In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
Go ahead push your luck
Find out how much love the world can hold
Once upon a time I had control and reined my soul in tight
Well the whole truth
Is like the story of a wave unfurled
But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide froze it up from inside
And it felt like
A winter machine that you go through and then
You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound
And when I chose to live
There was no joy it's just a line I crossed
It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost
So I was not lost or found
And if I was to sleep
I knew my family had more truth to tell
And so I traveled down a whispering well
To know myself through them
Growing up my mom had a room full of books
And hid away in there
Her father raging down a spiral stair
Till he found someone, most days his son
And sometimes I think
My father, too, is a refugee
I know they tried to keep their pain from me
They could not see what it was for
But now I'm sleeping fine
Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
I am the daughter of a great romance
And they are the children of the war
Well, the sun rose
With so many colors it nearly broke my heart
It worked me over like a work of art
And I was a part of all that
So go ahead push your luck
Say what it is you gotta say to me
We will push on into that mystery
And it will push right back
And there are worse things than that
'Cause for every price
And every penance that I could think of
It's better to have fallen in love
Than never to have fallen at all
'Cause when you live in a world
Well it gets in to who you thought you'd be
And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I think life chose me
After all
Find out how much love the world can hold
Once upon a time I had control and reined my soul in tight
Well the whole truth
Is like the story of a wave unfurled
But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide froze it up from inside
And it felt like
A winter machine that you go through and then
You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound
And when I chose to live
There was no joy it's just a line I crossed
It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost
So I was not lost or found
And if I was to sleep
I knew my family had more truth to tell
And so I traveled down a whispering well
To know myself through them
Growing up my mom had a room full of books
And hid away in there
Her father raging down a spiral stair
Till he found someone, most days his son
And sometimes I think
My father, too, is a refugee
I know they tried to keep their pain from me
They could not see what it was for
But now I'm sleeping fine
Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
I am the daughter of a great romance
And they are the children of the war
Well, the sun rose
With so many colors it nearly broke my heart
It worked me over like a work of art
And I was a part of all that
So go ahead push your luck
Say what it is you gotta say to me
We will push on into that mystery
And it will push right back
And there are worse things than that
'Cause for every price
And every penance that I could think of
It's better to have fallen in love
Than never to have fallen at all
'Cause when you live in a world
Well it gets in to who you thought you'd be
And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I think life chose me
After all
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Wow, I just joined SongMeanings.com, and I have to say I am really impressed and moved by some of the insights I see on this string.
"After All" is a song that is absolutely dear to me, and it's so cool seeing others' insights that lead me to say, "Wow I can so relate to what you took from that!"
As a therapist working with adolescents, I have used this song to help kids explore their depression, to derive some empathy from Dar's sharing of her own past depression, and to help kids find their own words to tell their own story.
I find the final verse incredibly powerful. That after dealing with such anguish, choosing life over death and STILL finding no meaning, continuing to struggle, and then---life chooses her after all. The beauty around her kind of comes to her in her hour of darkness, and she finds fulfillment kind of unexpectedly.
It's like, you don't get to choose when and how you'll come out the other side of some struggles. But you have to work, think, explore, survive, and when the time is right, healing and relief will kind of dawn on you.
What a gem that song is, and what a special artist Dar is.
I think {Vamped Vixen} hit it on the head. Dar's music is phenomenal because it's real. It's touching, funny, sad, poignant, meaningful, intelligent and true to her. This song helped me personally through my depression as a teen. The line "when i chose to live, there was no joy it's just a line I crossed..." I think you can only truly feel it if you've been there. This song described exactly how I felt. <br /> <br /> Perfect Dar. Just perfect. And thanks for signing my shoe =)
This song truly spoke to me. I thought I was alone in my depression when, in group therapy in a psychiatric facility (I was in my early 20's), people around me were gradually feeling "better." I tried and tried to feel better, but I still felt worthless and like I was a burden in this world. I felt that I had NOTHING to offer. I also felt like the desolation was so powerful, that I would never harness the light of hope. I tried "faking" it, but it did not change my feelings. I fakes my way out of the facility and was still very suicidal. I kept it to myself. When I got home from that stint in the hospital and saw my beautiful cats again, I made a decision that if for anybody or anything, I would live for them. I made a decision that day, thinking that I would be miserable for the rest of my life, but I would NEVER chose to end my life. I made that choice that Dar so elegantly sings about in her song. I felt just as numb after that I made that "choice" as I did before I made it. <br /> <br /> Today, at almost 40-years-old, I can think of no words to describe the relief that I feel that I did not take my life back then. I am grateful that I "chose" to live in spite of feeling that my life would be absolutely miserable until it was naturally "my time" to go. <br /> <br /> This song truly touched my soul and validated my sense that I really am a wanted and valuable human being. <br /> <br /> I have so much respect for Dar Williams in that she lays her truth bare in order to reach out to souls that feel isolated and alienated. I am still alone, but my "aloneness" is now a cozy home for me. I do hope that I find companionship; but I will also be "okay" if it is not in life's plan for me. <br /> <br /> Blessings with all of my heart to Dar Williams for sharing her gift.