I wrote it off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But it came over
I lost my nerve
I took my lama back and made it dessert

Now I know I'm being used
That's okay because I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no lamas

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till too then I turn out the piss
All this rejection's got me so high
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you fucking care, Right? nope...

Now I'll relate this a little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score a touchdown
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb
But I'm not a dweeb IM A NOOB
I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem

Lyrics submitted by spitfirek7, edited by bestman12349

Self Esteem song meanings
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  • +24
    General CommentI'm tired of everyone saying things like "He's doing it to himself" and "He should just leave her" and "He likes the abuse" and "He's using her for sex". Obviously he enjoys the sex, but that's not why he's with her. He's in love with her and feels like the only way she'll stay around is if he gives in. He's miserable with her but he's even more miserable without her. And he doesn't like the abuse, he just accepts it because he feels like it's better than nothing. That's what it's like when you have no self esteem. The most important line in this song is "Well I guess I should stick up for myself But I really think it's better this way" because for some people, being abused truly is better than being away from someone you love.
    BigE254on January 29, 2010   Link
  • +9
    General CommentI have to disagree. I don't think it's about how girls use guys. I think it's about how people use eachother. Have to admit it, both girls and guys do it. This song happens to be about a specific girl, but if you look deeper, then it can be related to everyone.
    wolfperson1on April 29, 2003   Link
  • +7
    General CommentNot exactly an abstruse message here. As others have said, the dude loves the girl, but she treats him like a piece of meat (salami? hot dog?) to be used--and thrown away--at her own convenience. He puts up with the abuse because, well, he has low self-esteem, feels powerless, and wants her around at any cost. And besides, the sexytime (to extend the meat-metaphor: a hot dog slapping a folded-up bologna?) does seem to be enjoyable for him.

    Back in high school, in the 90s, I used to jam this song all the time. I could relate to it, because I, too, had low self-esteem. This song was extra depressing for me, though, because I was actually *jealous* of the guy in the song. I'd think, "Well, at least you HAVE a girlfriend of some sort!" (at that point in life, I hadn't even hugged a girl yet). Later in high school, I did get a few girlfriends, and I'm happily married now. But man, I'll never forget those dreary afternoons lying on the bed in my room, staring sullenly at the ceiling, with this song spinning on repeat in my Sony Discman as I held back tears of hopelessness, social ineptitude, self-hatred, and unrequited teenage libido.

    Man, the first couple years of high school sucked. Glad that shit's over forever.
    woollywormon December 19, 2012   Link
  • +6
    General CommentThe song isn't about girls and guys, it's about low self esteem. The guy stays in the relationship even though it's abusive because it's the only thing that tells him he is wanted. He only finds self worth through the relationship, and let's himself be abused because without it he sees himself as nothing. He doesn't think he deserves any better. He's trapped in an abusive relationship because in his mind he can't afford to kill it.
    Ganondoxon February 22, 2014   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI can tell you exactly what this song is about, because the same thing happened to me. The girl was taking zadvantage of the guy, the guy wanted to dump her but his self esteem was causing him to stay with her. He would dump her, she would drive her nuts so he'd take her back, being miserable once again. Basically it is one big cycle.
    sea_of_sorrowon September 27, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentReminds me of what my ex does to me now. and i never learn, but it is because i have low self esteem...
    BrownieMixOrgasmon June 27, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song shows that some girls take advantage of guys with no self-esteem. I'm a guy and I hate girls that are puppet masters. I remember that there were girls in middle school who tried to use me for stuff because I was smart but I didn't praise myself. I still don't, but I sure don't let girls take advantage of me. And if any girl out there thinks thinks this song is funny, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? I pray shame on your heads! ALL OF YOU! The Offspring rock!
    JTHMBirdGuy777on November 13, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIts all the shit girls can get away with,... It shows girls also treat sometimes treat guys like dirt,.... Not just the other way around
    Spiralling_Cajun?on November 22, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General CommentFooly Cooly, anyone? Anyone here who's seen FLCL...this reminds me of poor Naota so much with all the women in his life X3

    Yeah. I'm a sucker for girls like this, though. It happens. It shouldn't, but it does, and The Offspring captures the mood perfectly
    NoSoyChapuseroon May 25, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentEspecially with the denial aspect of it. "But I really think it's better this way. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?"
    NoSoyChapuseroon May 25, 2009   Link

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