This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
V1
Im half way home
But its still a long road to be traveled
And I know at any given moment
Things can go soar
From sweet to the streets on fire
Problems unravel
Still holdin my breath
Boots laced for battle
In a place
Where they would gladly
See me scattered all over they streets
Cause here my life don’t matter
And thought they smile
Underneath those grins
They only waitin on they next chance
To try to kill me again
And don’t be caught thinking out here
That your chances are slim
Cause there are those who have thought it
Who will never think again
Cause we’re alone in this country
140, 000 friends
and some 20 odd million
that ed see us all dead
you could only imagine our struggle
the odds were against
where they are at all times
playin both sides of the fence
and thought they havnt gotten me yet
I still aint home
And till then
Its only a matter time till im gone
Chorus
Its only a matter of time For they get me
Though so far they missed me
Next time they shoot in my direction
Could be the one that hits me
Yeah the odds is against me
Lucks been wit me so far
I know deaths round the corner
But I don’t know how far
And I aint trying to hear my #
Though it could be the next one called
Told my family I’d be home
But iraqs trying to prove me wrong
This weighs heavy on my shoulders
I can only be so strong
sure we all gon survive
But we don’t know how long
V2
Started out with 60 minutes
In the game of our lives
And so far thank god
Everything is alright
From bein in the middle of the street
In the middle of the night
Where they are baitin they hooks
Castin and hopin I bite
And its too late
Here to be worried whether or not this is right
When its somebody on every corner
Ready to widow my wife
And I can feel it more than a lil bit
Impactin my life
Got me wantin to kill everything
That moves into my sight
Cause I can lose only once
And there are no rematches
And there is no 2 minute warning
cant brace for it happens
so we face it
and come so close we can taste it
the one trip we take everyday
and hope we never make it
cause deaths right behind us
and some of us will never shakem
but when we are challenged
we can not refuse to playem
so we knuckle the fuck up
and start swinging
know its only a matter of time
but right now we are not leavin
chorus
v3
look here, im trying to keep it together
but things fall apart
specially when im gon for so long
losin feelin in my heart
desensitized by my surroundings
every colors turning dark
I don’t see nothing beautiful no more
Only targets my reticle marks
Was emotional then emotionless
Now I don’t feel a thing
And though it once killed me to kill
I’d gladly do it again
If only you could really understand
The state of mind that im in
Only then could you feel me
Only then would I make sense
If only I hadn’t a been to
some of the places I had been
If only I wouldn’t a seen what I saw
Maybe I could feel again
But its too hard to separate
Whats goin on within me
Its just so much easier
To let hate be my remedy
So for everything im guilty of
Let the lord sentence me
If only I wouldnt a let everything
I been thru get to me
Things could a been different
But that is not my reality
And either way
Its only a matter of time for im outta here.
Im half way home
But its still a long road to be traveled
And I know at any given moment
Things can go soar
From sweet to the streets on fire
Problems unravel
Still holdin my breath
Boots laced for battle
In a place
Where they would gladly
See me scattered all over they streets
Cause here my life don’t matter
And thought they smile
Underneath those grins
They only waitin on they next chance
To try to kill me again
And don’t be caught thinking out here
That your chances are slim
Cause there are those who have thought it
Who will never think again
Cause we’re alone in this country
140, 000 friends
and some 20 odd million
that ed see us all dead
you could only imagine our struggle
the odds were against
where they are at all times
playin both sides of the fence
and thought they havnt gotten me yet
I still aint home
And till then
Its only a matter time till im gone
Chorus
Its only a matter of time For they get me
Though so far they missed me
Next time they shoot in my direction
Could be the one that hits me
Yeah the odds is against me
Lucks been wit me so far
I know deaths round the corner
But I don’t know how far
And I aint trying to hear my #
Though it could be the next one called
Told my family I’d be home
But iraqs trying to prove me wrong
This weighs heavy on my shoulders
I can only be so strong
sure we all gon survive
But we don’t know how long
V2
Started out with 60 minutes
In the game of our lives
And so far thank god
Everything is alright
From bein in the middle of the street
In the middle of the night
Where they are baitin they hooks
Castin and hopin I bite
And its too late
Here to be worried whether or not this is right
When its somebody on every corner
Ready to widow my wife
And I can feel it more than a lil bit
Impactin my life
Got me wantin to kill everything
That moves into my sight
Cause I can lose only once
And there are no rematches
And there is no 2 minute warning
cant brace for it happens
so we face it
and come so close we can taste it
the one trip we take everyday
and hope we never make it
cause deaths right behind us
and some of us will never shakem
but when we are challenged
we can not refuse to playem
so we knuckle the fuck up
and start swinging
know its only a matter of time
but right now we are not leavin
chorus
v3
look here, im trying to keep it together
but things fall apart
specially when im gon for so long
losin feelin in my heart
desensitized by my surroundings
every colors turning dark
I don’t see nothing beautiful no more
Only targets my reticle marks
Was emotional then emotionless
Now I don’t feel a thing
And though it once killed me to kill
I’d gladly do it again
If only you could really understand
The state of mind that im in
Only then could you feel me
Only then would I make sense
If only I hadn’t a been to
some of the places I had been
If only I wouldn’t a seen what I saw
Maybe I could feel again
But its too hard to separate
Whats goin on within me
Its just so much easier
To let hate be my remedy
So for everything im guilty of
Let the lord sentence me
If only I wouldnt a let everything
I been thru get to me
Things could a been different
But that is not my reality
And either way
Its only a matter of time for im outta here.
Lyrics submitted by phillyt23
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