(*Fin)

my friend and i have been obsessed with this song for a while now after i introduced her to anberlin, and she found this on a youtube video called "Patron Saints" (there are more than one):

Stephen: " "Fin" is a series of four stories, that all tie together in the line 'patron saint of lost causes.' The first story is a personal memoir about my life as a child and the pull on my soul even then. I deliberated even at eight years old, that it would be better that God and the devil would just both leave me alone. The second story is about a couple from my early teen years church who cried for a miracle. It was a promised miracle, and it never came about. That leaves an impression. The third is about a mentor that used the guse of 'missions work' to leave his family in shambles and eventually decay. That plays with your salvation, when one experiences it. (The fourth story is about) Billy, a traveling 'healer' who crippled my life and growth right in front of me. All these things and many, many others made me lose my salvation. But later in life i realized i needed to stop looking at Christians to see Christ. I wrestled with God, and he won."

this is what Stephen says in an interview. I got this from: absolutepunk.net/showthread.php

Was there an inspiration or prior experience behind what you sang at the end of (*fin), since it was improvised? And what is the song about?

Stephen: I honestly just went with it. It was a rather spiritual experience for me. I have not a clue what i was saying. The great thing is to google it and see what other people think it said. Its hilarious. (*fin) is by far the most personal song in the arsenal. It is about being raised around suffocating religion and questioning the people who say they come in the name of ‘faith’ but are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

No other Christian song speaks to me like this song. Thousands, and probably millions of Christian songs out there in all sorts of genres. And most of the ones you hear about are always talking about how wonderful it is to be a Christian and how joyous life is. Truly, though, being a Christian is a world of struggle, pain, and desperation. Sure, it has it's ups, but being a pure and righteous person in an un-pure and unrighteous world is the greatest burden one being can take upon themselves. Jesus understood this more than anyone, and He was the ultimate sacrifice for humanity. If people think being a Christian (or Catholic in some cases) means you're life is wonderful and grand, and that Christians are nothing more than brainwashed psychos then they don't know anything. All they know are the ones who participate in actual brainwashing, and the ones who don't know what TRUE Christianity is. Real Christians suffer every day, all the time, and struggle with faith, life and hope in humanity. I know I do. Every day, it's becoming harder and harder for me to follow the footsteps of God, of Christ, but somehow, I just keep going. This song describes perfectly how much we Christians struggle with our faith and how hard it can be to find the strength and faith to keep moving and moving. For me, this song talks about how you cannot let the world dictate your relationship with God. Your relationship is between you and the Lord, and no others, and if you let others come in between that, you will never find peace. That mindset helps me keep going. Never, NEVER let the world tell you this and that, always follow the Lord, and in time, likely a very long time, you will find peace and happiness forever. Keep the faith.

This song is incredible. Definitely one of the best songs I've ever heard in my life, made me love Anberlin even more for many reasons. First, this song is very deep, got me thinking a lot when a lot when I first read the lyrics. Second, it's full of emotions: his voice is unreal, very powerful and emotional, especially the way he starts screaming at min 4:30 (with the choir) and "take what you will what you will --> this is not heaven this is my hell"... the song's perfectly composed and it's very well done (obviously). It's the kind of songs I can't get enough listening to, to the point that it made me shed a tear. (I'm not a cryer.) Plus, the fact that this song is about Stephen's experience with God made me love it even more, since I'm really into religion and I believe in God with passion. (Mostly) everyone goes through this phase when we refuse God or have some kind of doubt in his existence. Some people hate him because of the bad idea they took about religion, like it's some kind of slavery and strict rules which you have to follow. So this song is a message to everyone that doubts or maybe tempation happen to everyone, and the solution isn't giving giving up. I know I talked a lot, and I still have a lot to say but I'm out of words because this song is so insightful, intense and inspiring. Nine minutes of absolute perfection. Sorry for overtalking. I love you Stephen :)

This song literally made me cry. it's absolutely beautiful. just wow.

Oh yeah, and someone was asking about what a patron saint is, well, a patron saint is a saint regarded as the special guardian of a person, group, trade, country, etc. I used a dictionary.

Ok, I think this should clear up the meanings to some degree...from the horse's mouth (interview with Stephen from Anberlin, from hollywoodjesus.com).

HJ: Word choice seems really important to the band. I've taken a stab at the 'meanings' of a bunch of your songs in [my review] but "Fin" seems so compact and full, there's just a lot going on. Shed some light on that song. It seems personal, complete with names, [is it] an actual event? Help listeners (as "Whisper and A Clamor" is certainly a wake-up call) see what's behind the words of "Fin" and maybe other songs.

Stephen: “Fin” (pronounced like the fin on a shark’s back) means ending in French. I felt like this was a conclusion (or just a start) to my epic tug-of-war with God. I have a lot of questions, a lot that I may never really understand or have the capacity to comprehend in this lifetime. “Fin” is a series of four stories, that all tie together in the line ‘patron saint of lost causes.’ The first story is a personal memoir about my life as a child and the pull on my soul even then. I deliberated even at eight years old, that it would be better that God and the devil would just both leave me alone. The second story is about a couple from my early teen years’ church who cried for a miracle. It was a promised miracle, and it never came about. That leaves an impression. The third is about a mentor that used the guise of 'missions work' to leave his family in shambles and eventually decay. That plays with your salvation, when one experiences it. [The fourth story is about] Billy, a traveling ' healer' who crippled my life and growth right in front of me. All these things and many, many others made me lose my salvation. But later in life I realized I needed to stop looking at Christians to see Christ. I wrestled with God, and he won.

