So you're gonna live in paradise
With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins

So you're gonna live in paradise
With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
So you're gonna sacrifice your life
For a ride on a UFO
And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation
You're gonna be the first to know

So if
God was there from the very beginning
He invented men and women
Then He also invented wanking
Then He said wanking was sinning
So now if I'm feeling randy
I'm not allowed a hand shandy
But having sex with my family
That is just fucking great
It's all there in Ezekiel 8
Just before he opens up His big pearly gates
And says that it's a sin
To take it up the date
Even if it's great
Even with your cowboy mate

So you're gonna live in paradise
With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
So you're gonna sacrifice your life
For a shot at the greener grass
And when the Lord comes down with His shiny rod of judgement
He's gonna kick my heathen ass

So if you
Cover the bodies of your women
Everybody is grinning
Because black is so slimming
Though it's not great for swimming
But it gives you an erection
With the increased sexual tension
What with the UV protection
That is second to none
You'll find it all in the Koran
Just next to the bit that justifies guns
And says that it's a sin
To take it up the bum
Even if it's fun
Even with permission from your mum

So you're gonna live in paradise
With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
So you're gonna sacrifice your life
For a shot at eternity
And when the Lord comes down and I haven't done my penance
He's gonna disembowel me

You say that
If I
Stumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker
That a muffin presupposes a baker
So we must agree sooner or later
This proves there's a creator
So if I put your foot in a stinker
You'd assume the existence of a sphincter
Thus you don't need to be a great thinker
To conclude that God's a bum
Which negates the words of Genesis 1
Which make him out to be so much fun
Until Adam succumbed
To temptation
And then his only son
Got nailed to a gum

Or the Middle East equivalent
Which suggest that God's omniscience
Is nullified by his ambivalence
Unless it turns out that he's impotent
And if God can't get a boner
I guess that explains the plethora
Of huge erections in His honour
Cos we all know a steeple is just a subconscious
Compensatory manifestation of a huge, stiff penis
And still He tell us that it's heinous
To stick a penis up your anus
Even if you're famous
Even if you're good at tennis

So you're gonna live in paradise
With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins
So you're gonna sacrifice your life
For a ride on a UFO
And when the Lord comes down with His big, stiff, slimy rod of judgement
I'm gonna be the first to go
He's gonna send me down below
He's gonna whip me like a ho
D'you really think so?
I'm gonna be the first to go


Lyrics submitted by SandyHannah, edited by kelsey3700, Timwi, ericmuir123, Kelvets

Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins Lyrics as written by Tim Minchin

Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

Ten-Foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins song meanings
Add Your Thoughts

3 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +5
    My OpinionOnly once in a generation someone as insightful, intelligent, talented, and utterly mesmersing as Tim Minchin comes along.
    stelladessoyon January 06, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI love this... very self explanatory much like all his religion mocking songs.
    It shows the contradiction in religion and how people pick up on what they want to believe and dismiss other things which are just as justified in the book of the religion.

    but mostly its just so well written along his amazing piano skills makes an awesome song

    ellzon February 22, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthahaha awsom song. it's approaching the forbidden subjects of life in a very comical way. in other words its friggin hilariouse! i cant believe theres like virtually no other comments on tims songs!
    butterfly_girl9on March 02, 2008   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top