This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
ellen and ben
they met at someone's house warming party
they didn't like each other at first
but i was still there
i heard them talking as they found their raincoats
they made a date expecting the worst
ellen went home
she made a snack and went up on her rooftop
and didn't think about ben at all
she stayed up for hours
just watching all the drunk folks find their taxis
because all in all it was a good night
soco in bed
a sunny sunday watching john mclaughlin
and having sex again and again
i stopped by
because ellen had my copy of nebraska
they never even put on their clothes
hung for a while
but everytime i tried to ask them something
they started making out again
i thought it was rude
i couldn't tell you why
ellen and ben
they may as well have run off to havana
and simply dissapeared for a year
they show up at shows
but less and less and saying 'hi' to no one
and why they ever came wasn't clear
they got a new place
but neither of their names were in the phonebook
so no one really knew where they were
i thought it was cheap
but i couldn't tell you why
when i was ten
i had this book of modern fighter planes
with f15s and MiGs
that and a bowl of Breyer's Mint Chip was life at its apex
the chewing of pens
the ocean city girls out on the boardwalk singing oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah
ellen and ben
i heard they broke up loudly at a wedding
and never saw each other again
it seems kind of weird
they made each other feel like they could die but
they couldn't stay the slightest of friends
well i'm doing fine
i'm staying busy hanging with my nephew
and trying to keep my eyes on the prize
you know how it goes
and so do i so call me if you can now
you know how i love a surprise
they met at someone's house warming party
they didn't like each other at first
but i was still there
i heard them talking as they found their raincoats
they made a date expecting the worst
ellen went home
she made a snack and went up on her rooftop
and didn't think about ben at all
she stayed up for hours
just watching all the drunk folks find their taxis
because all in all it was a good night
soco in bed
a sunny sunday watching john mclaughlin
and having sex again and again
i stopped by
because ellen had my copy of nebraska
they never even put on their clothes
hung for a while
but everytime i tried to ask them something
they started making out again
i thought it was rude
i couldn't tell you why
ellen and ben
they may as well have run off to havana
and simply dissapeared for a year
they show up at shows
but less and less and saying 'hi' to no one
and why they ever came wasn't clear
they got a new place
but neither of their names were in the phonebook
so no one really knew where they were
i thought it was cheap
but i couldn't tell you why
when i was ten
i had this book of modern fighter planes
with f15s and MiGs
that and a bowl of Breyer's Mint Chip was life at its apex
the chewing of pens
the ocean city girls out on the boardwalk singing oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah
ellen and ben
i heard they broke up loudly at a wedding
and never saw each other again
it seems kind of weird
they made each other feel like they could die but
they couldn't stay the slightest of friends
well i'm doing fine
i'm staying busy hanging with my nephew
and trying to keep my eyes on the prize
you know how it goes
and so do i so call me if you can now
you know how i love a surprise
Lyrics submitted by plosion, edited by peanutbuttermerkin
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I like how this song illustrates that sometimes the more in love you are with someone, and the more involved you were with them, the harder it is to remain friends afterwards. I don't know why that is, but it does pan out that way occasionally.