[dialtone, touch-tone dialing, ring, ring]

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.

If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
and If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line

Make your selection at any time.

[touch-tone 1]

Make your selection at any time.

[three touch-tone 1's]

For information in English, please press 1.
For information in Spanish, please press 2.
For information in Japanese, please press 3.
For information in Chinese, please press 4.
For information in Dutch, please press 5.
For information in Latvian, please press 6.
For information in French, please press 7.
For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

[touch-tone 1]

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
For all other traffic related matters, press 6.

[long touch-tone 6]

Please make a selection at any time.

[three touch-tone 6's]

For traffic school information, press 1.
For payment inormation, press 2.
For court locations, press 3.
For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
For traffic court appointment information, press 6.

[four touch-tone 6's]

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.

If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
from said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
a naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.

If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
to the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please
press 6.

Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
in for jury duty, press 8.

[touch-tone entry]

Make your selection at any time.

[here begins the touch-tone frenzy]

Make your selection at any time.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.

I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

[CLICK ... sound of dialing]

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.

[fades out on]
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.


Lyrics submitted by amylouise, edited by Mellow_Harsher

L.A. Municipal Court song meanings
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37 Comments

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  • +2
    General Commentthis song is so god damn annoying, but if ur high its kinda tweeky= )
    ~CoDeSeVeN~on May 28, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentAlright, since no one has any idea what the hell this means, ill give u my idea. MAynard was quoted on saying that the LA Municipal Court is a place that you would only want to visit once, just like the song. ( taking into consideration the repition of the song, though i still like it a lot). Anyway, I infer that Maynard is refering to the lawsuit with former manager over Tool's rights to seek out other record labels. Since Tool is LA based, this is possibly where the trial took place....
    Though the case never went to court, it would have and this is a place that no one, espically Tool would ever want to visit.. more than once....


    Though it could also be interpreted as a metaphor for the inaneness of U.S. Courts and how pointless they are, this was auctually my original interpratation.
    Justin-Toolon June 06, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentMAYNARD: "LA Municipal Court" is definitely a tribute to life in L.A.
    If you've ever been in L.A. trying to go down and take care of a
    parking ticket, or call and try to get some information as to how to
    take care of a parking ticket, or a jaywalking ticket, or something
    as ridiculous as that, you really realize how sick the red tape is
    out here. It's retarded. Most people who've ever been in that
    situation can relate to that song, and I think we did a pretty good
    job of capturing the tedium that goes along with that, to the point
    where people go, "That was a great song. It really summed up that
    feeling, and I never want to hear that song again [laughs]."

    SgtVoodooon November 28, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI agree with Octavarium, I think this song is partially about how they have an automated system for EVERYTHING and it's kind of nice if you just want to get something done and don't feel like dealing with someone, but sometimes they get really annoying like when they ask a ton of irrelevant questions (princess phone, spy phone, etc.) and when they fuck up and you have to start all over again.
    Unanimatedon July 16, 2010   Link
  • +1
    Song MeaningAs with most songs with Tool, this does have a deeper meaning. If you listen carefully to the back ground beat noise what ever you want to call it. It's a sign of intelligent life. When sent out to the universe if any advanced civilization came across it they would recognize the signal as a sign of intelligent life. What I believe Tool was trying to convey we are this intelligent species that can do many great things, but yet we still deal with stupid unintellegent shit like stupid automated phone machine that don't work.
    silvia95guyon November 15, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General Comment48 years from now an intelligent species from a not-so-distant binary solar system (using instructions they found on a gold disc floating in their nearby space) point their highpowered sub-space lasers at a spot in the sky - directly at Earth. To make contact. Using a very simple numerical algorithm.

    Whomp - Whomp Whomp - Whomp Whomp Whomp

    This track is a record of that encounter. And judging from the responses they get they are able to tentatively calculate our Intelligent Quotient. I think it is unnecessary to say; after the first few dialogues between our species nothing productive is achieved and attempts to communicate with Earth are abandoned.
    LezionCrafton July 15, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Commentis this an actual song or what???
    paga105on April 10, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis is an actual tool song wich you can hear on the Salival album
    *SoBeR~STiNKFiST*on May 11, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentLOL! This song is funny as HELL
    noneedfordavon July 13, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI got Salival today, I'm so happy. Extra rareness bonus for being in UK AND getting the DVD!
    noneedfordavon July 13, 2002   Link

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