This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
This is a story of burning bridges
and allowing time to pass
this is a story of forgiveness
and breaking things in my hands
this is a story of understanding
you can't choose who you love
and this is a story of soft skin
and rats in the walls
well you can't just pass along
the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
this is a story of loaded glances
and leaning in too far
this is a story of vague advances
and confessions in smoky bars
so now I am walking down the sidewalk
and I am singing to myself
and I'm going to leave it all behind me now
'cause I don't need this,
I just don't need this
and you can't...
these memories are talking and talking
and I'll do anything to shut 'em up
I've got the pillow over my head
but they won't stop
no, no they won't stop
some fantasies are never meant to be
realized at all
and some regrets could be prevented
if you read the writing on the wall
oh and sometimes you say "you know nothing can happen"
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
and the next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
oh and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted...
and allowing time to pass
this is a story of forgiveness
and breaking things in my hands
this is a story of understanding
you can't choose who you love
and this is a story of soft skin
and rats in the walls
well you can't just pass along
the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
this is a story of loaded glances
and leaning in too far
this is a story of vague advances
and confessions in smoky bars
so now I am walking down the sidewalk
and I am singing to myself
and I'm going to leave it all behind me now
'cause I don't need this,
I just don't need this
and you can't...
these memories are talking and talking
and I'll do anything to shut 'em up
I've got the pillow over my head
but they won't stop
no, no they won't stop
some fantasies are never meant to be
realized at all
and some regrets could be prevented
if you read the writing on the wall
oh and sometimes you say "you know nothing can happen"
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
and the next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
oh and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted...
Lyrics submitted by aisa
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First song I heard of Pureka's, and it just grabbed my heart and tugged. Truly beautiful. I can listen to it over and over.
I can see two scenarios for this song...
Scenario A. This is about the narrator sleeping with someone who was in a relationship and then regretting it. She's since had to "burn that bridge" with the person. It was someone who she'd liked for a long time ("you can't choose who you love" - "some fantasies are never meant to be") who came on to her in a bar ("confessions in smoky bars"); they hooked up ("next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty") and now "these memories are talking and talking and I'll do anything to shut 'em up."
The lines "I know you didn't mean to let me down/but you let me down so hard" make me think that the narrator thought the person was going to leave her partner for the narrator, but didn't... also hence the ending: "oh and when did you leave me/and when did you find her/and tell me is this just what you wanted..." The "rats in the walls" is the affair. The bridge makes it sound like the person then blamed the narrator for the affair "well you can't just pass along/the pain that comes around" and went back to who she was with before. Although, "this is a story of forgiveness" so maybe the narrator has forgiven herself in the end.
Scenario B. This is about the narrator's sig. other cheating on her with someone else, and her sig. other has come and told her this story. This makes the "story of forgiveness" line mean she's forgiving the affair (perhaps after "burning bridges and allowing time to pass," afterwards she's "understanding/you can't choose who you love"). Then all the "memories" that "are talking and talking" are her imagining the scenario of her sig. other sleeping with this other woman, and it's her sig. other saying "you know nothing can happen" but still succumbing to being seduced by the other woman with "loaded glances ... vague advances ... in smoky bars." Hence "I know you didn't mean to let me down/but you let me down so hard." and also "oh and when did you leave me/and when did you find her/and tell me is this just what you wanted..." which would be the narrator talking to her sig. other. The affair is still "the rats in the walls."
Neither makes perfect sense... any other ideas?
Allow me to gush. If you desire interpretation read no further.
I love to relate to song writers. This song is full of imagery that's important to me.
this is a story about loving and learning. you can't just pass the pain along. and sometimes you say "you know nothing can happen". this takes us all a few tries to figure this stuff out.
And this:
this is a story of loaded glances and leaning in too far this is a story of vague advances and confessions in smoky bars
this verse is so amazing
guys, please help me with the meaning of "rats in the walls"! (english is not my native language and i've never met this before)OR is it a reference to H.P. Lovercraft's story of the same name? thanx!
Originally I thought it was a song about unrequited love in general... probably because the words resonated so strongly with my own situation. But looking closely, Pureka is quite clear about the "story" she describes in the last verse. So I will jump to that part first - it's what's causing her the pain.
Her lover fell for another woman. The lover probably thought she was just going to be friends with this other woman, but "you can't choose who you love" - and things just happened. She's guilty because she does love Pureka, but she was weakened by "liquor" and the headiness of her attraction ("perfume").
So now Pureka is super depressed because it's a bad situation. She understands it's not her lover's fault, that she didn't mean to "let me down"... but it still hurts like hell. Pureka needs to get away from everything, burn the bridges, "allowing time to pass", and eventually forgive. But it hurts! Pureka is very bitter about it, asking "is this just what you wanted?" and breaks "things in my hand". It's a sad testament to how hard it is to reconcile feelings with logic... understanding with emotion.