I notice this version is longer, so it must've been from the stage musical... I'll post the soundtrack version:
"A Little Priest"
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
That's all very well, but what're we gonna do about him?
TODD: (spoken)
Later on, when it's dark. We'll take it to some secret place and bury it.
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
Oh yeah, 'course we could do that.
Don't suppose he's got any relatives that are gonna go poking around looking for him...
(sung)
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: (spoken)
Shame?
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift...
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...
TODD: (spoken)
Ah!
MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Business never better using only pussycats and toast
Now a puss is good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...
TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
TODD:
How choice!
How rare!
Oh what's the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?
TODD: (spoken)
These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
Here we are. Hot out of the oven!
TODD: (spoken)
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest
TODD:
Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't come in sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean?
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!
TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
MRS. LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
TOGETHER:
That those above will serve those down below!
TODD: (spoken)
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop. Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual sheperd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician so oily, it's served with a doily
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar!
Fried is drier!
TODD:
No! The clergy is really too coarse and too mearly
MRS. LOVETT:
Then actor?
It's compacter
TODD:
Ah, but always arrives overdone!
(spoken)
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
(sung)
Have charity towards the world, my pet
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love
TODD:
We'll take the customers take we can get
MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No! We'll serve anyone, meaning anyone
I notice this version is longer, so it must've been from the stage musical... I'll post the soundtrack version:
"A Little Priest"
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
That's all very well, but what're we gonna do about him?
TODD: (spoken)
Later on, when it's dark. We'll take it to some secret place and bury it.
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
Oh yeah, 'course we could do that. Don't suppose he's got any relatives that are gonna go poking around looking for him...
(sung)
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: (spoken)
Shame?
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste... Such a nice, plump frame Wot's 'is name has... Had... Has! Nor it can't be traced... Business needs a lift Debts to be erased... Think of it as thrift As a gift If you get my drift... Seems an awful waste... I mean, with the price of meat What it is When you get it If you get it...
TODD: (spoken)
Ah!
MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop! Business never better using only pussycats and toast Now a puss is good for maybe six or seven at the most! And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...
TODD:
Eminently practical And yet appropriate as always! Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived Without you all these years, I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable!
LOVETT: Think about it! Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave, Won't they? Think of All them Pies!
TODD: How choice! How rare! Oh what's the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around!
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH: And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?
TODD: (spoken)
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for
MRS. LOVETT: (spoken)
Here we are. Hot out of the oven!
TODD: (spoken)
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest
TODD:
Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least! Then again, they don't come in sins of the flesh, So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is How do you know it's deceased? Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow, Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean?
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal, You might enjoy Royal Marine! Anyway, it's clean Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire, On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer, You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker, More like vicar!
MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer -- It's green!
TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
MRS. LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves, So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
TOGETHER:
That those above will serve those down below!
TODD: (spoken)
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop. Finest in the shop Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual sheperd on top And I've just begun Here's the politician so oily, it's served with a doily Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun Well, you never know if it's going to run!
MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar! Fried is drier!
TODD:
No! The clergy is really too coarse and too mearly
MRS. LOVETT:
Then actor? It's compacter
TODD:
Ah, but always arrives overdone!
(spoken) I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
(sung) Have charity towards the world, my pet
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love
TODD:
We'll take the customers take we can get
MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small No! We'll serve anyone, meaning anyone
TOGETHER:
And to anyone At all!!!
Love singing along to this as well~!!