In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows


Lyrics submitted by kevin

And So It Goes Lyrics as written by Billy Joel

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

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And So It Goes song meanings
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54 Comments

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  • +3
    General Comment

    They're right. It's about Elle MacPherson, not Elizabeth, though it's entirely possible that (based on other things we know about Joel) the two were taking place at about the same time.

    I admire and respect the man, and he's probably my favorite artist of all time, but even I can admit that he isn't exactly known for his fidelity.

    He does state in interviews that this about Elle however, and they didn't start (publicly) dating until he was divorced from Elizabeth.

    Alastoron July 21, 2010   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    well, yeah, here i go again not being able to express myself. but after the conversation i had with this amazing boy last nite, it's exactly how i feel. i'll share my room if he wants, but i can't help thinking he won't want to . . .

    chickonstageon September 14, 2002   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    To write a song this deep, you MUST know what hurt is. The great songwriters have LIVED. That is the only way they can touch you so profoundly.

    What a piece life this song is!

    MarkL5on December 22, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I heard this song from the mixed honor choir in Alabama and just cried my heart out. I am a very quiet person and have experienced good and bad things because of it. It is hard to know when to stay quiet and when to express your love or gratitude. Love the love. And dont be afraid.

    JessiLon April 28, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I'm listening to this right now and it is a beautiful song, but i find it very sad but at the same time hopeful.

    freddysgirlon May 29, 2002   Link
  • +1
    Song Meaning

    In every heart there is a room, (there is a place of refuge within ones self) A sanctuary safe and strong, (A place of healing and safety from heart break) To heal the wounds of lovers past, (It is a place of recovery from past heart break) Until a new one comes a long, (Until a new lover comes along)

    I spoke to you (new lover) in cautious tone, (I was scared to tell you about myself) You answered me with no pretense, (You answered me without pretending to love me) But still i fear ive said to much, (Im afraid ive told you to much about my self) My silence is my self defense, (Being quiet is the only way to keep from being hurt again)

    And every time ive held a rose, (every time that ive had love) It seems ive only felt the thorns, (its seems ive always gotten hurt) And so it goes, and so it goes, (And so it leaves me) And so will you soon i suppose, (Im guessing you will leave me heart broken like every one else has)

    But if my silence made you leave, (If my insecurity made you leave me) Then that would be my worst mistake, (Then i could miss out on true love) So i will share this room with you, (So you can enter my place of refuge) And you can have this heart to break, (And you can break my heart)

    And this is why my eyes are closed, (This is why i cant see if you will hurt me) Its just as well for all ive seen, (Its because ive seen alot of people who love me and leave me) And so it goes and so it goes, (And it continues) But your the only one who knows, (You are the first person ive told this to)

    So i will choose to be with you, (I will trust you) As if the choice were mine to make, (As if I could resist you) But you can make decisions too, (But you can do what you want to me) And you can have this heart to break, (And you can break my heart)

    This song not only touches on heart break but it touches on the effects of heart break. After a heart is broken the person tends to be more cautious, and to say the least timid, about trusting another person. But the previous lover masked them selves so well that there is no way for a person with a broken heart to tell the difference between someone trying to hurt them or love them. So after a while the person with a broken heart will surrender his/her defense and just give in to anyone that seems suitable. Giving that person the chance to break there heart once more.

    -Anthony Johnson

    Ayjizzy010on January 19, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    The lyrics for this song are pretty straightforward and simple, but I really think that this song is supposed to relate to a breakup. Not someone who wants someone else to like them, but knows it not gonna happen, etc. etc.

    "In every heart there is a room A sanctuary safe and strong To heal the wounds from lovers past Until a new one comes along"

    This first stanza is not exactly an intro, but a synopsis of the song. The last two lines suggest that the narrator is going through a breakup.

    I guess the reason why I'm writing this is because, like everyone else here, I relate to this song and cry to it. I've been with someone for more than half a year now, and after this summer we're probably breaking up because of college/distance.

    "I spoke to you in cautious tones You answered me with no pretense And still I feel I said too much My silence is my self defense"

    This part really speaks to me. When we talked about this inevitable situation, he really "answered with no pretense." And for me, I draw back in silence because I'm always too afraid to speak out my feelings. It's almost as if speaking them out is confronting my feelings, which will lead to more tears and pain.

    "So I would choose to be with you That's if the choice were mine to make But you can make decisions too And you can have this heart to break"

    This part always makes me cry the hardest. I feel that since I'm the one staying, and he the one leaving..he feels more comfortable ending the relationship, because he's moving on to something new and exciting. It is really up to him to decide how this relationship will play out in the end, and I think the narrator here feels the same way. Just waiting for the verdict.

    If you actually read through all this, thank you, and this song is really therapeutic for me.

    icansingmyabdon June 01, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    this song really speaks to me, since i've definitely lost relationships by keeping silent. i really love it, and it reminds me of one specific time in my life, and i end up crying almost every time i hear it. i have a great version of it live at the NYE concert and i love it.

    rachypoo6on April 16, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    My friends at All-State told me I had to hear this, and each verse reminds me of one of my friends. The first verse makes me think of Kelli L. she is there to heal wounds and to help me and give me a "room" in her heart until I'm better. The second reminds me of Lindsay B. I speak to her a LOT and I do it in "cautious tones" because I know she will always know what's up with me. Once Im through I feel like I have spoken too much, and so I try to be silent and not speak so much. Hence, my silence is my self-defense. The third reminds me of really of myself. I never really see the beauty of the "rose" (situation) until it has passed, and I while it is there I feel all the thorns and negativeness about it. The fourth, without a doubt reminds me of Jessi L. She is the most soft-spoken, yet honest person I know, and I am sure she is afraid that her silence will make others leave, when in fact it makes them stay. And while they stay, she finds a place for them, and allows them to leave and break her heart. The fifth, oddly, reminds me of Ashley B. It seems odd, but I really think she keeps her "eyes" closed because of all she has seen. I dont wanna tell anything, but it very much applies to her. And lastly, the 6th verse is Melissa J. she wants to be a friend to all, that's if she could make the choice, but it's not always her choice, so sometimes, she will kindly acknowledge that we can make choices too, and lets people break her heart. And so it goes, and so it goes.

    heafaron April 28, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    this song makes me cry every single time i listen to it..i love it so much, even billy sounds sad when he's singing it...its just amazing

    CountMyCrowson May 17, 2002   Link

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