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I want you to know what I forgive you for
now that you’re all ashes anyway
Every step into the river pushes you further away
I want you to hear farm apologize
for letting you believe you could return
I want you to you dream in all the languages we couldn’t learn
I want you to write my name under your name
with the year
I was born and you began
to disappear
I want you to watch the generations sprawl
constellations in a northern sky
I want every satellite to circle you when you arrive
I want every highway sign to remember we were here
I want you to take your time to disappear
now that you’re all ashes anyway
Every step into the river pushes you further away
I want you to hear farm apologize
for letting you believe you could return
I want you to write my name under your name
with the year
I was born and you began
to disappear
constellations in a northern sky
I want every satellite to circle you when you arrive
I want every highway sign to remember we were here
I want you to take your time to disappear
This resonates as a song about the death of a parent where the relationship was strained and complicated. Maybe even estranged for periods. “I want you to write my name under your name, with the year I was born and you began to disappear” just cuts deep. Simultaneously saying “We were here” like graffiti on a playground, but the speaker assuming their birth was the reason their parent faded away. Perfectly encapsulates the unearned guilt the child of a troubled parent assumes, and the grief of what never was when they’re gone.
I can't listen to this song without putting tears makes me remember my dad for some reason makes me feel.... sad nostalgic lonely and here we go I'm crying again lol