This could mean wasting away or even wasted drinking alcohol to forget the pain, and in essence, losing time by being drunk through hours of time
"I’m a foolish, fragile spine
I want all that is not mine
I want him but we’re not right"
These three lines really signify some sort of regret to me, but also a sense of "how could I be so sensitive and stupid". And now I want him so bad, even though I know I regret having been with him. He made me feel so vulnerable and now I want him still. I can't stop being vulnerable.
"In the darkness I will meet my creators
And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator"
This part is really upsetting because she is imposing a lot of self blame. I know I was smothering, I know that even my creators would say so. They are disappointed in me too. Really feeling alone and at fault. That point in the break up where you start to miss them and feel like "please, let us just forget everything and just be lying beside each other. I miss your touch so much"
"I should go now quietly
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
What a mess I leave
To follow"
She is really expressing a deep sadness and hopelessness. I am such a mess, and I am leaving such a mess of me behind. A mess of someone who only smothers and suffocates others. She is really regretful, as if she feels like she is the worst person in the world.
"Oh no
I’m sorry if I smothered you
I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside
My mother
Never to come out"
Again, it is that coming to terms with oh my god, I am so sorry. I am sorry if I smothered you and drove you away. I feel so worthless and I just wish I didn't exist.
Overall this song is so sad, Elena must have been in a really dark place writing this one. There is such desperation of not wanting to be alone, this really hit home.
"I am wasted, losing time "
This could mean wasting away or even wasted drinking alcohol to forget the pain, and in essence, losing time by being drunk through hours of time
"I’m a foolish, fragile spine I want all that is not mine I want him but we’re not right"
These three lines really signify some sort of regret to me, but also a sense of "how could I be so sensitive and stupid". And now I want him so bad, even though I know I regret having been with him. He made me feel so vulnerable and now I want him still. I can't stop being vulnerable.
"In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator"
This part is really upsetting because she is imposing a lot of self blame. I know I was smothering, I know that even my creators would say so. They are disappointed in me too. Really feeling alone and at fault. That point in the break up where you start to miss them and feel like "please, let us just forget everything and just be lying beside each other. I miss your touch so much"
"I should go now quietly For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep Where all my layers can become reeds All my limbs can become trees All my children can become me What a mess I leave To follow"
She is really expressing a deep sadness and hopelessness. I am such a mess, and I am leaving such a mess of me behind. A mess of someone who only smothers and suffocates others. She is really regretful, as if she feels like she is the worst person in the world.
"Oh no I’m sorry if I smothered you I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside My mother Never to come out"
Again, it is that coming to terms with oh my god, I am so sorry. I am sorry if I smothered you and drove you away. I feel so worthless and I just wish I didn't exist.
Overall this song is so sad, Elena must have been in a really dark place writing this one. There is such desperation of not wanting to be alone, this really hit home.