I really think I should've gone to bed tonight but...
"Just one drink
And there're some people to meet you
I think that you'll like them
I have to say we do
And i promise in less than than an hour we will honestly go...
Now why don't I just get you another
While you just say hello... "
Another glass in my hand
And my mouth and the smiles
Moving up as I stand up
Too close and too wide
And the smiles are too bright
And I breathe in too deep
And my head's getting light
But the air is getting heavier and it's closer
And I'm starting to sway
And the hands all on my shoulders don't have names
And they won't go away
So here I go
Here I go again...
And it's only just eleven
And I'm staring like a child
Until someone slips me heaven
And I take it on my knees
Just like a thousand times before
And I get transfixed
That fixed
And I'm just looking at the floor
Just looking at the floor
Yeah i look at the floor...
Like an animal in pain
And I've got blood on my hands
And I've got hands in my brain
And the first short retch
Leaves me gasping for more
And I stagger over screaming
On my way to the floor
And I'm back on my back
With the lights and the lies in my eyes
And the colour and the music's too loud
And my head's all the wrong size
So here I go
Here I go again...
And I sing and I laugh
And I dance and I laugh
And I laugh and I laugh
And I can't seem to think
Where this is
Who I am
Why I'm keeping this going
Keep pouring it out
Keep pouring it down
Keeping it going
Keep pouring it down
And the way the rain comes down hard...
That's the way I feel inside...
This it I've become
This is it like I get
When my life's going numb
I just keep moving my mouth
I just keep moving my feet
I say I'm loving you to death
Like I'm losing my breath
And all the smiles that I wear
And all the games that I play
And all the drinks that I mix
And i drink until I'm sick
And all the faces I make
And all the shapes that I throw
And alll the people I meet
And all the words that I know
Makes me sick to the heart
Oh I feel so tired...
That's how I feel inside...
hooked up with the worng crowd. drugs. alcohol. some recognized vice. shouldnt be here tonight. getting more drunk. inebriated. and then the drug. slip of heaven. once more in a mess. animal in pain. shouldnt have done that. trying to quit but tried one more time. why not. just once more. laugh and dance but its all empty. feeling grey and black. realization of failure due to the substance. realization of empty and wrongness makes it feel like rain
Feeling horribly uncomfortable at a party until someone "slips you heaven" in the form of a drug then it's a rollercoaster ride followed by the inevitable sickness that ensues.
that song describes the way i think and feel, when my friends "force" me to go to a party. and when i leave alone, they will ask me the other day."why did you leave" and i would like to say "i hate all this senseless shit". and the worst thing is if you stand around, pretending you like, but for real hating it, while the one you love is licking around with some motherfuck in the center of the dancecourt. i love the cure because the simply express what i feel and think.
haven't you felt like this before? sick of it all. all the people. all the places. fake smiles. fake happiness. just pretend to be. but not to be. and you're very tired. don't want to live that way. haven't you felt like this before?
We all find ourselves in situations like this at some point in our lives; Being somewhere we don't want to be, being with people we don't want to be with, doing stuff we don't want to do. And we find it so hard to explain how it feels. But this song...this song explains it all. It's perfect.
It's great how The Cure can explain something we all understand so easily.
no one has posted anything about this song in conjuction with there life....i had this g/ i was crazy for...but she was in college and i was 25....so the age we didnt relate, but she had these friends she partyed with.....and everytime she went or i went with her to her friends dorms.....i just sat there on the floor looking down......with this song playing in my head.....i couldnt relate to them.....i didnt like them.....i treated them like crap....and later on her.....something i "wish" i could take back.....and not be so shut up inside....sry ashleigh...
Yeah I've felt just like this, many many times - except not done the drugs - but my slip of heaven was just excessive alcohol to try and numb my pain and stuff down that emptiness that was trying to scream out of my mouth...twenty years later in the grip of depression I still feel the same about the false smiles - trying to say I'm okay and carry on - sick of antidepressants and the side-effects, self-harming to get by, and "the way the rain comes down hard...that's the way I feel inside..."
Before reading the previous posts, I always pictured a person that was drugged by something in their drink, and taken advantage of. Everything after the first "here I go again..." is about being sexually assaulted while under the influence of this drug, then they just go ahead and accept that they've become this type of person.
I can see how he would feel like he's being violated by fake people that surround him due to his fame though.
This song is about being an alcoholic. Nothing else. I always hate it when he sings "laugh like an animal in pain" - such a distressing line.
this song to me resonated heavily with me when i was manic, i have bipolar disorder & i found this song during my manic episode & played it repeatedly- all the smiles that i wear, all the games that i play, all the drinks that i mix, i drink till im sick, all the faces i make, all the shapes that i throw, all the people that i meet & all the words that i know
that shit was me when i was manic. never felt anything like it