This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Dear Mrs. Touma,
I walked upstairs into the kitchen
Saw a piece of birthday cake and I heard my mother crying
"Dressed in his black raincoat , black hat lying on the yellow line...he was run down..."
Your son was taken
And he spoke so often
With belief
With conviction
Never with, righteousness
Of the day he'd go to heaven
And I will believe
If only for his sake
In father, son, and holy ghost
In whom he was so certain that he'd
Turned the other cheek to those, who teased and hurt him
CHORUS
Leo is dead
It's not the end of the world
Sometimes I wish it was
I wouldn't wish it on anyone
Leo is dead
It's not the end of my world
Sometimes I wish it was
Sometimes I wish it was
And as for the man across the street
As he expresses sympathy (the fat, aging hypocrite)
Spit into his face with me
When you heard he was gone,
You couldn't wait to be the first to seem concerned
Did you think we'd never learn?
You were lying to us
You laughed at him
You threw upon him your own vices
You lied to us about everything
You lied about your barfly conquests
Dying your hair to hide the gray
You're masturbating bitterly on your front porch while the wife's away
(CHORUS)
I walked upstairs into the kitchen
Saw a piece of birthday cake and I heard my mother crying
"Dressed in his black raincoat , black hat lying on the yellow line...he was run down..."
Your son was taken
And he spoke so often
With belief
With conviction
Never with, righteousness
Of the day he'd go to heaven
And I will believe
If only for his sake
In father, son, and holy ghost
In whom he was so certain that he'd
Turned the other cheek to those, who teased and hurt him
CHORUS
Leo is dead
It's not the end of the world
Sometimes I wish it was
I wouldn't wish it on anyone
Leo is dead
It's not the end of my world
Sometimes I wish it was
Sometimes I wish it was
And as for the man across the street
As he expresses sympathy (the fat, aging hypocrite)
Spit into his face with me
When you heard he was gone,
You couldn't wait to be the first to seem concerned
Did you think we'd never learn?
You were lying to us
You laughed at him
You threw upon him your own vices
You lied to us about everything
You lied about your barfly conquests
Dying your hair to hide the gray
You're masturbating bitterly on your front porch while the wife's away
(CHORUS)
Lyrics submitted by TheGodfather
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bigtakeover.com/interviews/interview-peter-cortner-part-2
could you tell the story behind “Dear Mrs. Touma” and how that came about._
PETER CORTNER: I was, before Field Day was recorded and we were out of material, I had gone back to Maryland to spend some time with my family and one morning at breakfast time, my mom told me that this fellow I know named Leo had been killed. He’s been struck by a bus a block or so from my house and Leo was at that time, probably in his late 30s. Leo was a guy from the neighborhood; he always lived about two blocks down. He was struck with polio when he was young and at the time, I think that the approach to treatment or at least what he was able to receive as treatment for polio got him out of the wheelchair and got him walking…
So this was before JONAS SALK came up with the vaccine?
PETER CORTNER: Yeah and it left him with a difficulty in speaking and because of that, he went through school with the assumption that he was mentally retarded, which he wasn’t. But that assumption sort of steered everyone’s expectations for him. So as he was older, he always lived at home but he was able to work. He was doing stock, taking out trash and cleaning up at a local department store where I also worked when I was a teenager and when I was in my early 20s. So we got to know each other there and we got to be really good friends and when I befriended him, I realized that some people in the neighborhood had an impression of him that had no bearing on reality at all. And one person who had a really poor impression of Leo was a neighbor who lived directly across the street from me. When Leo would go to work in the morning or go home, he would tend to shake his head back and forth a lot or he would stu le or talk to himself and the neighbor would always say “there goes that no good drunk” and “we don’t need to have this guy in the neighborhood”. And I thought that this neighbor knows perfectly well that Leo isn’t drunk and he seems to enjoy insulting him and he seems to enjoy having someone who he can talk down about. And when Leo died, this neighbor was one of the first ones to say “oh isn’t this a terrible thing” and I was disgusted by what I took to be him very hypocritical. In later years I think back that maybe, in fact, he wasn’t being hypocritical.
Maybe he wanted to atone for this behavior.
PETER CORTNER: Maybe he did. It’s not like I ever asked him. I just took and got mad about it and ended up writing a song about it.