Brew the coffee in a bucket
Double straight man and banjo
If you don't got the snake oil
Buster, you don't got a show
Who puts the doh-re-me
In our pockets
Keeps the party going on?
It's the man
Who sells the potions
I'm just one who plays the songs
Now they generally buys
The bigger size
They usually rub it in
I drank it once, it tasted
Like grease and paraffin
It's mostly alcohol, okay
You can't deny it's strong
We was going through the motions
'til the doctor came along
There stands the bottle
Ladies and gentlemen
All these bottles
Don't have to tell you, friends
These days miracles
Don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
When the monkeyshine is flying
And he's promising the cure
He says the french
For your lovesick blues
La maladie d'amour
He gets the chumps all laughing
But he gets a few to buy
Here's to beefsteak when you're hungry
And whiskey when you're dry
Now the band'll blow their moolah
Like sailors gone ashore
Now we're going to west Helena
To gamble, drink and whore
Let's you and me all make whoopee
Here's mud in your eye
Here's to all the gals you ever want
And heaven when you die
There stands the bottle
Ladies and gentlemen
All these bottles
Don't have to tell you, friends
These days miracles
Don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
There's a big cheese with a cigar
Been sizing up the show
He wants to get the doctor
Pitching on the radio
I will make a switch to guitar
But the rules all still apply
They want to trust somebody
Yeah, they want a stand up guy
There stands the bottle
Here's to absent friends
All these bottles
Dead soldiers in the end
These days miracles don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
To the doctor a stand up guy
Double straight man and banjo
If you don't got the snake oil
Buster, you don't got a show
Who puts the doh-re-me
In our pockets
Keeps the party going on?
It's the man
Who sells the potions
I'm just one who plays the songs
Now they generally buys
The bigger size
They usually rub it in
I drank it once, it tasted
Like grease and paraffin
It's mostly alcohol, okay
You can't deny it's strong
We was going through the motions
'til the doctor came along
There stands the bottle
Ladies and gentlemen
All these bottles
Don't have to tell you, friends
These days miracles
Don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
When the monkeyshine is flying
And he's promising the cure
He says the french
For your lovesick blues
La maladie d'amour
He gets the chumps all laughing
But he gets a few to buy
Here's to beefsteak when you're hungry
And whiskey when you're dry
Now the band'll blow their moolah
Like sailors gone ashore
Now we're going to west Helena
To gamble, drink and whore
Let's you and me all make whoopee
Here's mud in your eye
Here's to all the gals you ever want
And heaven when you die
There stands the bottle
Ladies and gentlemen
All these bottles
Don't have to tell you, friends
These days miracles
Don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
There's a big cheese with a cigar
Been sizing up the show
He wants to get the doctor
Pitching on the radio
I will make a switch to guitar
But the rules all still apply
They want to trust somebody
Yeah, they want a stand up guy
There stands the bottle
Here's to absent friends
All these bottles
Dead soldiers in the end
These days miracles don't come falling from the sky
Raise your glasses to the doctor
To a stand up guy
To the doctor a stand up guy
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Who puts the doh-re-me in our pockets, keeps the party going on?
They usually rub it in
We was going through the motions ‘til the doctor came along
These days miracles don’t come falling from the sky ("these days" meaning "now that we've reached a certain age")
He says the French for your lovesick blues, la maladie d’amour
He gets the chumps all laughing
Now we’re going to West Helena to gamble, drink and whore
Let’s you and me all make whoopee
Here’s to all the gals you ever want
I accept that some of these are rather indirect, but in their totality, they add up to the only explanation.
Either that or else I have a one-track mind.
Who puts the doh-re-me in our pockets, keeps the party going on?
They usually rub it in
We was going through the motions ‘til the doctor came along
These days miracles don’t come falling from the sky ("these days" meaning "now that we've reached a certain age")
He says the French for your lovesick blues, la maladie d’amour
He gets the chumps all laughing
Now we’re going to West Helena to gamble, drink and whore
Let’s you and me all make whoopee
Here’s to all the gals you ever want
I accept that some of these are rather indirect, but in their totality, they add up to the only explanation.
Either that or else I have a one-track mind.
It's not (just) an aphrodisiac, but an all-round cure for all maladies.
The "doh-re-me" is slang for money (doug). Rubbing it in need'nt be rubbing it on the you-know-what, but rubbing it on any affected area, like an arthritic knee, psoriasis-stricken skin or bald head.
That they were "going through the motions" is hardly a double entendre, but rather a description of the crew not knowing how to "put on a show" - a sales pitch. The "doctor" knows how to do this.
Malady d'amour is a "disease of love", i.e. a veneral disease (VD). The rest is simply about the crew going to West Helena to use their freshly earned money - not that they have to go somewhere to use the "remidy". If so, why would the be drinking and gambling?
Anyway, my 2 cent.
The line "here's to absent friends" might indicate that the narrator thinks no one can be trusted, which could serve as a justification for him to keep on deceiving other people as well?
The protaganist, "the Doctor" is a snake oil salesman. The narrator is his straight man and banjo player.
The narrator tells us that his troupe was generally mediocre or worse: "we was going through the motions ‘til the doctor came along". But there's no show without a good snake oil salesman (who puts the do-re-mi [dough$] in our pockets...?")
The narrator tells us how the Doctor sells the mostly-alcohol snake oil - by engaging the crowd with jokes ("he gets the chumps all laughing"), false promises ("when the monkeyshine is flying"), sounding smart (speaking French, "la maladie d'amour"), etc.
The song transitions to a whorehouse in West Helena (probably Montana, though perhaps Arkansas) where the Travelling Show's band, flush with dough, is drinking: "Now the band will blow their moolah, like sailor's gone ashore...." There follows a series of toasts: (1) here's to beefsteak when you're hungry... (2) here's mud in your eye (3) here's to all the gals you ever want...
Why then do I say that this song is a metaphor for the death of the Old West? Well, the "big cheese with a cigar ... wants to get the doctor pitching on the radio." Since commercial radio wasn't popular until the mid-1920s, there were few Old West places left - Montana being one. The narrator, realizing that their days are numbered, offers the song's final and most haunting toast "Here's to absent friends" (if ever a friend of yours has died, especially a friend you consider a Stand Up Guy, you know what I mean), again, a metaphor for the passing of a way of life.
This song is not about anyone in particular but a genre of people that he finds interesting.