Sacrifice

I have long wondered what the one words is- whent it says "It's." Today I decided that he probably means LOVE, as the word. Here's my take on the song. If you disagree, I hope you'll try to be nice about it. I don't believe anyone deserves to be verbally attacked for their own OPINIONS!)

===== It's a human sign When things go wrong When the scent of her lingers And temptation's strong

His thoughts are drawn to another woman in his life. It may be just that she is very warm, kind, vibrant, and compassionate. Or it may be that he's had an affair (Oh I hope not!)

The likelilhood is that his marriage is probably a difficult one. It probably lacks healthy, happy elements in some very important areas.

When a marriage is healthy and generally happy a man is less likely to notice, or at least follow after, a woman who is not his wife--unless he is being emotionally or physically unfulfilled in his marriage.

===== Into the boundary Of each married man Sweet deceit comes calling And negativity lands

I think a man (or woman) has to be careful because there are always people we naturally find attractive. People who are more funny, or kind, or whatever attributes we admire, than our spouse may posses.

The "negativity lands" when he pays too much attention, or he is drawn in by the attraction.

===

Cold cold heart HARDENED by you Some things look better baby Just passing through

I think the man is saying that the wife has been part of turning his heart cold, and has made him feel harder, instead of more tender toward her (as he felt when they were first married).

I think the "Some things look better just passing through" may mean that life isn't just what we see superficially- life is exploring the depths of love- even if that love involves some pain.

Things may look better superficially passing through, because we all tend to put "our best foot forward" for others, but the best side others see is not usually the whole reality of us-because it fails to show our flaws, shortcoming, or weaknesses.

And it's no sacrifice Just a simple word It's two hearts living In two separate worlds

Now, here's the tricky part. What is the word he's referring too. If any specific (which seems unlikely).

What is "no sacrifice?" Is the word LOVE? Could it be read like this:

"And real love is no sacrifice. Love is a simple word."

For me, the part that this gets tricky is that TRUE & happy love doesn't generally happen in seperate worlds. Real love is united and seeks to work together.

But with the song I think it is referring to a man and wife who live in two seperate worlds because they've grown apart, but love still exists within their individual hearts. It exists in my mind- kind of like a seed that could still be nourished and could bloom--if each do their part to water the seed of love--instead of leaving it to die.

But it's no sacrifice No sacrifice It's no sacrifice at all

So, again, I think this could be read,

"So Real love is no sacrifice at all because it's worth every effort and in the end- even when it's painful and causes suffering it's not really a sacrifice in the scheme of things, because the sweetness gained from "sacrificing" for love really is swallowed up in the initial "sacrifices made for love." And therefore any sacrifice given for the nurture and joy of love, was really NO SACRIFICE at all!

(A bit redundent, but no time for much more editing of this!)

The usage of the word "sacrifice" here is hard for me because I look at sacrifice in terms of giving up something for something of greater things.

Real Love often must make sacrifice by giving up the desires of the moment, for the privileges and blessings of the future.

So in the scheme of things (to reiterate) I imagine it saying"

"This really isn't a sacrifice because love will create so much beauty in the end, that this temporary suffering isn't a sacrifice, or loss, of anything"

==== Mutual misunderstanding After the fact Sensitivity builds a prison In the final act

So we are back to the overriding challenges of the marriage of this man and woman. She misunderstands the truth and goodness of his heart, and he misunderstands her heart because she is being so difficult that it's hard to see past the pricklies into the virtues of her character. (I recommend the book: How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love PersonalitiesAug 8, 1999 by John L. Lundd)

They both misunderstand eachother after something happens--maybe the something is having looked at a woman, talked to her, but hopefully nothing worse. Though in the case of the song it may refenence an affair. Or maybe an affair of the heart. (While this is directed to those of the LDS faith, the principles are basic and clear in how affairs of the heart happen and how they can be avoided, or can find healing! lds.org/ensign/2017/01/marriage-technology-and-emotional-infidelity)

Anyhow, I think in this case sensitivity is not spoken in terms of being considerate and thoughtful of someone else. I think it means being overly sensitive to self and the pain and hurt that the self feels. Sensitivity in a selfish aspect has build a prison wall in the heart of each of these people.

Now, as I've reference, "the final act" may speak of an affair, but I prefer to think it's more symbolic of the fact that our marriages are the final act of life. It is afterall what most people dreamed of since they were little children.

I think the "final act" is like the final act of the play where the outcome is determined.

I think that the challenge for this husband and wife is to learn to have mutual understanding and tender sensitivity to the needs of the spouse--which will mean of lot of work. But only these two people can determine how their play ends!

We lose direction No stone unturned No tears to damn you When jealousy burns

Again, the challenges of marriage are laid out here- especially when a woman (or man) feels upset at the other.

They lose a sense of purpose and direction for their marriage and their goals together. All the painful, hurtful stones of an experience are overturned and studied. And he has no tears to cry over what he is feeling, which he seems to be saying would only somehow add to the reason she finds him guilty (to damn him)- from her jealous perspective.

So is he saying, but in the scheme of eternity none if this is really a (loosely spoken) sacrifice because it's all worth it how it will all work out in the end, and he can handle the torture and pain, if REAL LOVE is able to survive the sorrow of temporary experience?

Are the words saying that his willingness to be righteous (and not give into selfish temptation of adultery) is worth it all because TRUE love is worth any sacrifice, and no price is too high for it--even if it seems initially that there is a sacrifice- the benefits of love outweight the sting and sorrow of the moment?

I have writen my perspective as that of a Christian (Mormon/LDS) and I firmly believe that there is hope through Christ. I believe that we can take our flaws characters and improve them with the help of Christ, and God our Heavenly Father.

I believe that marriage is ordained of God, and it takes a lot of work and effort to repair troubled marriaged. I believe that even if a spouse is difficult, cold, or hurtful that we can only work to change and improve ourself.

Barring physical abuse, I personally don't think we should just give up because things are rough in a marriage, but of course, that is between you and God!

I think we must be vigilant in guarding and protecting our marriage from the temptation of another person.

In the end I think we can find healing through Christ, even if our marriage isn't the way we dreamed it would be! I think living honorably before God is far more important than any temporary pleasure we could seek out, to make up for a troubled marriage.

There are resources for marriage problems. These are what come to mind when i say that there are resources to help with a troubled marriage. I feel these can be done simultaneously, or in steps.

==

1. First is looking to God in prayerful direction, daily study of His word, and attending church.

2. Second is working on fixing ourselves (never our spouse)! We have to be careful in how we manage our time, and we must be careful to avoid addiction with movies, pornography, etc.-which will never help foster a healthy marraige.

3. Third, there is is counseling and/or doctors to help us us find medications to help possibly moderate physcial/emotional challenges.

There are many things to do to help a marriage, but those are a start.

Essentially you need to get back to the point where love began. Where you cared for someone else, as much as you cared about yourself.

Love means being unselfish with them, and sharing your hopes and dreams...but not all marriages are "emotionally safe" and for those a lot of work remains to be done!

But, now matter what the circumstances, we must never justify cheating on our spouse, even if they are miserable or difficult to live with.

We must be loyal at all cost. And no matter what the song says--LOVE REALLY is a SACRIFICE! But it's worth it in the end if we can keep a conscious clean and pure before God, it will not have really have been a sacrifice at all because His love and approval is the sweetest thing possible!