The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
MITT ROMNEY!
VERSUS!
BARACK OBAMA!
BEGIN!
Mitt:
Im not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
Im Rich! I got fat stacks and Super-PAC's
We all know what went down in that 2008 election!
You're a decent politician with a winning complexion!
You're all Barack and no bite! Been no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay, they're both open!
You're from the windy city where you're looking pretty with your blowhards
But come January you'll be left evicted and with no job!
Raw rhymes stronger than my Jaw line when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days
Ya see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt!
Took you 4 years to drop unemployment down below 8%!
You feel that Barry? You're old news! Everyone's having doubts
Your rhymes are as weak as this economy, which you've done nothing about!
Call me a vicious businessman, 'cause Romney's stealing this race!
Ill go Bain Capital on your donkey ass,Restructure your face!
Obama:
They say your father was a great man, you must be whats left
Need to stop hating on gays, let them teach you how to dress
You got the momma jeans and the Mr. Fantastic face
So rich and white its like im running against a cheesecake!
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call ya Mitt
Im the head of state! You're like a head of cabbage
About to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance, you cant even touch me
I got four more years (Two terms!) in the White House, just trust me
I hope you saved your best rhymes for the second half
Because right now, im 47% through kicking your ass!
Mitt:
Whatever! That 40% thing got you real mad
What? Did it remind you of how many decent parents you had?
Obama:
Uh..Look, I respect all religions but it might be crazy
If the white house has a first, second, AND third lady!
Mitt:
Ha! Dont bring up wives, man! What are you doing?!
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!
Obama:
Let me be clear, dont get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist as kissed it!
Mitt:
Blah, blah, you're a stuttering communist!
Obama:
Oh yeah?! Well..you're stupid!
Mitt:
You're stupid!
Obama:
Nuh-uh!
Mitt:
*Growls*
Obama:
*Growls*
CAW!
Lincoln:
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The president shall not be the shiniest of 2 turds!
You! I wanna like you! Dont talk about change just do it!
I fought for what was on my mind until a bullet went through it!
And you! Moneybags! You're a pancake, too flip floppity!
This is a country! Not a company you can play like Monopoly!
Ill properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!
Of the people, by the people, for the people! EAGLE!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC *Caw* RAP BATTLES HISTORY!
MITT ROMNEY!
VERSUS!
BARACK OBAMA!
BEGIN!
Mitt:
Im not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
Im Rich! I got fat stacks and Super-PAC's
We all know what went down in that 2008 election!
You're a decent politician with a winning complexion!
You're all Barack and no bite! Been no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay, they're both open!
You're from the windy city where you're looking pretty with your blowhards
But come January you'll be left evicted and with no job!
Raw rhymes stronger than my Jaw line when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days
Ya see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt!
Took you 4 years to drop unemployment down below 8%!
You feel that Barry? You're old news! Everyone's having doubts
Your rhymes are as weak as this economy, which you've done nothing about!
Call me a vicious businessman, 'cause Romney's stealing this race!
Ill go Bain Capital on your donkey ass,Restructure your face!
Obama:
They say your father was a great man, you must be whats left
Need to stop hating on gays, let them teach you how to dress
You got the momma jeans and the Mr. Fantastic face
So rich and white its like im running against a cheesecake!
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call ya Mitt
Im the head of state! You're like a head of cabbage
About to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance, you cant even touch me
I got four more years (Two terms!) in the White House, just trust me
I hope you saved your best rhymes for the second half
Because right now, im 47% through kicking your ass!
Mitt:
Whatever! That 40% thing got you real mad
What? Did it remind you of how many decent parents you had?
Obama:
Uh..Look, I respect all religions but it might be crazy
If the white house has a first, second, AND third lady!
Mitt:
Ha! Dont bring up wives, man! What are you doing?!
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!
Obama:
Let me be clear, dont get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist as kissed it!
Mitt:
Blah, blah, you're a stuttering communist!
Obama:
Oh yeah?! Well..you're stupid!
Mitt:
You're stupid!
Obama:
Nuh-uh!
Mitt:
*Growls*
Obama:
*Growls*
CAW!
Lincoln:
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The president shall not be the shiniest of 2 turds!
You! I wanna like you! Dont talk about change just do it!
I fought for what was on my mind until a bullet went through it!
And you! Moneybags! You're a pancake, too flip floppity!
This is a country! Not a company you can play like Monopoly!
Ill properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!
Of the people, by the people, for the people! EAGLE!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC *Caw* RAP BATTLES HISTORY!
Lyrics submitted by Jirachibi
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