give him a reason to stay. Adam/The singer is helplessly apathetic.
Anyway, the loaded smile. I think he means that when he smiles at his partner, it's not really entirely truthful because of all the problems that this song lays out. He's not being that upfront with the man, and so the smile is... loaded.
I think this song is about being in a certain type of relationship, and I'm having a hard time finding a way to describe it... But I've been in the exact same type before.
Basically, when he's with this man, he really /wants/ him. And he /wants/ to want him when they're not next to each other. He wants to make it work. But for some reason, it only feels empty for him, and he doesn't even care all that much. The way he talks about waiting for things to fall into place and how he needs more time makes me think he used to be in another relationship and make he still has a connection with them...? I think at the end, he's calling out for the man to do something--anything--to raise a spark in him, to give him a reason to stay. Adam/The singer is helplessly apathetic.
Anyway, the loaded smile. I think he means that when he smiles at his partner, it's not really entirely truthful because of all the problems that this song lays out. He's not being that upfront with the man, and so the smile is... loaded.