Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
Excuse me for this
I just want a kiss
I just want to know what it feels like to touch
Something so pure
Something I'm so sure of
What it feels like to stand outside your door
I'm unworthy
I can see you're above me
But I can be lovely given the chance
Don't move
I want to remember you just like this
Don't move
It's only a breath or two between our lips
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I have a kiss
I see that you're torn
I've got some scars of my own
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry
Don't move
I need to remember you just like this
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I
All I have
All I can give to you I will
Just promise this
If I can't have forever
Can I have a kiss, kiss, kiss
No
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I give you a kiss
Can I, can I
Can I have a kiss
I just want a kiss
I just want to know what it feels like to touch
Something so pure
Something I'm so sure of
What it feels like to stand outside your door
I'm unworthy
I can see you're above me
But I can be lovely given the chance
Don't move
I want to remember you just like this
Don't move
It's only a breath or two between our lips
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I have a kiss
I see that you're torn
I've got some scars of my own
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry
Don't move
I need to remember you just like this
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I
All I have
All I can give to you I will
Just promise this
If I can't have forever
Can I have a kiss, kiss, kiss
No
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss
Can I give you a kiss
Can I, can I
Can I have a kiss
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Clarkson explained on her record label's website that this is actually about two different people in the verse and the chorus. She said: "That's the first time I ever did that. The lyrics are about something very true to me. You know how you want someone, but can't have them because they're off-limits? In the chorus, I sing that, even if you had 'em, you know you'd screw it up. You always want what you can't have. It's a funny, ironic song."