Soul to Squeeze

Let me preface this by saying 1. I am not a person who perceives every song to be drug-related. I will be the first to say that a song is not about drugs. 2. I am an addict.

That being said, if I've ever heard a song about drugs, it's this one. However, though it is about drugs, it is also about God. The message of the song is hope and recovery.

I've got a bad disease But from my brain is where I bleed.

He is describing the disease of addiction and depression; they are both diseases, but of the mind and spirit rather than the body.

Insanity it seems Has got me by my soul to squeeze.

Insanity is a favorite term among the rooms of AA and NA. Addicts suffer from insanity because, no matter how badly they want to stop and no matter the consequences, they will continue to do drugs even after their family deserts them and all bridges have been burnt. The feeling of being controlled by the drugs grips the addict at the soul and squeezes until help is found or death comes.

Well all the love from thee With all the dying trees I scream.

His loved ones cannot help him, no matter how hard they try. He has "welled" all of the love they can muster by lying, manipulating, and stealing from them, taking advantage of their love for him. When they can't take anymore and he has no one to turn to, he "screams" (figuratively) in desperation, but cannot be heard, like the trees.

The angels in my dreams (yeah) Have turned to demons of greed that's me.

He is a good person at heart. While he once had faith and hope, the demon of addiction has invaded his very soul, turning him into a self-centered, selfish, greedy person; he now identifies himself as this person "that's me."

Where I go I just don't know I got to got to gotta take it slow.

Another popular slogan of AA/NA is "Easy does it" meaning that sobriety can take a long time to achieve, but one must be patient. It didn't take a week to become an addict, and it won't take a week to recover. As they say in the rooms, "Keep coming back." He doesn't know what his path will be, but he must trust in God and have faith.

When I find my peace of mind I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

When he eventually does find peace and serenity, he wants to share it with others. He wants to be the good-hearted person he knows lies deep inside, and he wants to be able to help others, which was impossible when he was in the grips of addiction. He knows that until he does find that peace over his inner conflict, he cannot be very effective at helping others.

Today love smiled on me. It took away my pain said, "Please, Oh let your ride be free. You gotta let it be." oh yeah

Today he finally felt the feeling of love. While he was using, he could never feel love because the drugs robbed him of that ability. Love, which I believe to be a metaphor for God, asked him to let himself be free of the bondage of addiction for the ride: his life. God said "You gotta let it be," because the addict is known to get caught up in trying to change things that are out of his control, and this is often the downfall into relapse.

Oh, so polite indeed Well I got everything I need.

He is now a decent person and respects others. Since he has allowed God into his life, God has taken care of him and, although he may not get everything he wants, he gets everything he needs.

"Oh make my days a breeze And take away my self-destruction."

This sounds like a prayer. He is asking for peace in his life and to be free of the chaos that used to plague him. This peace will take away his self-destruction, meaning his obsession with his chemical of choice and his old self-defeating ways.

It's bitter baby, And it's very sweet. I'm on a rollercoaster, but I'm on my feet.

He is describing life, which brings ups and downs for everyone, but he is now "on his feet" meaning he is recovered from his dilemma and is no longer crippled by drugs.

Take me to the river, Let me on your shore. I'll be coming back baby, I'll be coming back for more.

He can now appreciate God's creation, nature, for its beauty; when he was using he could not appreciate anything, let alone a river. Now that he has experienced this feeling of true happiness, he will not abandon God, but will come back for more.

I could not forget But I will not endeavor

He still craves drugs once in a while, he cannot forget the feelings of euphoria he felt while high. However, he will not make the mistake of using again, because he knows it will result in doom.

Simple pleasures aren't as special But I won't regret it never.

The drugs have somewhat damaged his ability to fully enjoy the simple things in life, like walking down the street and breathing fresh air, but he does not regret his experiences with drugs, because without going through hell and experiencing the worst, he could not have been saved and find God and his inner peace.

Where I go I just don't know I might end up somewhere in Mexico.

Again, he does not know where the road of life will take him, but he accepts that it is God's will and he is happy wherever it may be.

When I find my peace of mind I'm gonna keep it for the end of time.

He cherishes his peace of mind, and he refuses to give it up by picking up drugs again. He never wants to feel like he felt in addiction again.