The next question is though - Stephen references four stories, but there's only 3 verses. Where do each of the stories fit in? "Billy" is obvious, but the others aren't so clear. And where do the "hidden lyrics" from the end fit it?

This song is...interesting. It's a great song, don't get me wrong, but I have to say, I never thought I'd be listening to Christian music, cuz I'm not...well, Christian, really. I don't disbelieve in God, I just...I'm kinda like Stephen actually. His response in that interview describes my views perfectly.

I looked this up about twenty minutes ago randomly because Anberlin is my ex-girlfriend's favorite band. I'd never given them a listen before, and I was thinkin' 'bout her...looked up "patron saint of lost causes," after remembering something she'd said, and found this song.

I'm not sure of all of what it means, other than of course the flat-out meaning with the St. Jude thing. I'm not well-versed in the Bible, but that sounds right, I believe. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to ME, though...perhaps she's MY patron saint of lost causes...

Excellent song. He has a GREAT voice, and I love the guitar and the choir stuff goin' on in the middle. I think I may just pick up this album...

i lovee this song so much.. its been a long time sense i've found a song that can draw me in like Fin does and can remain so captivating for practically 9 minutes. Just mindblowing! I love everyone's views on this song but i think it also has another satirical meaning everyone's missing...

The first part of the song:

"Tommy you're left behind Something you'll mean everything right before you die But if you gain the world You've already lost four little souls from your life Widows and orphans aren't hard to find Their home is in daddy who's saving you random tonight Where's your drink? And would hurry and kill you Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth"

I think this part is about an alchoholic who has lost everyone / thing in his life and just wants it to end.. therefore consuming his grief through his drink wish it would kill him because even if he was to rise above his problems his love ones are already gone.... (or something to that extent.. i also get a slight feeling that the loss of "four little souls" could be 1) from a court order. he lost his children because of his drinking addiction or 2) his drinking somehow caused the death of them. dunno, i'm kind of bad a interpretting lyrics =/)

then there is this part that really stands out:

"Billy, don't you understand? Timothy stood as long as he could and now You made his faith disappear More like a magician And less like a man of the cloth We're not questioning God Just those he chose to carry on his cross We'll grow better, you'll see Just all of us, the lost causes"

I believe this part is dealing with the ongoing struggle with homosexuality. These two men are struggling with their own personal love, faith, and trust in each other. It seems to me as if they are trying to keep their beliefs in God alive, but find that hard because the members of the church or the ones Jesus has taken in for salvation by the wording of the lyrics are all against their love.. I'm not quite sure if Anberlin is trying to make suicide a factor here, but it is obvious that the couple stopped their relationship together.

well, at least, those are my thoughts :)

Here's my long and unorganized interpretation of this song. haha. after reading the interview with Stephen Christian (the writer) it definitely opened my eyes to what this song is all about:

The first verse is about the couple (Mary and William) who don't get the miracle they needed.
It's also about his (Stephen's) personal struggle. He feels that God is miles away. "The house on Ridge Road" could be referring to his childhood home where he tells God and the Devil to leave him alone. I think the line "You'll just have to trust me" is spoken by God, and then the writer replies "I'm scared"

The second verse is about "a mentor that used the guise of ‘missions work’ to leave his family in shambles and eventually decay. " the mentor (Tommy) left behind something (his family) that will mean everything right before he dies. "You've already lost four little souls from your life." isn't talking about his children literally dying, it's talking about them being lost spiritually. "That plays with your salvation, when one experiences it." Imagine having a father who goes on missions work and shares his love with other people but never loved you? you would lose your trust in him. "Widows and orphans aren't hard to find" James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress..." it's a bit ironic. here's a man who goes far away to fulfill his religion when really the widow and orphans were waiting at home. "They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight" I'm not sure about the drinking part. It's kind of abstract.

The Third Verse is about "Billy, a traveling ‘ healer’ who crippled my life and growth right in front of me. " I think Stephen refers to himself as "Timothy" in this verse. he stood as long as he could but then Billy crippled his life and made his faith disappear. "We're not questioning God. Just those he chose to carry on His cross" a very powerful line. Brennan Manning once said, "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." It's interesting however, that a lot of people don't question God (which I think is the main point of this song) they question the ones who carry on his cross, i.e. Christians. Stephen Christian said "later in life I realized I needed to stop looking at Christians to see Christ. I wrestled with God, and he won"

This song has really been a wake-up call for me. funny, but I often look at Christians and how they act when I doubt God, but I get the opposite reaction. rather than seeing a lot of hypocrites I know a lot of good strong christians. without them, I might give up on God. but this song (and the interview) has showed me that I don't need to look at christians to see God.

anyway, I know this is probably really confusing. feedback is appreciated. :)