Lyric discussion by bueller84 

Cover art for Secret Door lyrics by Arctic Monkeys

...Does anyone else take the fools on parade to be the famous themselves, rather than photographers or media-stalker types? I think that makes more sense, especially when he says "fools on parade cavort and carry on for waiting eyes," with the fools being the celebrities making their way down a red carpet for photographers and other fame whores waiting for them (the waiting eyes). Also, I think Alex gives more hints that celebrities themselves are the fools on parade: they "frolic and fuck about" as they live their fabulous lives, hoping to get a picture taken by at least one of those waiting eyes.

And what gets him about this particular female is that she plays the part of one of those fools on parade so perfectly. But after he knows her more, he sees that she's not a fool on parade, but she willingly and almost eagerly plays the part, because "it's better that than get a reputation as a miserable little tyke." In reality, her thoughts are like hey-I'm-with-you-but-I'm-not-like-you when it comes to the celebrity/public situation.

To me, the rest of the lyric's meanings are about his amazement at her façade, and how he feels like "a butler pushing on a bookshelf and unveiling the unexpected" when he finds out that it's all a show ("how could such a creature survive in such a habitat?"..."she's saying nothing, she's just giggling along"). The best part of it is that despite all the bullshit of the exterior, the two of them are super cool and air-tight on the inside. He's smitten ("Even if they were to find us, I wouldn't notice. I'm completely occupied") and she is too ("..But you're daft to think she'd care") and they could both care less about who is or looks like a fool on parade.

Every time I hear this tune, I flash back to those pictures belledujour pointed out, lol. Probably my Humbug favorite.