@[Diderik:33655] "Your a holiday!" Was a popular term used in the 50s/60s to compliment someone on their all around. For example, not only are they beautiful, but they are fun and kind too ... just an all around "holiday".
I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
My foundation was rocked
My tried and true way to deal was to vanish
My departures were old
I stood in the room, shaking in my boots
At that particular time, love had challenged me to stay
At that particular moment, I knew not to run away again
That particular month, I was ready to investigate with you
At that particular time
We thought a break would be good
For four months, we sat and vacillated
We thought a small time apart
Would clear up the doubts that were abounding
At that particular time, love encouraged me to wait
At that particular moment, it helped me to be patient
That particular month, we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant
At that particular time
I've always wanted for you, what you've wanted for yourself
And yet I wanted to save us, high water or hell
And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
And in the meantime, I lost myself
In the meantime, I lost myself
I'm sorry, I lost myself, I am
You knew you needed more time
Time spent alone with no distraction
You felt you needed to fly
Solo and high, to define what you wanted
At that particular time, love encouraged me to leave
At that particular moment, I knew staying with you meant deserting me
That particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
At that particular time
My tried and true way to deal was to vanish
My departures were old
I stood in the room, shaking in my boots
At that particular time, love had challenged me to stay
At that particular moment, I knew not to run away again
That particular month, I was ready to investigate with you
At that particular time
We thought a break would be good
For four months, we sat and vacillated
We thought a small time apart
Would clear up the doubts that were abounding
At that particular time, love encouraged me to wait
At that particular moment, it helped me to be patient
That particular month, we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant
At that particular time
I've always wanted for you, what you've wanted for yourself
And yet I wanted to save us, high water or hell
And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
And in the meantime, I lost myself
In the meantime, I lost myself
I'm sorry, I lost myself, I am
You knew you needed more time
Time spent alone with no distraction
You felt you needed to fly
Solo and high, to define what you wanted
At that particular time, love encouraged me to leave
At that particular moment, I knew staying with you meant deserting me
That particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
At that particular time
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Love the way her voice breaks at the bridge ("high water or hell"). Brutally honest and one of the best breakup songs, sung looking back on the unfolding tragedy.