Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
This, this is not my life
This, this is not my life
This is not my face,
This is not my place, no it's just isn't right
This, this is not my life
You, do you remember me?
Remember, the way that it used to be.
Do you remember our car,
Do you remember our house,
Do you remember what it was like
Cause this, this is not my life
[Chorus]
My life, my life, (Now I live in the shadows)
My life, my life, (Because you are my life)
My life, my life,
My life
You're the only one, who can see, the real me
You're the only one, can't you see, can't you see
You took away my world
You took away my world
You took away my smile,
You took away my life,
You took away my reason to live
You, you took away my world
And this is not my life
And this is not my life
My life, my life, ('Cause now I live in the shadows)
My life, my life, (Because you are my life)
My life, my life, (And now it's endless night)
My life, my life, (And this is not my life)
My life, my life,
My life, my life
This, this is not my life
This is not my face,
This is not my place, no it's just isn't right
This, this is not my life
You, do you remember me?
Remember, the way that it used to be.
Do you remember our car,
Do you remember our house,
Do you remember what it was like
Cause this, this is not my life
[Chorus]
My life, my life, (Now I live in the shadows)
My life, my life, (Because you are my life)
My life, my life,
My life
You're the only one, who can see, the real me
You're the only one, can't you see, can't you see
You took away my world
You took away my world
You took away my smile,
You took away my life,
You took away my reason to live
You, you took away my world
And this is not my life
And this is not my life
My life, my life, ('Cause now I live in the shadows)
My life, my life, (Because you are my life)
My life, my life, (And now it's endless night)
My life, my life, (And this is not my life)
My life, my life,
My life, my life
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The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
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In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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This is a sequel to 2001's "Reckless Abandon", and features the band looking back on their clumsy youth fondly.
This song is about a guy reacting to a breakup (or perhaps more likely, a divorce). He's not able to move on and get over it because he insists that "this is not my life", and that "I live in the shadows...Because you are my life." "This is not my life" and "You took away my world" implies that he is now living single as opposed to in a relationship or marriage. Apparently she was the pin that was holding everything together, and now his whole way of life is altered. ("Do you remember our car/house/what it was like?") He had invested a lot into this girl and now she's gone, and now it seems like all the color is gone from his world.